Cory: Ariel, she's...
Ariel: I know.

Note: This is an older fanfic, written back before I got on the internet.

Ariel: Back when the Net was a safe place to read fanfic...

There has been several

Cory: (Jo Ann) Attempts on my life.

requests for my early work,

Cory: Damnit.

and as this story is the one where I first go to Mainfame and meet Bob and the other Mainfamers,

Ariel: A mistake which we all regret.
Cory: Damn those powers that be! Damn them!

I thought

Cory: Why does she try, everyone knows she can't...
Ariel: Just let the poor girl type.

I'd type it up again, and send it out.

Ariel: Stooooopid!

By-the-way, this story was orginally written in Microsoft's Creative Writer Program. It is being retyped in Mircosoft's WordPad.

Cory: Can I go now?
Ariel: Shut up.

Jo Ann sat at her computer,

Cory: Which overloaded, blew up and killed her. The End.

writing stories in her Creative Writer program.

Both: Damnit!

She typed, corrected, and typed again, the words flowing into a steady rhyrhm, and becoming a story from her mind.

Cory: What?
Ariel: Sh! It's all right.
Cory: She's confusing me.

Jo Ann consulted the spelling checker regularly, and saved often. The Creative Writer was one of her favorite programs.

Little did she know who --and what-- was watching her from inside the computer, itself.

Cory: The FBI watched their prey type happily at the computer.

"Is the User doing it again?" Enzo asked. The small, green sprite looked up into the sky.

Ariel:Undecisive, undefined it.
Cory: For some reason I don't want to know.

"It looks like it," Bob replied. The blue-skinned Guardian watched the sky with his friends.

Ariel: How do they know what the User is doing? Its not as if they can see through the sky into the User world.

"I like it when the User does this!" a little girl binome said, happily.

Cory:(little girl binome) I'm on Prozac!

"No one gets hurt!"

Bob looked down and smiled at the girl. Then, he resumed watching the sky.

Ariel: (Bob) You're not important. I'm waiting for the self-insert who's gonna sleep with me.
Cory:(Matrix) I thought she was suppose to sleep with me?
Ariel:(Bob) No, you have the skank.

"Am I in it yet?" Matrix asked. The green man was the first, original Enzo, before Mainframe crashed and was restored.

Ariel: Why is it that in Jo's fics everybody is always so happy and cheerful and eager to be in the story.
Cory: No one knows, and frankly, no one really wants to find out either.
Ariel: *shudders* Matrix scares me in her fics.

"You are now, Matrix!" laughed Dot, Matrix and Enzo's sister.

Ariel: (Matrix)YES! Finally I got my Fox 4 Kids Club Membership!

"So are you, Dot!" Matrix countered. Then, the Mainframers heard a pig squeal.

Cory:(Dot) Okay, who let Bob out of his kennel?

"What did the User just do?" the little girl asked.

Cory:...
Ariel: Not one word!

"I think the User just saved the story," Dot answered.

Ariel: Ahh, the computer is sensing the stupid fanfic written on it and responding in its own language.

(Author's Note: The Creative Writing program has lots of funny noises when you use the options. The pig squeal is heard when you save something.)

Ariel: Told you.

"What's this story about, anyway?" Enzo asked.

Cory: You know, if I cared about this fic, I would like to know who all is in this scene before they speak.
Ariel: If you cared.
Cory: Exactly.

"You askin' me, sugah?" Mouse replied.

Ariel: (Enzo) No, I'm asking the blue ditz beside you.
Cory: (Bob) Well, Enzo, you see....Hey!

"Who knows what the User's doin'," Wild Card said.

Cory: Wild Card? Who in the Net is Wild Card? Did we miss a story?
Ariel: *flips through her notes* Nope. This is her first story with herself in it.

"I think I know. But I don't know how I know," Amazon said. Ariel: Enter next mysterious, all knowing character who we don't know.

"What is the story about, then" AndrAIa asked.
"Didn't you see the title? 'User Meets Sprites'. The User is writing about her meeting us!"

Ariel: Either that or she really likes soda.

"How do you know that the User is female? Bob asked, giving Amazon a puzzled look.

Cory: (Amazon) Cause I'm better than you.

"I don't know exactly how I know, but the name in the story is a female name: Jo Ann. So, I'm guessing that the User is female."

