Sunday November 3, 2002
Today your prayers are not only felt but heard Destiny's bum is much better and the grace given to me to change her diapers is incredible. Thank You Lord.
I know the strenght and coverage you give me and allow me to have daily is only possible with you in my life.
The weather has gotten alittle chilly but we still do not have snow there is frost on the car windows in the morning and you need to wear a jacket at night but our temperatures are still around the 40's during the day. Yesterday I put Destiny down for a nap and just curled up with her and took a nap as well it felt so good I was so refreshed afterwards its been a while since I've done that. Destiny is asking for more food and keeping it down she wakes up in the morning and will ask throught out the day I'm hungry I eat mom please these words make me just jump for her to ask and want to eat is such a big blessing. I pray that one day she will be able to eat enough and maintain her weight for us to be able to get off the TPN/Lipids at night or at least reduce the volume. Kyle Alter is under going his radiation I have not spoken with him mom I do ask that you keep this family in your prayers please. With all our love, Ruth and family.
Sunday November 3, 2002
Yes its true we had a earthquake here today 7.9 I did not even hear it rumble it was a rolling quake that lasted 30 seconds. Destiny would have been fine had I not said oh its an earthquake then she goes oh mom its scary no its not were fine here come sit with mom. OK. Normally I can hear them this one was sneaky. The pipeline was shut down to check for damage there was some the crews are working on it. The news reported damaged up by Fairbanks, Tok up north nothing in Anchorage. So lets see no snow cold temperatures and an earthquake today that about sums it up. Destiny was full of herself today after her nap she was into everything today.
Wednesday November 6, 2002
Today I took Dr. Eberle out to lunch. For everything that he does for us it was the least I could for him. One of the parents in our office bought Destiny the "Elmo wants to be chicken" when I brought it home she goes mom is that for me. She loves it and does the chicken dance with Elmo.
Friday November 8, 2002
Well some of the staff is mad at me from work because I did not tell them it was the doctor's birthday. Well they can be mad I did not change this date from last year and all but one person was there last year its time they take responsibly and be held accountable for themselves. I do not cater to them nor do I plan to start. It is like a bunch of grade schoolers anyways I am back to winning friends and influencing people. I just remind myself and tell Dr. Eberle I am there for him and his wife Nancy not to mother and the reminder to everyone in the office. Tomorrow the sun will come and I plan to make the best of that day and the next one and the next one. Life is too short for me to get bent out of shape.
Saturday November 9, 2002
Dr. Wellmann is getting married 11/30/02 this weekend my mom said why don't you take Destiny to his wedding and have your sister pick her up and you can go to the reception. I said mom if I take her she'll be yelling Doctor Scott, or Doctor and take the moment away from his wife to be. So instead of the battle of keeping her quite I will leave her at home plus I get to play dress up for myself curl my hair, put some make up on.
Monday November 11, 2002
Thank you to all of you who have fought in a war or who serve our country. Many of us have family members who have and are still fighting for others our prayers go out to you and your families.
Destiny's bum is much better and she is now able to let me change her with no problems. We are looking at getting an automatic blood pressure machine for the house and when this comes through I am going to stop having the nurses come to my house, we have had somebody different in and out of the house for the last 5 months I feel I can do this in the evenings with no problmes. I already do all the morning meds, disconnect the pumps, flush the lines - Cacelia is doing the three meds and flushes the lines in the afternoon. The evening nurse comes in and does the two evening meds, flushes, checks vitals, starts the TPN/Lipids and the third pump which is reglan every 6 hours. I have reached a point with the weather changing and getting colder like about 27 degrees now tonight I want to come in at night close the door and curl up with Destiny as we watch Annie for the million and one times I know you are all jealous that you can not watch it that many times- hold back. Its just time I step to the plate and take charge I still have a nurse to check on us twice a month, a care coordinator and case manager coming to the house for check in's.
