Right, so this is late as all hell, since said war is, you know, over. Sue me.
Please. I've been itching to use counterpoint recently. Basically everyone and their mother has a view on this whole thing, (you should know Matt's* by now.) and I thought "well, why not."
This one's a little different, because I'm telling my opinion through the eyes as a spectator in a global "neighborhood," which, when you cut through the metaphorical bullshit, is what we really are when it comes to politics: observers.
(A little note: I'll be using the pronoun "he" in most [not all] cases when I anthropomorphise** the countries in question, since I speak fucking English, and those are the rules.)
So anyway, there's some nasty shit going down in Iraq's block. USA broke Iraq's door down, and he's in Iraq's house, and is fucking him the hell up, as we speak. Iraq will live through it, probably, and he'll be better off for it, but I don't think either of the two will be the same. Or anyone, for that matter.
This whole load of bullshit started a while ago. Iraq started eyeballing Kuwait (his next door neighbor) like a he was a fucking hungry, horny lion, and Kuwait was a lioness made of roast beef. USA didn't like that. You see, USA is kinda tight with Kuwait. And besides, she's really short, she can't defend herself when Iraq starts rubbing up on her, getting all grabby. USA is kind of a Boy Scout in that respect: he looks out for people who can't look out for themselves.
So USA came up into Iraq's face, and stared his ass down, yanking Kuwait out of his grip. She was happy Iraq didn't do more than just grab at her (and he would have,) but what she really wanted USA to do was beat the living shit out of Iraq. People don't do that kinda rape shit since England was fucking around so damn much, and that was a while ago. So what does USA do? Nothing. Totally pussies out, basically just wags his finger in Iraq's face like he was his fucking dad, and leaves.
Needless to say, this pisses Iraq off. In his eyes, Iraq was just trying to get his fuck on, and USA cock-blocked him. Would've pissed off anybody, right? Well, Iraq's not just anybody. Now, Iraq's nice and all, and shit, practically everyone grew up from out of his block, but lately he's been... well, the proper name for it is "batshit insane."
Iraq is basically totally nuts, and has no morals whatsoever. If Iraq wants something, then he'll get it. Or, at least he would try. He's kind of a bitch, so he'd mostly just whine about it. You know, like the shorter one of the Korea twins, North, he's all talk. North Korea got a piece earlier, and he's been acting all big, waving it around in peoples faces (even his brother), like he's hardcore. Would he use it? Fuck no, he's probably blow his own damn head off by mistake. But it makes him feel big, so with gun he is, walking around like king of the fuck-...
We're getting off topic. Iraq was pissed as hell. So was most of his block. They have been for a while, most of them don’t like USA, or USA's block, or anybody from around there. Iraq's block is full of old school, traditional sort of people. USA... isn't. And USA likes poking his nose around other people's business. This causes trouble, and it comes in the form of one little, no-name kid from the block. A kid with the name of Afghanistan.
One day, a while past USA and Iraq's little argument, Afghanistan (or one of his friends, or a few of his friends, the details are kinda sketchy here) comes up to USA, out of the blue, and sticks a shiv in his chest. Stabbed him three times, almost four, one pretty close to his heart. It was in September. You know the date. We all do.
USA isn't a little guy. He's big, real big, but this fucked him up pretty hard. The wounds are still healing and are almost pretty much gone, but the emotional ones may never go. USA was tight as all hell with Afghanistan a while back, when USSR was fucking around with him a lot like Iraq was with Kuwait. USA taught Afghanistan how to fight to protect himself from people like USSR, not to betray USA like this. USA wants the best for people, is that so fucking wrong?
(Just so you know, USSR got out of trouble a little bit after that, changed his name, and is now on pretty good terms with USA. Kind of a happy ending, but he's got a long way to go. Take it one day at a time, chief. We all wish ya luck.)
After USA healed up some, he went very quickly from sadness to anger, went up, and fucking rocked the hell out of Afghanistan. Totally cold-cocked him. Still on the block, and still pissed, the question passes his mind: "Will this happen again? Afghanistan wasn't the only person I helped out around here, could somebody else want to "thank" me in that same-...
"Iraq. I helped Iraq too, before the thing with Kuwait. Motherfucker! I helped him just like I helped Afghanistan, and look how he is now! FUCK!"
Now, Iraq was being an asshole this whole time, totally sulking after USA bitched him out. USA didn't really care all that much at the time, but now he was on Iraq's block, Pissed as hell, and looking for answers. So USA sets his sights on Iraq, and here we are, fists a-flying.
Some people in the neighborhood don't like USA's actions. Personally, I don't either. This whole thing is USA being pissed off, and settling old scores. Would Iraq have done the same as Afghanistan, or paid someone bigger to? Would it have worked that time? It's possible. It's entirely possible, and USA is just looking to protect himself, and I agree with that. Is what USA doing right now right? Yes. Should he be doing it now? No.
You know why?
Because when Kuwait was getting manhandled by Iraq, USA should just kicked the living shit out of him. If he had, none of this mess would be happening.
But, in the end, there's no "rewind" button on the universe, USA can't go back and take care of Iraq when he should have. Will this cause more problems in the long run with Iraq's neighbors? It's possible, but we'll only know when it happens, and by then, it'll be too late to fix that, and it'll continue on, and on, and on.
I just hope no one I know is in the way of the next shiv.
* If you don't, see the next rant. - M
** Microsoft word is telling me this isn't a word. How is this not a word? If it's not, it should be. - J
I think it's anthorpomorphization. - M