Quotes
1. "Dear Lisa, you rock! Mom is calling rescue agencies, Dad is building a giant ladder, but it is of poor quality. We miss you, Bart." -- Bart's letter to Lisa, in "Lisa the Tree Hugger"
2. "It'll be like the Swiss Family Robinson, only with more swearing. We'll live like kings! Damn-Hell-Ass Kings!" -- Bart, when first stranded on the island, in "Das Bus"
3. "If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing." -- Homer Simpson
4. Prank call: "Bea O'Problem! Bea O'Problem! Come on, guys, do I have a Bea O'Problem here?" -- Moe
5."I'm not easily impressed. Wow a blue car!" -- Homer Simpson
6. "I am so smart! I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean, S-M-A-R-T!" -- Homer J. Simpson
7. "Well, I'm a pretty lousy president." -- Bill Clinton in The Simpsons
8. "I stand by my disappointed groan." -- Homer Simpson
9. "Hey, what's with the attitude? I just wanted some
dealies." -- Homer Simpson in reference to horse shoes
10. "That horse better win, or we're taking a trip to the glue factory -- and he won't get to come." -- Homer Simpson
1. "A lot of people consider me small and prestigious" --George Castanza
2. George: "Whats the worst that could happen?" Jerry: "You'd be embarassed in front of a large group of people and have to walk out with your tail between your legs." George: "So what?"
3. "Women don't respect salad eaters." -- Jerry
4. "Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's peppermint -- it's delicious!" -- Kramer
5. "A guy who's about five foot eleven, he's got uh, a big head and flared nostrils."
- Kramer, describing Jerry, in "The Movie"
6. "Like, a horse face, big teeth, and a pointed nose."
- George, describing Jerry, in "The Movie"
7. "A short guy with glasses, looked like Humpty Dumpty with a melon head."
- The ticket lady, describing George, in "The Movie"
8. "A pretty woman, you know, kinda short, big wall of hair, face like a frying pan."
- George, describing Elaine, in "The Movie"
9. "Have you seen a tall, lanky dufus with a bird face and hair like the bride of Frankenstein?"
- Elaine, describing Kramer, in "The Movie"
1. "Hmm must've pulled something playing hoops last week." --Stewie
2. "Hello 911? Yeah its Quagmire... Yeah its caught in a window this time." -- Quagmire
3. "Random dead body search." -- Death
4. "Women. Yackedy Yack Yack Yack. Ha Ha. You Know. Enjoy the fight." -- Stewie
5. "How you doin' there big guy? Huh? You want a soda? Ahhh screw it I tried." -- Stewie
6. Death: "What are you talking about? Animals fight all the time." Death's Girlfriend: "Not with nuclear arms. You can't hug your children with nuclear arms."
1. "We don't even exist. We're just a clever visual metaphor used to portray the abstract concept of thought." -- one of the workers in Spongebob's brain
2. "I am a mystery wrapped in an enigma." -- Patrick Star
3. "I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready" -- SpongeBob
4. "I order the food, you cook the food. We do that for 40 years, and then we die." -- Squidward
5. "Oh, tartar sauce!" -- SpongeBob
6. "It's not the boots, it's the boot-ee. Err... I mean, uh... the person in the boots." -- Mr. Krabs
7. "When in doubt, pinky out!" -- Patrick
8. "Here's your pay check, plus a bonus, well, here's your pay check anyway." -- Mr. Krabs
9. "If I had a dollar for every brain you don't have, I'd have one dollar." -- Squidward
1. "Oh hello. Welcome to homestarrunner.net. [Director, "It's dot com"] Oh. Right. homestarrunner.net "It's dot com"" -- Homestar Runner
2. "I'm just not cut out to say the word jorb" -- Coach Z
3. "He gets digits like every single day" -- Homestar Runner
4. "He's gotten me outta some pretty tight jams and some pretty tight pants. But that only happened once." -- Homestar Runner
1. "Eating is just another word for nothing left to lose." -- Drew Carey
2. "Hey I'm Drew Carrey, God's hackey sac." -- Drew Carey
3. "Hey look! It's tomorrow." -- Drew Carey
4. "Hey, that is the 8:04 honk. It's my anal retentive car pool." -- Drew Carey
5. "I gotta warn you, I'm a nudist and I'm friendly." -- Drew Carey
6. "I'm a toilet of sadness. Oh well, at least I'm not a dying whore." -- Drew Carey
7. "I'm alive! Stop hitting me!" -- Drew Carey
8. "If I date you, I'll have to date everybody." -- Drew Carey
9. "It's time to play our game. Good old American Chinese checkers." -- Drew Carey
10. "Oh look at that, you're whole head is blushing. That's so cute." -- Drew Carey
11. "They're breast implants. I volunteered for a scientific experiment. Scientific." -- Oswald
1. " We're babies! We're supposed to get in trouble. That's our job!" -- Tommy
2. "You know, sometimes I think playing with Angelica might not be as much fun as she says it is." -- Chuckie
3. "Eat it first, ask questions later!" -- Phil
4. "There's no 'splaining grown-ups." -- Lil
5. "A friend is a person who does whatever you say no matter what, and doesn't make a big deal about it." -- Angelica