Ariel: Said...someone.

"What were those funny little pictures?" AndrAIa asked.
"And where did they go?" Enzo added.

Cory:... Ariel: I said NOT a word!

(Me again: There is an option in Creative Writer where that matches words with pictures. I did that while writing this story, just for fun, then undid the action.)

Cory: Thanks Jo, we really needed to know that.
Ariel: If these people live inside her computer, wouldn't they know all about these programs. Even more than she does?
Cory: Not in Jo's mind.

"Never mind that," Dot said. "Did you notice that everything we say is being typed up?"

Ariel: (Enzo) Really? Cool! Watch this. Fuck you, you bitchy User. If you try to get in this damn system we'll bite your legs off! That oughta teach Jo Ann to leave us out of her stories.

"Do you mean we are really being written as part of someone's story?" Bob asked.

Ariel:(Dot) No, Bob. I meant we are. She doesn't like you.

"That's exactly what I mean!" Dot answered.

Cory: Huh? What?
Ariel: Pay attention, numbskull.

"She sure checks her spelling a lot, doesn't she?" Enzo said.

Ariel:(Dot) Saddly, Jo failed third grade English. She has trouble spelling Mainframe, much less alphanumeric.

"A sure sign of someone who like things to look right," Phong replied, joining them.

Cory: *thinking* Okay, so they must be in the Principal's Office if Phong is there.
Ariel: But it says earlier in the story that they could see the sky.
Cory: Jo Ann's confusing me!

"I wish we could meet her," the little girl said.

Cory: Don't worry little Prozac-addicted-child, I'm sure Jo Ann will find time in her busy schedule of making our lives miserable to become a part of Mainframe.

"Don't worry, Tiffiny," said Amazon. "With the title she has on this story, we soon will."

Ariel:... Cory: Don't say it!

It was very late at night.

Ariel: It was so late not even Jerry Springer would not except the time slot!

Jo Ann kept typing on her computer, but she was getting very sleepy.

Cory: Pot always made Jo a sleepy head.

Her head nodded and her eyes closed. Jo Ann fell asleep at her computer.

Cory: She drooled on the keyboard, it electracuted her. She was fried and never made it to Mainframe. The End.
Ariel: STOP that!

Ariel: Whoever created those things should die.
Cory: I know Jo, I know.

Jo Ann awoke with a start.

Ariel: And there off!

She looked around, puzzled. No longer sitting at her computer, she was now sitting on the ground in an incredible city.

Cory: Jo Ann forgot to mention she walked in her sleep.
Ariel: You mean she's a sleep walker.
Cory: *nods* Proven fact, comes from all those nights of righting crappy fanfic.

A city that looked like it was straight out of a cartoon.

Ariel: (Jo Ann) I'm in ACME ACRES!

A computer-animated cartoon.

Cory: Two quesses on where she is, but you'll only need one.

All around Jo Ann was a strange collection of people, each with skin tones straight out of a rainbow.

Cory: (Jo Ann) Who spilt my crayon box?

"Hello," a blue-skinned man said. He smiled as he held out a hand.

Ariel: (Jo Ann) Aren't you going to need that?

Jo Ann took the hand

Ariel: (Jo Ann) I'll keep it in a jar with your name on it, forever.

and the blue man helped her up.
"H...h...h...hi," Jo Ann stammered, nervously. She looked at the blue man closely. "Bob?!?"

Cory: I'm betting she's wrong and its Turbo.
Ariel: Turbo's not blue. He's silverish green.

"Yep!" Bob grinneed. The others came closer to the startled User.

Cory: The pack slowly approached their prey.

"Am I really in Mainframe?" Jo Ann asked.

Ariel: (Bob) No, this is Megaframe. We're all viral and we hate Users. *slashes her head off* The End.
Cory: Now who's getting violent.

"You shore are, sugah!" a purple woman with neon-red hair smiled.

Cory: Poor Mouse, she got dragged into this as well.

"Mouse?!?" The purple woman nodded.

Ariel: (Mouse) Hell no, sugah. My name's Shrew.

"I take it you know everyone else?" Bob asked.

Ariel: (Bob) I mean, you are the almighty Jo Ann and everything.

"Y...y...y...yes." Now, Jo Ann was really nervous. "But, how...?"

Cory: (Bob) How should we know, you're the User.

