Past Fits

This is the place where I put all my past Fits of the Moment. Enjoy.

Turbo's Relationship with Bob

Okay, people, listen here. I got no problem with people going off on Bob's got a connection with Turbo theme. No problem at all. My problem with is those people who put Turbo into too close a relationship with Bob. Don't you think that if they were that close that Turbo would have put up a little more a fight about blowing up Mainframe? Oh, come on. He's not gonna sigh and shake his head. Thinking about this Turbo is NONE of these:
Bob's Brother
Bob's Father
Bob's Ex-lover
Bob's Current Lover
Bob's Best Buddy
Dot's Father
Dot's Brother
Bob's Sister's Boyfriend

Do we get it? Okay now here is a list of things he could be. Listen closely.
Bob's Academy Buddy
Bob's Cousin
Bob's Uncle
Bob's Teacher
Dot's Uncle
Dot's Cousin

I am SO tired of people making him Bob's brother who is torn apart by agony that he killed his brother. Or Bob's dad who's feeling just like his brother I just described. You people who make Bob's ex/current lover sicken me. That's not only retarded, but STUPID! Gots it? Good.

Sprite Genetics Ahem...I kind of accidentally erased this one. Well, sorry. *akward cough*

You

You've all heard this one before, maybe not from me, but from someone. This is a very basic and ever continuing argument. The argument: YOU SUCK!

I came to this conclusion just lately as I read some of your stories in various archives all over the Net. I studied this for several hours and finally came up with the theory that some, if not the majority, of ReBoot fanfic writers suck. I proved this theory over and over again by reading your crappy stories with your fucked up story lines.

As a writer myself, I know that some comments about your work can hurt. Before I learned three simple words a lot of comments made me want to rip my work into tiny pieces. These three words are:

Suck It Up

If you people are brave enough to post your goddamn work on the Net than deal with the flames. I don't care how nice of a person you are in real life. Chances are somewhere, someone isn't going to like your chicken scratch. Now, if everyone would just except this than wouldn't the Net be such a nicer place? Wouldn't it?

I'm not saying that I think that you're all a buch of whipped wiseasses. I'm saying that some of you are not mature enough to handle posting your work on the Net.

For example, a story in my Archive of All Time Suckiness was posted without the permission of the author. (In fact, a lot of them were.) This story was asked about but I got no reply from the author until yesturday. They said I could if I give them my URL. As soon as this nameless author sees where it is then I'm guessing they will want me to take it down. I'll respect their wishes. But that's a little immature, dontcha think? I'm entitled to my opinion just like you are and the funny thing about owning a web page is: YOU CAN'T STOP ME!

Piece of Shit Disclaimers

Okay, lets have a talk. Today's topic=Piece of shit diclaimers. Now the ones that go like this (look below) are okay.

"The characters, Mainframe, and anything associated with them belong to Mainframe Ent. and I am not getting paid for this story whatsoever. I wrote this purely for recreational purposes and if you sue me all you'll get is blah, blah, blah etc..."

Okay? You get the idea. Anyway, what I'm tired of is disclaimer like this one:

"Bob, Dot, Matrix, etc... belong to Mainframe Ent. But the others are my original characters don't take them or all do something really nasty that I'm being deliberatly vague about because I'm not sure yet but it'll be nasty."

PEOPLE! Get this through your thick as concrete skulls. They do not BELONG to you an you have no right to say "I can use Mainframne Ent.'s characters but you can't use mine. Technically, since none have you have asked permission I would say they belong to Mainframe Ent. because Mainframe, Sprites, Binomes...etc belong to them. So all I have to say is eat shit and live.

And then after you are done eating shit you'll just have to face the facts that with the exception of my dear friend Evil Demoness no one wants your fucked up characters. So live. Or die. I don't give a crap.

Suspense and Ways to Avoid It

"She walked slowly through the hallway. It was dark, except that a dim light was glowing at the far end. Dot gulped staring at the light. It arose in her a sense of curiousity, but with that came fear. It seemed to be growing brighter as she approached. A scream arose in her throat as she stared at it. Her mind went blank and her palms were sweaty."

By this point you should be running out of descriptions to hold out the scene. Good, now I'll show you what you should avoid so far in this writing.

A little suspense is always good. But when you have a couple paragraphs describing the fear the person feels, your going a little far. By this point in the snippet above I would be sick and tired of it and would end up skimming. Now, I guess everything would be okay if you left the snippet like it is, if you ended the descriptions right there and told what it was.

Now, I guess you can slide by with something like that. But, my main focus today is, drawing out scenes. I have read fanfics in which there has been several paragraphs to a couple pages of introduction, just introductions and worthless scenes. (You people know who you are.) This is a little excessive. I can do it in less than two paragraphs. Watch.

"Bob this is Annabelle, Guardian 45908. She had amazing powers. Annabelle, this is Glitch-Bob, Guardian 452. He has amazing powers."

Both sprites replied with mumbled "Hi"s and a slight reddening of their cheeks.

Isn't it amazing? That wasn't hard now was it. I hoped you all learned a lesson today. I could go on for ever with this. But I think you all get my point.