The Revenge Fic

It was a beautiful day in Mainframe, as it usually does because if it rains everybody short circuits from all the technology in the city. Everyone’s favorite User Guardian and her husband were having a nice quiet picnic in Floating Point Park. Why? Because that’s they only place fic authors will let you go.

Matrix (CM) sat on a bench a little while away holding his adopted daughter, Crystal Matrix. She was actually a User that had dropped from the sky during one of Jo Ann Montgomery’s stories, but that isn’t important.

Hexadecimal, holding her own child sat next to Matrix(CM). Since David Fullman did not give us a name for Hexadecimal’s baby we shall call her...Joan. Yes, Joan. All right now let’s get on with the story.

“I wonder where AndrAIa is.” Matrix(CM) mumbled as he smiled at his daughter.

“Oh, she probably just forgot the time.” Hexadecimal said with a smile to her own daughter.

“No, that can’t be. AndrAIa’s entire existence is dedicated to me and Crystal. She would never forget the time.” Matrix(CM) responded as Hex shot him a sympathetic look.

Jo Ann, using her super User hearing, heard this conversation and rushed over.

“Did you say that AndrAIa is missing?” She asked hurriedly as she glanced at the two who sat on the bench.

“Well, not really, but now that you mention it...” Matrix(CM) trailed off in thought, for in all of Jo Ann’s stories, Matrix could think and he still marveled at the ability.

“Okay, then. I’ll just use my gold and jeweled keytool , Pixel here to find here.” Jo Ann replied with a look that said ‘I’m better than you.” She lifted her arm where her keytool rested. “Pixel scan for AndrAIa.”

{Fuck you, Jo Ann.} Beeped the keytool.

Jo Ann’s eyes widened. How could this be? She was User Guardian One, Jo Ann Montgomery and this inferior keytool would not head her words?

She cleared her throat and tried again. “Pixel scan for AndrAIa.”

{Make me.} Beeped the keytool. {Why don’t you get off your User Guardian ASCII and go find her yourself?}

“Well, I never!” She shouted at her keytool.

{Byte me.} Responded the keytool.

Hexadecimal shrugged at Matrix(CM) and sighed happily as she glanced down at her baby.

“Maybe she’s at Bob’s.” Hex said absently.

“Why would she be at Bob’s?” Matrix (CM) asked quietly. “She worships me.”

He got up, cradling the baby carefully. Crystal giggled up at him.

[You are mine, renegade.] Thought the User baby to herself. [I own you. Bow before me!]

Not being able to read the baby’s thoughts, Matrix (CM) only smiled at the child.

[How disappointing.] The baby thought as Matrix(CM) slowly got on his zipboard and flew over to Bob’s apartment.
* * *

Phong sat before his vid-windows in the Principle Office. On the screen in front of him lay Bob and AndrAIa. He smiled to himself as AndrAIa slowly awakened.

“Did you sleep well, my child?” Phong asked the vid-window and then giggled slightly to himself. Bob and AndrAIa had given him quite a show the night before.

Phong turned to pick up the disk he had taped it on. It would go well with his collection. He enjoyed spying on the sprites when they were in bed. Bob was his favorite.

He was very good at the naked pretzel.
* * *

Matrix (CM) arrived at Bob’s apartment to find Bob knocking at his own door.

“Uh, hi Bob.” Matrix (CM) said, cradling Crystal carefully.

“Hi.” Bob said blandly and pounded on his door once again. “Let me in!”

“Who’s in your apartment Bob?” Asked Matrix(CM) carefully.

“Bob and AndrAIa.” Bob said and smiled at Matrix(CM)’s confused look. Matrix(CM) was constantly confused. “You, see in this fic there’s two of me. There’s two of you also.” Bob explained and continued pounding on his door.

The door flung open. AndrAIa stood there in Bob’s robe, her blue-green hair ruffled.

“AndrAIa!” Matrix(CM) said on a gasp, cradling Crystal carefully. “What have you been doing?”

“Well, I just slept with Bob, but you’re not suppose to know because Bob and I just promised not to tell.” AndrAIa said with a smile.

Matrix(CM) gasped as he heard a voice from behind him.

“Gun...Command Line...Targeting.” A cold voice said from behind.