"We do not know, my child," said Phong.
"Who are the "Kentucky Wildcats'?" Tiffiny asked, looking at Jo Ann's t-shirt.
Ariel: (Tiffany) Why am I caring?

"The basketball team for the University of Kentucky," Amazon answered, before Jo Ann could say anything. Jo Ann eyed the red-armored woman closely.

Ariel: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Cory: No, it couldn't be. Not even Jo Ann would have that much nerve.

"Amazon?!?" she gasped in surprise.
"You know we?" Amazon was just as surprised as Jo Ann.

Cory: We? Is Amazon schizophrenic?
Ariel: (Amazon) No, we are not. We are perfectly insane.

"I should. When I began writing stories about Mainframe and you guys, I decided to get in on the stories --or, at least, pretended to. To become part of the stories, and yet remain an observer, I created the character of Amazon. That's the name I use when I go into chat rooms. You are me!"

*Loud groans of pain*
Both: Double self-insertion!

The Mainframers gasped in amazement and awe. Amazon was not a real User, just a character in Jo Ann's stories.

Ariel: *overly happy* Like, who cares?

"Fake!" a binome cried, staring accusingly at Amazon.

Cory:(binome) You're not the woman I thought you were. And to think I let you--
Ariel: Stop right there!

"What do you mean, 'Fake'?" Jo Ann rose to the defence of her character.

Cory: 'Cause you know everyone listens to an evil User who appears out of nowhere.
Ariel: You better believe it.

"She is a User: Me! She's how I dreamed what I'd be like if I ever visited Mainframe. Don't go around saying that she's a fake, when she's just as real as I am!"

Cory: Witness the motionless story line that is User Meets Sprites.

The binome was taken aback by Jo Ann's anger. He had not meant to upset the User.

Ariel: Now he wouldn't get his cookie!

"What about me?" Wild Card asked. He was as blue-skinned as Bob, with gold hair and a shadow beard.

Cory: So he's Bob and Matrix rolled into one really unlikable character?

"I created you, too, Wild Card," Jo Ann answered, her anger abating.
"Why?" was all Wild Card could say.
"So that Amazon could have a love interest."
"A love interest?" Amazon asked. "Why create one?"

Cory:(Jo Ann) Because I'm the only one who could ever get one by myself.

"The three best eligible guys were already taken, so I had to come up with something." Bob, Matrix, and Ray Tracer looked at each other, slightly blushing. "So, I created a twin brother for Bob."
"Why a twin for me?" Bob asked.

Ariel: (Jo Ann) Because I love you, Bob.

"I wanted a character that seemed like a combination of you and Matrix. I came up with Wild Card."

Ariel:...
Cory: I hate it when I'm right.

"Was it your idea to make me a Guardian Academy drop-out?"

Ariel: Jo Ann nodded with a smile, unaware of Wild Card fingering his gun.

"You didn't drop-out. You...uh...flunked," Jo Ann looked up into the sky, avoiding Wild Card's eyes.
"I what!?!" Wild Card stared in anger at Jo Ann.

Cory: (Wild Card) Of course, since this was my life I should know this.
Ariel: (Amazon) Not in our fic.

"I figured that, if the Guardian Academy was like any other school, there would be sprites that would *ahem!* flunk."

Ariel: Said the System Voice, trying to overide Jo Ann's presence in her system.

"What does 'flunk' mean?" Tiffiny asked.

Cory: Tiffany's real stupid, ain't she?
Ariel: The ideal Jo Ann Montgomery character.

"Do you want to answer her, or should I?" Jo Ann asked Amazon.
"I'll so it," Amazon sighed.

Ariel: Does Jo understand any grammer rules.

To Tiffiny, she said, "'Flunk' means 'fail'. Jo Ann made Wild Card fail the Guardian Academy."
"You made made into a failure?!?" Wild Card raged.

Cory: No.

"You call 5700 captures, no deletions, and no escapes, 'failure'? I only made you fail Guardian training: You're a success as a bounty hunter!" Jo Ann countered.

Cory: (Wild Card) No, I'm not. If I was a success I would have over 8000 by now.
Ariel: 5700? Little much don't you think Jo?

Wild Card stood there with his mouth open, unable to speak. Amazon reached over and closed it for him.