Thursday November 14, 2002
So I have come to the time to think I am not to have any fish or pets in our lives, I had a bright blue Beta Fish that was gorgeous as I thought its time I clean the tank I put her in a cup while I was cleaning. I finish with all the rocks and put the new water in as I turn to look for Beta she is gone where can she be she was just here. So I go ranting at everybody why the took the fish when they know I was cleaning the tank nobody in the house knows what I am talking about even Destiny is downstairs with her Auntie Mommy and cousin watching Veggie Tales. I go back up stairs search the kitchen I am puzzled and byself myself. I start wiping the counter and low and behold Beta is under the microwave she was a jumper. Oh NO, I scream and everybody comes running What What. So now I have to fess up one to say Sorry then to mention I had a jumper and she is gone. At first I am floor then I look to the ceiling and ask the Lord is this the way of mentioning to me I have to much going on in my life and do not have the time to take care of a fish? This morning I thought I was going blind today I got up finished my shower put my contacts in and could not figure out why my eyes are so blurry. I take my contact out and clean them really good but as I start to rub my eyes the are all scratchy I rub my eyes really hard OH LOOK I slept with my contacts in and had two sets in. So now on to Destiny we are past watching Annie we are on to Veggie Tales are you afraid of the dark as they are singing God is bigger then the boogie man Destiny puts her finger in her nose and say mom the boogie man. All I could do is laugh.
Saturday November 16, 2002
Where to begin ok deep breathe Destiny is doing really good she took her last antibotic today YEAH. We are scheduled to check into Dr. Wellmann's office on Wednesday 11/20 for a pacer check, weight, and height blood pressure readings then a direct admit to the PICU for the tune up to run Dobutamine and oxygen. You know 3000 miles time for a Lube Oil and Filter. I need your help for many family members and friends tonight. Our little buddy Shawn went for a routine cath lab procedure yesterday there were alot of risk at one point and our buddy is in the PICU at this time and will be staying for a while. His mother Trista new sister born last month are staying at the hospital with Shawn the two older sisters are with there grandparents and Trista's husband George is juggling work, the hospital and his daughters please keep this whole family in your prayers for protection and strenght and for Shawn to have the body armour to fight for everyday. To listen to Dr. Wellmann and Dr. Brauner talk to Trista and George about Shawn is a different child but so many of the same procedures and medicines each of our children take are the same. So many emotions I was given so much protection I was able to be strong for them and to just be there for them. But I was able to release in the car before I got home. As the parent you fight for everything being done to your and child and the other children to someday walk the same path. One of the families we see in Dr. Eberle's office the dad and mother have flew to Seattle for the dad to receive a stem cell transplant to help with his cancer there children are here in Anchorage with grandparents. Kyle is down at Children's Hospital in Seattle receiving radiation and will be there until Christmas, Kyle's mother is here working at this time while Kyle's father is with him. This would be the only time in my life that I pray for snow so the dad is able to come home for Kyle's mother to go and be with him its breaking her heart daily. When I checked with her last Wednesday she had very puffy eyes. Ok Now I need to let you know of three other people in our own family- Destiny brother Frankie who lives in California is going to start going through medicial tests his mom just had surgery and is having alot of reaction to the medicines given to her and she herself is in the hospital at this time. Destiny grandma in California is having back trouble not only do I ask for all the people I have listed by name but this is a call for everybody who knows somebody who is in need of prayer at all times everybody needs somebody and if you can offer your walk with the Lord and keep them in prayer we all know the power of prayer is unstopable. All it takes is for you to share you life with others. I am able to be strong when I am needed by families or to help give my shoulder for those that need a dry one I am doing the Lord's work in everybody I touch. As Christmas is approaching people tend to do more but we need to be giving and caring all year long.
Tuesday November 19, 2002
Tomorrow Destiny goes in for her 3000 mile tune up at the hospital for labs to check her CBC, CMP, blood work for infection, a pacer check, echo , Dobutamine, and O2. We should be there 3 to 5 days is what is planned I have the suitcase packed with toys, movies, markers, crayons, stickers, kazoos, Peter, Paul and Mary to entertain us actualy Veggie Tales. Destiny told me the other night mom I feel sick I need to go see the doctor I said not now we will wait and see him later. So tonight she was whinny I asked her so you need a bologna smack she goes hahaha NO mom. I tell you she is such an adult in a kids body. Our buddy Shawn is doing better but is in need of our prayer, Auntie Edna is doing better I have not heard about Kyle, and Frankie, or how the doing the Forshee family when I know you will know these families need our help reach out and keep them in your prayers. As time allows I will post on the webpage remember no news is good news. I will be working on Thursday while my sister stays with Destiny at the hospital during the day and on friday I plan to work until 12pm then go stay at the hospital. I am working on printing pictures and working on my scrapbook. My love to all of you and I will catch you soon. Ruth
Wednesday November 20, 2002
We went to Dr. Wellmann's office first he got a weight, blood pressures, and checked her pacer which is going ok afterwards he scooped her up and carried her to the unit to be admitted. We have Room #304 we actually have not been on that side of the unit since April of 02. I placed my order to Destiny to have her double heart balloon and the M&M's pink, red and white to be delivered. Destiny was running around and happy to be there just cracking up and having other laugh with her. The nurse came in to draw her labs even up to now Destiny was having fun then it came time for the oxygen (O2) our nurse tried making a game of this and I brought out one of Destiny makeup kits for her to watch the sticker put on her face BIG MISTAKE-- by watching this Destiny's feeling were hurt and she did not want anybody by her and was whinnyyyyyyyy for the rest of the night. I was exhausted by the time I got her to sleep I could barely keep my eyes open. I tryed laying on my air mattress and Destiny would scream for me to hold my hand then she didn't want me to hold her's then it was up and down, By the time she went to sleep I just needed to pin my eye lids open but I did get up and go to work the next day.
