I went home the following day only to land, wash my clothes, repack, and fly right back out two days later to Chicago. And, like promised, Jordan was there. This concert was going to be huge. It was a sing-off contest between the boy bands of the US. The opening acts were mostly local talents, but the main show was comprised of the Backstreet Boys and *NSYNC.
Jordan and I waited backstage anxiously while the show began, and the guys prepped. Jordan was so excited to be around all the guys. I decided that today would be the day they would find out.
Now was the perfect time to let everyone know. I was going to make the announcement that Jordan was going to be my successor as manager. The perfect moment was when the guys all got together for their pre-show prayer. After we all said "Amen" was my cue.
"Uh, Guys? Could you maybe stick around for a minute or so? I have an announcement."
JC smiled as he sat down. "Sure Care. What's on your mind?"
I sighed as I tried to choke back my emotions long enough to speak my mind. By the look on Jordan's face I could tell she knew.
"I haven't been completely honest with you all. I know in these past few years we've become like family, and family doesn't keep secrets from each other, right? Well, I have. And a very big one at that." I sighed heavily as the words lingered on my tongue. "I.......have a tumor. It's in my brain and it's been slowly killing me these past few months. I'm on my last week now according to my calculations, and I just want you to know I want Jordan To take over while I'm gone. When I go, I mean."
JC's expression was silent and stunned. It was the same with everyone elses. They all looked like they got hit with two by fours.
"I didn't want you to know," I blurted suddenly to JC, "because I knew it would kill you to have to deal with it for as long as I did. I wanted to suffer alone so you all could be happy. Trust me guys, this is much worse for me."
"Those blackouts.......a stomach parasite Caryn?! What were you thinking?!"
"Please don't yell Jace. And please don't tell Dave. He'll call mom and dad, and I don't want to see them."
"What can we do for you?" Nick asked suddenly. "Isn't there surgery?"
"Yes there is, but it's no good. It would only kill me. Chemo would give me only a few more days maybe. I don't need all that. Just let me die in peace."
Everyone was slowly recovering from shock when they were called onstage. JC held me for forever before he joined his fellow bandmates.
"Hey Chris!" I yelled as he ran onstage. He turned around.
"What?"
"Shawn's number is in my coatpocket. He says to keep in touch."
"Oh, okay, no problemo."
I followed him as he ran onstage. I watched from the wings just offstage. All the lights and strobes gave me a head ache.
Suddenly I realized the strobe lights weren't going. They were flashes in front of my own eyes. My head began throbbing. It was the worst pain ever. I never had an attack like this before. And again, it hit me: This is it. I'm dying.
I stumbled towards the dressing rooms, but fell to the floor as my feet gave way beneath me. My whole body was falling apart. Red colour filtered into my left eye, and I knew it was blood. I began screaming, but no sound came out. I was deaf. I couldn't hear. I could feel my heart pounding as my mind screamed I don't wanna die! I'm not ready to die
"Don't let me die." I gasped to whoever was holding me now. What I didn't know was that it was JC. He was holding me, screaming at me to hold on as Chris dialed 911. My head felt like it was exploding now as I felt different pains in different parts of my body. There was pain all over. Nothing but pain.
Suddenly, it all stopped.
My eyes faded to a grey. I was in my backyard, on my tire swing, and I was giggling.
JC was pushing me as Jordan and her sisters giggled at my feet.
And then I saw him, I heard him. There he was. I could hear his voice, see his eyes. My Father's eyes.
"I don't want to leave them Father."
"Come......." Was all he whispered. I knew that was it. I was already dead on Earth. I felt tears of every kind of emotion cloud my eyes as all the light faded away.
I saw JC. He had tears in his eyes. He was sobbing uncontrollably.
I smiled. "I'm coming."