Cory: (Amazon) Close your mouth when your done speaking, young lady-er-man.

"Are you writing that delightful, little Halloween story?" Hexadecimal asked, sweetly.

Ariel: (Hexadecimal) Aren't I so good at changing the subject?
Cory: *confused* When did Hex show up?

"Yes. But I'm sorta stuck. I don't know what to wirte next in it."

Ariel: Said Phong, forgeting that Jo Ann was the main character in this fic.
Cory: Only nanos later, Jo Ann made him into the first sprite/toaster ever.

"And me as Morticia Addams! How wonderfully sweet of you to give me someone I could relate to!"

Cory: Said Phong/Toaster, talking to himself.

"I'm glad you like it. Or would you rather have been Lily Munster? I could still change it, you know."

Ariel: I'm so glad that Jo can just assume we all know who's talking.

"Oh, no. Morticia Addams is fine!"
"Okay, then."
"Who was Mark Anthony and Cleopatra?" Bob asked.
"They go way back --about two-thousand years ago.

Cory: YEARS!
Ariel: Years.

Cleopatra was the last queen of Egypt before it fell to the Romans. Mark Anthony was her fourth husband."

Ariel: *giggling* Uh, Jo, honey. Cleopatra never married Mark Anthony. Cleopatra had an affair with Julius Ceaser who was married to some Roman woman at the time. She slept with Anthony, but never even married a Roman.
Cory: I didn't know that.
Ariel: *in over exagerated Bill Nye voice* Now you know.

"Why did you pick them for our costumes?" Bob asked.

Cory: What are they talking about?
Ariel: I think about some Halloween fic Jo's writing.

"Because they are one of the world's most famous love pairs,

*more childish giggling*
Ariel: She just asumes that all history follows her thoughts, doesn't she?
Cory: You expected less?

because the only other pair of lovers I could think of was Romeo and Juliet --and they ended up killing themselves--, and because I like Cleopatra."
"Do you play computer games?" AndrAIa asked. All the Mainframers were interested in learning the answer.

Ariel: (Jo Ann) Only the really nasty violent ones. Why?

"Some. But I'm more into writing stories."
"Oh," AndrAIa replied. The Mainframers breathed a sigh of relief at Jo Ann's answer.

Ariel: Mistake!
Cory: We are sure she meant sigh of frustration. Now they would have to find some other reason to kill her.

"Bob, is it true about the Guardians and Deamon?" Jo Ann asked, concern in her voice.
"I'm afraid so," Bob replied, sadly.

Ariel: (Bob) I'm really sad about this and all, but now you're here, so everything's peachy keen.

"But Jo Ann could save them," Tiffiny said.

Cory: (Jo Ann) Of course I could.
Ariel: (Bob) Then why don't you?
Cory: (Jo Ann) And not be able to write about me visting you people for no appropriate reason. I don't think so.

"She could write in her stories that the Guardians were cured."
"Could you?" Bob asked, hopefully. All eyes were on the visiting User.

Ariel: Jo Ann smiled smugly and nodded.

"Before I answer that, I need to ask you something: Are you aware that you --with the exception of Wild Card and Amazon-- are characters in a T.V. show?"

Ariel: (Phong) Of course, my child. We are all psychic. Plus if you tip Mike slightly towards the Tor, we get YTV.

"Yes. That is something that we have known since Mainframe was created," Phong said.

Ariel: Crap! I hate when that happens.

"But what has that got ta do with helpin' the Guardians?" Mouse asked.

Cory: (Bob) Where did you come from?
Ariel: (Mouse) Ah had one line uh couple a pages ago.
Cory: *ahem*
Ariel: Sugah.

"Because, only the writers of the show can make curing the Guardians of Deamon 'official'. I could write in my stories that they were cured --heck, in one of my crossovers, I have--, but it wouldn't be valid. Only the writers of the show could do that, and have it really happen."

Ariel: (Bob) I thought you could do anything!
Cory: (Jo Ann) *kills Bob*

"Jo Ann," Amazon began, "Wild Card and I -- we are not 'official', are we?"

Cory: (Jo Ann) Only in my mind.

"No..."
"Yet, we exist here, in this Mainframe," Amazon went on.
'"True..."

Ariel: (Jo Ann) How dare you be right!