Thursday November 21, 2002
Today the nurse drew a PRA rest I was wanting to check the levels for everything just because but when I returned to the hospital after work I was told the lab did not know what to do or where to send it. At this point I put my hands in the air because I did not except them to get it right I just wanted to know so if this lab went out I have no idea. Our little buddy (Shawn) has an infection in his blood system his family is in need of strong prayer for protection and strenght to help fight. I am very glad to have the Stockwell's as a part of our lives two different children but so much in common. Do you know I had a nurse show up at the house tonight to take care of Destiny my sister and dad let her know that services were stopped last saturday. This home nurse had not idea the supervisor never let her know. Anyways-----
I was looking over the TPN bag and noticed some more meds added to the bag iron dextran and selenium the rate was lowered to 400 from 440 it still runs for 8 hours at night but the volume went from 55 to 50 this is good. Destiny will eat but does not eat enough to maintain her weight yesterday admit weight was 12 kilos with her clothes and diaper on.
Friday November 22, 2002
I slept ok last night we had to change out our pumps it kept alarming I believe the only reason these pumps are made are to check the patience of the parents and nursing staff they help with medicines but are a pain in the butt. I went to work for a couple of hours this morning but as I was leaving Trista was having a bad morning I stayed a while to help her I even picked up the phone to call Dr. Wellmann's office and requested he be paged and sent to see Trista NOW she had questions and needed answers. I would help as much as I can and be there at anytime when they ever call. I can only express to you how much of a blessing it is to me to have her a phone call away when I need them Trista is on the same path and takes things day by day and does not plan for nothing more. I don't what the future holds all I know is I am to enjoy her while I have her. If I even start to think about the next surgery my stomach does alot of flip flops, the doctors will need to replace the pacer, wires,and leads if they were to use the same wires and leads and put in a new battery it would eat up the battery in about a year's time. I am not going into this blind I also know how big Destiny's heart is and now that all four chambers are dilated so not only are they replacing everything the doctors will need to find good connection on her heart. As I know more I will let you know more I am leaning on all of you for emotional support and lean on the Lord for my daily walk in life. See if this sounds familiar--I Thank God for this day, for the sun and the moon, Veggie Tales I know the work he does in our lives and know where he is in my life FIRST.
Today Destiny and Auntie Mommy tryed going for a walk on the unit but there was a clashing of the authority before they got out of her room. Destiny needs to wear a mask in order to walk around but she was not going to wear it or have nothing to do with it so nowhere did they go. Dr. Wellmann came in while I was out and mentioned we will be going home tomorrow.