Matrix(CM) spun around to see normal Matrix standing behind him.

“You piece of mush!” Yelled the normal Matrix. “In Crystal Matrix you made me look like a ninny!”

“Th-that was Jo Ann’s f-fault not m-mine!” Matrix(CM) stuttered.

“Too bad.” Matrix snarled and pulled the trigger. A hole appeared in Matrix(CM)’s head and he fell to the ground and disappeared.

[Damn! There goes one of my minions.] Thought Crystal in disappointment.

Matrix took a few steps and picked up Crystal off the ground. He stuck her under his arm, foot ball style and nodded to Bob.

“Bob.”

“Matrix.”

Matrix rushed past AndrAIa and Bob into Bob’s apartment. There he found Bob(MA), wearing black boxer and nothing else. Everything pauses and Evil Demoness walks onto the stage.

“Okay, I’m pausing here to take a minute and view Bob with only boxers on, kay?” Evil Demoness sighs as she looks at Bob(MA) for a few moments and then walks off stage as everything resumes.

“Bob, I wanted to be you for a long time.” Matrix started as he aimed Gun at Bob(MA)’s naked chest. “But you just slept with my girlfriend and I’m pissed.”

“Look can we talk-” Bob(MA) was interrupted as Matrix shot a hole in Bob(MA)’s naked chest and he got erased.

Matrix looked down at Crystal.

[You will now worship me!] The baby thought to herself.

“Evil Demoness has plans for you.” He said as he glared at the child.

[Oh, shit.]
* * *

Meanwhile in Floating Point Park , Jo Ann still fought with her keytool while her husband, Wild Card who also happened to be Bob’s twin brother, laughed behind his hand. A sound from above made him look up.

A girl appeared above them. So everyone knows this is Miyu, vampire princess. Miyu is very beautiful and talented. She was also written by Jo Ann Montgomery. Go figure.

Now, Miyu only speaks Japanese, so no one in Mainframe can understand her except Bob. But you get to.

Jo Ann looked up from her keytool. “Who are you, mortal?”

[I am Miyu, vampire princess and slayer of Daemon] Said the girl with a smug smile.

“Huh?” Jo Ann said confused. “What did you just say.”

[I said that I am Miyu, vampire princess and slayer of Daemon. Bow to me!]> She shouted in her native tongue.

“I do not care who you are mortal, bow to me!” Jo Ann commanded.

[When Hell freezes over you bitch.] Miyu shouted from where she floated. [I can make a tiny flame appear and toast your ass!]

“You better have not just called me what I think you called me, mortal!” Jo Ann yelled to the floating child.

[Stop calling me ‘mortal’ like your some goddess or something!] Miyu told her.

Frisket sat nearby. He watched the two fight. [How did I get in this fanfic?] He thought to himself as he watched the two fight.

Dot walked into Floating Point Park and looked at the two fighting. One of them shouted in a strange language she couldn’t understand, but they other shouted in DOS.

Dot walked up to Jo Ann.

“What in the Net are you doing?” She shouted to get Jo Ann’s attention.

“I am telling this mortal to bow to me as you should be doing, mortal.” Jo Ann snarled.

Dot’s eyes widened this wasn’t her beloved Jo Ann, User Guardian One, Destroyer of Daemon, Resurrector of People, Restorer of the Nulls and all around nice girl. This was the real Jo Ann. Power hungry and insane.

“Don’t you ever speak to me like that!” Dot yelled as she slapped Jo Ann.

Jo Ann went for the throat. Miyu, still hovering giggled as she watched the strange women fight. Then there was a sound like an automatic machine gun. Miyu turned to see several Soldier bugs run out of the bushes followed by a one binome with a huge, nasty looking weapon.

Dot broke Jo Ann’s neck and she fell limp.

{Hurry! I am free of that bitch!} Beeped a very happy Pixel.

Dot looked up to see Lieutenant Dos run towards them, gun blazing. As Wild Card screamed in anguish as he looked at Jo Ann’s lifeless corpse. He didn’t scream very long, a Soldier bug jumped on the hurting guardian and began to eat him. Bye-bye Wild Card.

Miyu smiled as she watched the violence rage below her. Her happiness lasted about as long as Wild Card’s anguish as one of Dos’ bullets hit her square between the eyes. She died instantly, dropping to the ground like a stone and making a sickening crunch noise.