"What Amazon is tryin' to say is, this is not the 'official' Mainframe. It's your Mainframe, the Mainframe of your stories," Wild Card added.

Ariel: (Jo Ann) Good, Wild Card. You get a cookie.

"That means you can save the Guardians, if only in your stories," Bob said.
"I could, couldn't I. But how?" Bob and the others just shrugged.
"It's up to you," Matrix said.

Cory:(Bob) Where did you come from?
Ariel: (Matrix) *shrug*

"Why don't you do it now?" Tiffiny asked.
"Yeah!" agreed Enzo. "Why don't you save the Guardians yourself!" The Mainframers began murmuring excitedly, begging Jo Ann to save the Guardians from Deamon.

Ariel: Cory, where did all these charcters suddenly appear?
Cory: Don't ask me, I didn't write this.

"Okay. But first, I need to know what I can do in Mainframe." Jo Ann thought for a moment, then moved to a clear space. Concentrating for a moment, she suddenly snapped her fingers.

Ariel: The band begun to play a jazzed up version of "Alphanumeric".

To the amazement of the Mainframers, a beautiful white horse appeared before them. But it was no ordinary horse.

Cory: No. It was Jo Ann. She had turned herseld into an equine! The End.

This horse had large, white eagle-like wings. It reared and bucked, obviously frightened of its strange surroundings.

Ariel: (Pegasus) No! A double self-insertion! Where are my lawyers?

"Easy, Pegasus; no one's going to hurt you," Jo Ann spoke softly to the magnificent animal. Concentrating on her closed hand, Jo Ann held it out to Pegasus. Slowly, shw openned her hand, revealing three sugar cubes. Pegasus nibbled at them, nuzzling her hand as he did so.

Cory: (Pegasus, eyes glazing over) Sugah!

"Impressive," said a voice that was not one of the Mainframers. "But can you conjure something to save Mainframe from us?"

Ariel: Enter really bad guy.

"Turbo!" Bob cried.

Ariel: Told you.

"And the other Guardians!" Matrix added.

Cory: All two billion of them? It must be getting cramped in Mainframe.

He had his gun in his hand in an instant. Wild Card, too, had his gun out. AndrAIa joined them, her trident in her hand. Mouse, her swords out and ready, moved to join them, with Amazon a step behind her.

Ariel: (Jo Ann) Don't worry guys, I can handle this.

The Guardians that they were looking at looked like zombies out of a 1950's horror movie. Their colors had faded to black, white, and gray. Only their eyes showed another color, glowing bright red. Their uniforms were torn and ragged, hanging off their bodies like shrouds.

Cory: *yawn*
Ariel: But look, its a horror movie!
Cory:...*yawn*

"Wow! Deamon

Ariel: Staring Daemon's pokemon twin, Deamon. The not-so-supervirus.

did a real number of them, didn't she?" Jo Ann exclaimed.

Ariel: (Bob) No, that's how they look when they just wake up.

"Uh...Jo Ann: That cure would really come in handy right about now," Wild Card said, looking over to the User.

Both: *yawn*

"There is nothing your User can do to save you!" The being that was Turbo/Deamon snarled.

Cory: Wait a nano! How did Turbo become Daemon?
Ariel: PLOT HOLE!

"Don't count me out yet, Deamon!" Jo Ann waved her hands, weaving an energy cage around the infected Guardians. "That should hold them," she said, "Now for the tough part; curing them."

Cory: (Jo Ann, pulls out a bottle of pills) Have them each take two of these and call me in the morning.

"You can not cure the Guardians!" Deamon's voice came from out of Turbo. Just three more, and the Guardians will all be mine!" Turbo/Deamon reached out a hand, as it to touch Bob, Matrix, and Wild Card.

Ariel: Jo, there is a reason why they have grammer schools out there.

"Don't bet on it, Deamon!" Jo Ann answered. "All I really need to do is concoct an incantation to drive you out of the Guardians. And have I got a real doozy!" She folded her hands and, with her eyes closed, concentrated. Then, she began to recite a spell.

Ariel: Enter stupid, sappy, real powerful magic spell.

"Powers of good, hear me; come to my call, help me drive out the evil that inhabits these defenders of right!"

Ariel: Damnit!
Cory: Its not over yet.

As Jo Ann called upon the powerful elements of good, colored lights swarmed to her hands, forming a ball of magic dust. As the magic was gathered, Jo Ann separated her hands to contain the glittering particles.

