The light from the curtains opening woke me. I had spent the night in Lance’s bunk once again. The first time we did it was when we went to Pensacola. Now it was almost a year later and we were still going strong. *NSYNC was a huge hit in America and now we were on our first really big USA tour. Lance and I had managed to keep our relationship secret. That was, until now.
This time, I was caught.
“What the…….? Lance, shut the curtains!”
“Lance? Caryn, what are you doing in here?”
I opened my eyes to see J.C. frowning at me.
“JC?! What are you doing here?!”
“Don’t you think I should be asking you that?”
“JC for God sakes! I'm 19 years old! I'm not a child anymore!”
JC grabbed my arm, and pulled me out of the bunk. He was clearly furious.
“I don’t give a shit! How long has this been going on?”
“A year or so…….”
“A year?! A year?! What the hell does this look like? I brought you here to manage! Not to screw all the guys!”
“JC that was really harsh. I love Lance. I wouldn’t have done anything if I didn’t.”
JC paced back and forth in front of the bunks. He was trying to calm down.
“Care, I'm supposed to take care of you. I promised Dave that. What would he say if he knew this was going on?”
“He wouldn’t care. He doesn’t care about me. He never did, and he never will. Don’t you see? I’ve finally found someone who truly loves me, and I can love him back.”
“I love you Caryn.”
“I know, but you’re like my brother. I wanted something more than brotherly love. You always worried about me when I was a kid, but I'm not a kid anymore. I know you worry about me Jace,” Caryn touched his hand lightly, “but you don’t have to anymore. It’s okay now.”
JC smiled as he gradually began to calm down.
“If he ever hurts you…….I swear…….”
“Oh, don’t worry. If he hurts me, I’ll kill him first.”
They shared a quick laugh before all the guys got back on the bus. Caryn averted any questions from Lance, but she answered all his questions later on.
Before I knew it, I was celebrating my 20th birthday. It was a huge party, and both *NSYNC and the Backstreet Boys were there. I was in the middle of dancing with Nick when I suddenly felt sick. My head was pounding, and I was getting spots in front of my eyes. I stopped suddenly, and gripped my temples. They were throbbing now. My head felt like it was imploding. I shut my eyes, and fell to the floor.
“Caryn!” JC called. He and Lance rushed to my side on the floor.
“I'm okay you guys. I'm fine I just had a dizzy spell or something.”
JC helped me to my feet, and Lance brushed me off. He handed me a glass of ice water, and I sat on the edge of his bunk and drank it. Katie came by in a few minutes to talk to me.
“What’s up Katie?”
“JC told me about you and Lance.”
“Oh God…….”
“And I think it’s wonderful.”
“You don’t think I'm a whore?”
“Of course not! I’d be a hypocrite if I said that. Are you okay?”
“I feel really sick. Like I have the flu or something. It feels like I have a clamp on my head.”
“Maybe you’re pregnant.”
“What? Impossible!”
Katie stood up and headed towards the ET room.
“Nothing’s impossible.”
I couldn’t be pregnant, I was too young.
There was no way.