[How did I get in this fic?] Frisket asked himself as he watch the violence rage on before him.

Phong (RL), who had joined Hexadecimal on the bench, smiled at Hex and the baby Joan who had begun to cry.

[You people scare me!] Thought baby Joan.

“It is all right, my child. You are safe.” Phong (RL) said as Hex handed him the baby.

“Well, except that people are dying all around us.” Hex added with a sweet smile to the baby.

“You do have a point, my dear.” Phong (RL) said to Hex.

They heard a soft growl from the bushes next to them.

“What is that, Phong?” Hex asked quietly. “I’m scared.”

“It is just Jo Ann’s Totems. They are very mad that we did not kill the bitch earlier so they are going to eat us now.” Phong (RL) said as he set the baby on the bench.

“Oh.” Hex said normally as six Totem Animals came out of the bushes and attacked Phong and Hexadecimal. Joan giggled happily.

[Yes, I’m a sick and twisted child. But what did you expect? My uncle is also my Daddy. Don’t blame it on me.]

[How did I get in this fanfic?] Thought Frisket with a low growl.

The Totems rose from the mass of mutilated energy which used to be Hex and Phong. They slowly approached Dot. She smiled and offered a hand for them to smell as they attacked her.

Dos turned and began shooting at them. He killed all six Totems and Dot. As he surveyed his work. he shrugged and a Soldier Bug attacked him from behind.

* * *

Matrix entered the P.O. and headed straight for Phong. Who was watching another one of his movies he had taped.

“Phong, you are sick and I cannot believe anyone would write you this way.” Said Matrix in disgust.

“What did you say, my child?” Phong asked absently as he looked up.

“I said, oh nevermind. Screw the script.” Matrix drew his gun and shot Phong. Looking very proud of himself he exited the P.O.

* * *

“You made Matrix kill me, you bitch.” Screamed a slightly drunk Bob as he pulled a knife on AndrAIa.

“Now, Bob. Calm down.” AndrAIa said, in her ditzy way she forgot that she had paralyzing nails she could shoot at him.

“No!” He shouted as he jumped at her and repeatedly shoved the knife into her flesh. She gasped once and erased as Matrix walked in.

“Oh, dammit. Now I have to kill you to Bob.” Matrix said with a sigh as he shot a hole in Bob’s not naked chest.

Bob sighed as he erased.

* * *

“Now you hold these Matrix.” Evil Demoness said as she gave the dimwitted man the babies.

She kneeled down and swiftly tide the 50 LB weight to his foot and took out the duct tape. She slowly began wrapping his legs.

“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” Asked Matrix nervously watching her start to tape his stomach.

“Of course.

She taped over both Joan and Crystal. When she was finished Matrix was covered in duct tape from neck to ankles holding two babies. One of them started to cry.

“How are you going to get them out?” He asked carefully.

“We’re not.” She said and smiled at him. She held gun in her right hand as she pushed Matrix into the Energy Sea. He sunk to the bottom and died.

Jo Ann stood up.

“You didn’t think I would die so easily, did you mortal?” She asked loudly.

Evil Demoness sighed deeply and shot Jo Ann, deleting her.

Evil Demoness smiled evilly.

* * *

Well. That was my revenge. I stole your stupid characters and I killed them all. Byte me. I would like to thank all the authors who gave me these characters to work with.

Jo Ann Montgomery for Crystal Matrix, Matrix (CM), Jo Ann, Wild Card, Pixel, Miyu, and those wacky Totems.

Dark Tigress for that really sick Phong. Nummy! Thanks, hun.

David Fullman for Phong (RL), Hexadecimal and baby Joan.

Thank you RoeBoot for Lieutenant Dos and those Soldier Bugs. We enjoyed them immensely.

For some author who calls herself Mouse for Frisket this evening. The only character I left living.

Thank you to another author called AndrAIa for Bob and AndrAIa in A Morning After.

And I would like to thank Mainframe Ent. for the REAL Matrix and for creating ReBoot.

And I once again dedicate this Julia-Cat, Hanako Breithaupt, Claire and Bob.

And to all you fanfic authors that made these characters: Screw You!

Contact Evil Demoness