*Ariel begins hitting head on table, hard. Blood pours from her forehead*
Cory: *winces* Are you sure that's a good idea?

"From the sun, I call the golden light of truth; from the stars, with white light of justice. From the planets, the rainbow lights of strength and hope; from the deepest sea, the blue light of healing. From the lushest rainforest, the green light of knowledge; from the highest mountain, the ice-blue light of puruty. From the moon, the silver light of bravery; from the animals of the world, the bronze light of wisdom. And from the people of Mainframe, the soft light of love, for love is more powerful than evil. Mix well, these elements of good and right, to form the cure to save the Guardians from Deamon's blight!"

Ariel: *groggily* Is it over yet?
Cory: *nods* Well, the spell chanting part anyway.

The ball of magic dust swirled in her hands, the colored lights moving in patterns like the colors of a soap bubble. Slowly, Jo Ann approached the cage that held the Guardians.

Ariel: (guardian) Keep it away!

Pausing within touching distance of Turbo, Jo Ann blew the ball of magic dust into the cage . Not one Guardian escaped the cloud of magic. Then the User stepped back to wait out Deamon as the lights drove her out of the Guardians.

Cory: Poor Deamon, she went through all that trouble to enslave the guardian to be beaten by a teenage fanfic writer!

First, the Guardians regained their old colors. Then, their torn uniforms repaired themselves, as if being sewn by invisible tailors.

Ariel: (Tiffany) Look, Jo Ann can sew too!

Lastly, the red glow faded from their eyes, replaced by their true eye colors. Overhead, a dark cloud formed, shaping itself into a hideous, deformed monster. "You have cost me the Guarians, User!" Deamon hissed.

Cory: I believe she also cost you the Guardians.
Ariel: So we've been hearing.

"But I can still infect you!" The super-virus swooped down toward Jo Ann.

Ariel: Don't do it! She's got coodies!

"Dream on, Bozo Bit!"

Cory: Bozo Bit? Come on, Jo, couldn't think of anything stronger than that.

Jo Ann rasied her left hand, which began to glow with a blue-white light. She slashed down, forming a light bow. Pulling on the bowstring, Jo Ann aimed a silver arrow at Deamon.

Ariel: *loud groan* Can this get any worse?

"Arrow of Artemis, goddess of the hunt, fly swift and true!" she cried, releasing the arrow. The silver shaft, tipped with a head of clearest crystal, flew straight and true. In nanoseconds, the arrow had found its mark, striking Deamon in the heart of the evil cloud.

Cory: NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Deamon howled in pain as the shaft did its work. The magic in the arrow spread all over the virus, the good destroying the evil. Within microseconds, it was over. Deamon was gone for good, destroyed by the good of the universe. Only one thing remained to be done.

Cory: *snif*
Ariel: We knew it was coming...
Cory: *sob*

Snapping her fingers,

Cory: *hopefully* Daemon reappeared and killed Jo. The End.

Jo Ann made the cage holding the Guardians disappear.

Cory: *Weep*

Guardians and Mainframers mingled joyfully, celebrating the victory over the super-virus. Jo Ann leaned wearily in Bob and Matrix's arms.

Ariel: *snicker*
Cory:*looks up* I thought they were 'taken'
Ariel: *snicker*

Turbo made his way to where Jo Ann was. The large sprite, his mere presence commanding attecntion, drew Guardians and Mainframers alike to the heroine of the millisecond, who rested in the arms of two strong Guardians.

Ariel: Don't Dot and Andy have any say in this?

"Ma'am, what ya'll have done this second has no equal in the history of all tha systems. There is not enough gratitude in all tha systems of tha world ta thank ya for what ya have done for us." Turbo gallantly took her hand and, bending forward while raising the hand, kissed it.

Cory:(Jo Ann) Wel, duh!

"I'm happy I could help," Jo Ann said wearily. "But you do realize that you are only cured in my stories, don't you? In the 'official" stories that appear on T.V., you and the Guardians are still infected by Deamon."

Ariel: Or Daemon, depending on if your actually watching the show or not.

"Ah know. But here, in tha Mainframe of yore makin', Deamon is defeated an' tha Guardians are free of her, at last. That is reason enough to celebrate."