Saturday November 23, 2002
Its a good thing I never plan on a time to come home something always pops up. I noticed last night about 11pm the Dobuatmine had not been lowered so I asked my nurse about it the where no notes in the chart to start lowering this so they would have to call the doctor but its a good thing that one happen to come in at 1 am on a admit once this was brought to her attention she put in Destiny's chart to start lowering this heart medicine. By 6pm we head out the door I took in my Minnie Mouse outfit for me and Destiny for us to play dress up I wore mine out but Destiny told me I don't like that. Before we could leave I left my air mattress for Trista to use I would help and make a big differene when sleeping. We also took some pictures of us together if all well we are planning to get the King (Shawn) and Queen of Hearts (Destiny) together on friday 11/30/02 to dip pretzels, and melt chocolates for the kids to make different shapes. I can not wait for as much as we talk we never have had both of the kids out of the hospital long enough for them to play. Our buddy is feeling much better but they still need our prayers I pray every day for this family and the other I have mentioned in our web page. Shawn is 4 years old his baby sister Haley is now one month old that little girl has not left the hospital for more then a week since her birth and her brother being in the hospital, Trista even went into labor when Shawn was admitted they left one hospital and went right to the other for Trista to give birth. While Destiny was admitted this time I wrote on her board that before you give Destiny her infection you must tell her its a Bee Sting it will hurt and your sorry at the time of admit there were three very sick kids with infection the wording was left on the board to see how many would catch it and have a good laugh. I ran out of synthroid yesterday which makes a big difference in myself and helps those around me.
Sunday November 24, 2002
Well we slept in our own bed and slept in until 9am Destiny layed on the couch with me until 10:45 am to wake up some more. I have a really bad head ache today but I thought I just needed to get out of the house we need groceries so I thought I could handle this trip well by the time we walked into the door I was already short circuiting my nerves were gone every other person had a cell phone one. I was like a light bulb gone bad you turn on the light and poof its gone. I did a supermarket sweep to what I needed then I wanted to buy shampoo but the did not have the kind I like the same thing happened with the toothpaste. So I finish my shopping and get in line to go HOME on the way my sister says You patience are smaller then the average bear I busted up laughing once we got home I was ok. I was back to my comfort zone I forgot how much I need downtime after a hospital stay. I have one more bag to unpack and then I always leave one packed in case of an emergency. I can not believe that is almost Thanksgiving. I am so thank for for every day to be a part of this world and be with family and friends like yourself. Please continue to prayer for all these families The Stockwell's, The Alter's, The Forshee's, The Martinez, and The Ramos Families everybody needs prayer but each of these families have enough on there plates let help them out lets help them by asking GOD for desserts first. My thanks to all of you for your support to us. You all mean so much to us.
Wednesday November 27, 2002
Our Little Buddy " The King of Hearts" got to go home today- Praise God. It is to cute that once you tell Destiny and Shawn they get to go home you better have everything ready and the paperwork signed they are lets go now mom. They are so much alike it just cracks me up. One morning the nurse was in with Destiny taking vitals while she was in the room Destiny was playing with the machine to take your temperature pressing the buttons about 5 minutes later the nurse goes to take Shawn's and he does the same thing Destiny was doing. For two kids who don't get to see each other except in the hospital both mommies are so glad to have each other there for the other. At this point it would be easier for both of us to share the room next time were in. Tomorrow is turkey day everybody eat beef save the turkey's or you could serve some rice,beans, and tortilla's along with everything else on the table.
Thursday November 28, 2002
HAPPY THANKSGIVING- the part to remember is "Thanks"
is to be done everyday not just today. Reach out to others need a house to go to. Open your house for others to stop by and say hello. I am greatful for everyday I Thank God every morning and every night and for all my meals. I heard from one of the kids who stopped by this year his mom is fighting Class III, borderline Class IV (its either class or stage) breast cancer. The list everyday is adding another family who is in need of our prayers. I do not ever want you to think I am pushing my believes on you and asking you to pray for these families. This is only a few people who come to my lives and have touched our hearts I can't even begin to image all those families who do not believe or anybody to pray for them. I ask you only if you are open and willing to pray for all these families. I will continue to give followups on how they are doing. Thank you for understanding what I am trying to say. Saturday is Dr. Wellmann's wedding what to wear what to wear- oh wait what can I fit into and not have to anything new. OK five outfit changes I have the one I am going to wear I even brought out the toe ring, with open toe shoes. We have no snow at this time and they are not excepting any soon. I am having my hair done in a fishbone french braid. YES!!!.
Friday November 29, 2002
Biggest day of sales today you could not give away the items or offer them to me for free for me to get up at 4 am to go stand in line for combat shopping. I will end up paying full price and grumble about it later but it will be worth the headache to me later.