Cory: NOOOOO! Another pointless section. Someone kill Jo Ann!
Ariel: Calm down! Good boy.

"Right. But first, I need a rest! Conjuring magical cures for computer viruses is exhausting work!"
"Right. But first, I need a rest! Conjuring magical cures for computer viruses is exhausting work!"

Cory:(Jo Ann) I'm lying you know, I'm actually planning to go have a threesome with these two big, strong guardians...Did I say that out loud.

Guardians and Mainframers laughed, agreeing that their User needed a rest before the big celebration that night.

Ariel:...
Cory: Just don't.

The park was decorated for the victory party. All of the people of Mainframe was there, as well as the Guardians. Even Matrix and Wild Card were dressed up for the occasion, although they felt conspicous and out of place. Dot wore the red gown she wore for Matrix's birthday so very long ago.

Ariel: For all you writers who put Dot in that same old dress with no real reason to? What the hell? Goddamn you. That thing is hours old. Put her in something she picked up while she was being left out of a scene for godsakes!

Bob wore his chrome armor, sprinkled with gold glitter. All awaited for the arrival of the guest of honor.

Cory: *shudder*
Ariel: FEATHERS!

Finally, Jo Ann arrived. The guests stared in awe as she came to stand by Turbo. The Prime Guardian took her hand and led her into full view of the Guardians and the Mainframers.

*Ariel feels queasy*
Ariel: I don't feel so good...

Jo Ann was dressed in a long, Greek chiton, white, shot through with gold threads that caused the dress to shimmer in the light of the street lamps. A Guardian icon held the dress in place on her right shoulder. Greek sandals, tall and gold, were on her feet. In her short hair, resting on her head, was golden, Greek crown.

Cory: (Jo Ann) See! I am queen.

A gold necklace, gold earrings, bracelets, armsbands, and rings adorned her body, glittering in the light. A wide, gold belt helf the chiton close to her body. She wore little make-up: Gold eyeshadow on her eyelids, a little blush on her cheeks, and glittering red lipstick. She presented a dazzling figure to the Mainframers and Guardians.

*Ariel finally gives into the urge and hurls*
Cory: Look, Ariel had macaroni for lunch!

"You look like a queen, Jo Ann," Wild Card said.

Cory: (Jo Ann) I am one. (Normal voice) Are you okay?
*more hurling sounds.*
Cory: Nevermind.

"She sure does!" Bob agreed. The others at the party nodded their agreement.
"Thanks, guys," she blushed. "Well, let's get this party going!" She snapped her fingers. From out of the air, there came the song, "Everybody Rejoice", from "The Wiz", complete with lyrics.

*Cory also feels suddenly queazy*
Cory: END IT! JUST END IT!

"I thought that it would be appropriate, given the occation," Jo Ann smiled at her Mainframe friends. Turbo and the others laughed, agreeing that the the song was indeed appropriate.

*Ariel sits back up, feeling slightly better*
Ariel: I'm never doing this again!

The party lasted long into the night. Enzo has fun retelling the epic battle of the User versus Deamon. Jo Ann got to dance with --and even kiss-- Bob, Matrix, Ray, Wild Card, and Turbo. She reminded Bob, Matrix, Ray and Wild Card that they were already taken, so only one dance and kiss from each was enough. Dot, AndrAIa, and Mouse looked at Jo Ann gratefully, but Amazon only smiled.

Ariel: She was laughing over the fact that all the girls were making their 'men' go and wash their mouths out with soap.

"I am you in this Mainframe. You have as much right to Wild Card as I do," she said.

Cory:(Amazon) I'm serious. Take him. Please!

"Thank you," Jo Ann smiled back.

The next second, Jo Ann prepared to return home.

Ariel: Jo Ann had no idea the size of the party they were throwing that night.

All she had to do was write herself home in the story. All the Guardians and the Mainframers were there to say good-bye.
"Here's the icon back, Turbo. Thanks for letting me use it for my dress last night." Jo Ann held out the gold and black disc.

Cory: (Jo Ann) I spilt some juice on it, I hope you don't mind.

"Ya'll keep it, Hon," Turbo pushed her hand back. He smiled at her. "You've earned it."

Ariel: (Turbo, thinking) Its got coodies! (Normal Voice) 'Y'all?' Is Jo Ann schizophrenic too?

"He's right," Bob said. "Without you, Deamon would still have control of the Guardians."
"Yeah!" Matrix added. "You guarded the Guardians!" Everyone laughed, happy that all was right again.

Cory: What's so funny?
Ariel: *squints at the screen* I don't know. I think we missed it.

"Will you ever be back?" Tiffiny asked.

Ariel: (Tiffany, thinking) Please say no, please say no, please say no...

"Of course I will! All I have to do is write myself into the story, and I'll be here. I'll visist as often as I can," Jo Ann hugged the little one binome.

Ariel:(Tiffany, thinking) Damnit!

"Promice?"

Cory: To get your spell checker fixed.

Enzo asked. The little, green sprite looked into her eyes.
"Guardian's honor, Enzo!" she smiled. "I'd better get going. Good-bye, everyone. And thanks."

Ariel: Who made her a guardian?

"You are always welcome in Mainframe, Jo Ann," Dot replied.
"Thanks, Dot. Well, here goes." Jo Ann waved to the Mainframers and Guardians as she faded away.

Both: (all of Mainframe) *sighs of relief*

Jo Ann woke up, still at her computer. Across a black screen, blue lettering scrolled by, proclaiming:

Ariel: Get the hell away from me!

Cory: Huh?

"Oh, my screen saver!" Jo Ann moved the mouse. The slight movement was all it took to get Creative Writer back. On the screen, the story was finished. It was too late at night to print the story out, but Jo Ann checked the spelling one final time, then saved the story.

Cory: A scream of terror rose from inside the computer as it rejected the document.

"I'll print tomorrow. Then I have to take the story off the computer to make room for another story. Too bad it was only a dream. I would have really liked to have traveled to Mainframe and meet Bob and the others."

Ariel: *fingers crossed* Please let it be true, please let it be true...

Jo Ann looked down at an object in her hand. It was a disk, half gold and half black. Each half had a triangle: A gold triangle on the black half, and a black triangle on the gold half.
The icon of the Guardians in ReBoot!

Ariel: Damnit!

"Could it be...?" she asked in wonder. "Did I really...?" She held the icon, then brought it to her lips, kissing it. Then, she clutched it to her heart.

Cory: My new boyfriend!

"I'd better not tell anyone, though. They might just lock me up!"

Ariel: Go ahead, Jo, tell someone.

Jo Ann carried the icon with her to her room, vowing to wear it every time she visited Mainframe. She had a tremendous idea for further visits.
"What if I merged with Amazon every time I visited. She would have more powers while I'm there. But I'd better warn them first!"

Cory: Give me a break!

With that, she went to bed, dreaming of another trip to Mainframe.
And you know there were other trips!

Both: Yeah!!!

(But who are we kidding? "The End"? Not!)

Both: *screams of terror* NOOOO!

Afterwords: Okay, so I made myself the heroine and saved everybody from Deamon.

Ariel: Really? We couldn't tell.

It's how I dreamed it. And isn't it every fan-fic writer's fantacy to help their favorite characters?

Cory: No, sometimes I want to kill them.

At least, I didn't make myself all-powerful, like most fan-fic writers would.

*stale laughter*
Ariel: Good one, Jo.

(I DID get weak after using my "User Magic" to free the Guardians and destroy Deamon.)

Cory: So weak.

This is my first self-insertion fic. The second, "Return to Mainframe", which tells how I became a Guardian, is rewritten as "User Guardian One", up on several sites, including Julia-Cat's ReBoot Corner.

Ariel: Poor Julia, poor, poor Julia. *looks up* Well that wraps up our MiSTing. Now, Cory can you point out one good thing and one bad thing about it?

Cory: Bad thing: Jo made everyone way to much like a fifteen year old girl. Good thing: it wasn't an ICQ fic.

Ariel: Good job. You get a cookie. Now, Bad thing: Jo made herself all powerful and defeated Deamon with a bow and arrow. Good thing: It could have been hentai.

Cory: There you have it.

"User Meets Sprites" Written By: Jo Ann Montgomery
MiSTed by: Ariel and Cory
MiSTing concept by Best Brains Inc.
Misting of ReBoot fanfic concept of Phillip LYNX and Zen Zenith

"Right. But first, I need a rest! Conjuring magical cures for computer viruses is exhausting work!"

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