Today the nurse called three times for me once to say she knows I ran out of synthroid and will refill it twice to say Ruth knowing its a long weekend we know you can not be without this then the last time was to tell me where the presciptions was sent for me to pick up. You know to me I don't see the difference I feel the difference and I become really GRUMPY to say the least. I put my makeup on the counter tonight and Destiny helped herself to my lip stick and asked if she was pretty OH YEAH Destiny with this lipstick smudged around her lips on the outside of her lips. I went to put her to sleep and she did not want me laying down next to her and asked me to leave the room and get out so I walk into the living room and I am sitting her typing when she starts to call me, Mom
I say go to bed Destiny MOM MOM MOM I say once again go to bed Destiny Now she is yelling MOMMY MOMMY I'm talking to you so I walk in there and ask her if she wants me to lay next to her NO so I come back to the computer and now no sooner do I sit down and she yells Ruth Ruth I'm talking to you. Now how can I be serious I walk in the room and tell her its time for bed. She has stripped out of her diaper and PJ's she tells me she has to go potty - No she didn't but needed to try she finishes and washes her hands I ask Destiny do you want to put on your red PJ's or Tinkerbell she goes Stinkerbell mom. One of the nurses from the PICU gave Destiny PJ's with Tinkerbell and had Stinkerbell put on them. This fits her 100% perfect. Before she went to bed I asked her Destiny what are you doing? She was in her room and she goes I'm not doing nothing mom then busted up laughing. I am giving a laugh of some sort everynight. I tell you Destiny is an adult in a kids body.
Saturday November 30, 2002
Today was Dr. Wellmann's wedding I did not take Destiny she really demands Scott's attention and yells for him every minute she get or when he passes her room actually she can hear him talking to other staff member and she will call him. I had some of the ladies tell me I really clean up nice well compared to sweatpants and tshirts in the hospital not many of the nurses or staff have seen me outside of the hospital and for me to get dressed up with make up and have my hair done is a special reason. As I was getting ready today I told Destiny I was going to work she gave me that puzzled look work No-. Destiny points to my toe ring of butterflies and said I don't like that, thanks but its on my toe not yours and I like it I wore it anyways. I forgot how many times you stand and sit during a Catholic wedding my knees actually hurt a little afterwards. It was so great to see alot of the staff outside of work dressed nice clothes there hair and make up done. I even got to meet a doctor from Portland Children's Hospital who our buddy Shawn visits. I went with two of the office staff from Dr. Wellmann's office and meet up with Trista -- Shawn's mom there. We sat at the same table during the reception. After the ceremony we went for chips and salsa we had a 2 1/2 hour wait for the reception but it could have been more like over three hours I was exhasted and was ready to go home but decided to go to the reception for a while. Dr. Wellmann and his wife had a dinner catered from Glacier Reflection I think now this was good but I am one to watch what I eat so I don't garlic breathe but everybody will have the same breathe so it does not matter I still had some gum to put in my mouth. I kept asking for water to drink I tryed catching one of the girls who was helping clean the dishes away for water she said ok, I went to serve my plate and asked at the bar for water and all they had was bottled and there was a charge pete's sake all I wanted was water. I said best wishes to the bride and groom gave them both a hug but I do not know the bride as well as I know the groom. It was good to sit and watch the hussle of everyone else. I will say there was one couple who I thought was rude one of the male nurses raised his glass and said we got married six months ago and renewed our wedding vows with you I am all for people sharing your day but you don't take away from the bride and groom its their day, then this grooms wife kept clanging her glass with a spoon for the couple to kiss now the first couple of times it was ok but friends and family members were giving there new couple there speeches and only in my words thought that was the icing on the cake when you have friends giving you words from the heart you don't clang your glass for the couple to kiss ( somebody needed to take that spoon away). Hey these are only my words- thats probably why I am still single would you say? When the bride threw her flowers I went up there then the DJ asked everybody to which switched spots thank God because the person standing where I was is the one who catch the flowers WHEW. At this time of my life I am to be alone and do not have time for anybody except the Lord and my children. I did happen to give one of the nurses a hug and told she was in our prayers I made her cry she has just been going through alot I wanted her to knew she was not alone. Can you believe tomorrow is the first of December. Where did this year go to? Oh wait I know the Hospital. I want to thank Konni for the Veggie Tale "Esther" I enjoy that story from the Bible I did miss the veggie tale theme song from the beginning like all the others have in them but we still watch it. I am going to put this out for question I am looking to take one VHS tape and record like five to seven Veggie Tales on one tape- does somebody know how to loop an old VCR and an older VCR to record like this?
I am going to call it a night and will chat with you soon. God Bless and good night.
October's Daily Journal
Destiny's Daily Journal
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