The life of Randy Pendleton...things you have to know, things you wanna know, things you shouldn't know, things you really don't wanna know, things you wouldn't care to know even if you had a gun pressed against your temple...
"Who in the hell are you, anyway?" is probably what you're thinking right now. Don't worry, I tend to forget who the hell I am myself. So, in order for me to answer your questions (and so I won't forget any of this myself), I'm gonna waste this page telling you all my status. Your burning questions will soon be ansewred!
My:
- Name: Randy Lee Pendleton
- Birth Place: I came from my mom's stomach
- Address: Yeah, right! Like I'm just gonna tell it to you?! Quit eating the pills and get with the program!
- City: Why should I tell you?!! Why do you wanna know!? Why? C'mon, tell me! Why? Why?!!?!
I'm afraid of Americans...
- State: Ohio - Gotta problem with that?
- Birthdate: February 1, 1983 (I'm 21 if the cops ask - Just lie for me)
- Zodiac Sign: Aquarius
And while I'm at it, my birth stone is amethyst
- Sex: Yes, thank you...
- Height: 6'0" (the other thing? Never had a yardstick to measure it)
- Intellect: Me dumber than Dan Quayle (Oh, I'm sorry...that's impossible)
- Sex: I once played 'Truth or Dare' with a neighbor's daughter, and.....
- Languages: English, Ameslan, a li'l French, Gibberish, Ignorance and a lot of 4 - letter words
- Shoe Size: Take my IQ level and times it by 75,000...then double it
- Sex: ...sex...sex...ummm, well, I stand when I piss. Just heed those words and be creative.
My Favorite:
- Musical Performer: the almighty Ozzy Osbourne
- Beer: Bud (Well, I don't drink anymore...anyway..)
- Subject in school: I like the coming and going parts, just nothing in between
- Music Groups: Ozzy Osbourne, Black Sabbath, Dio, Metallica, Guns n' Roses, KISS, Nine Inch Nails, numerous unknown others
- Party Game: Nude Crisco Twister
- Pastime: Masterbating (don't take this seriously, folks)
- Season: Spring
- Quote: "Don't ask me questions - there are things you shouldn't know"--Ozzy
- Quote to all GoPlay users: "GoPlay is molesting itself and raping its users."
My Favorite Songs:
Ozzy's "Waiting for Darkness"
Black Sabbath's "Sabbath Bloody Sabbath"
Metallica's "Nothing Else Matters"
Dio's "All the Fools Sailed Away"
Numerous others
Still ain't enough?! Alright, alright! I hear you whimpering and crying like a poor school girl. I'll tell you even more of my boring ass life. Happy?!
Things I Strive to Do...:
- When I'm sober, I try to remember the name of the chick that woke up next to me
- When I'm drunk, I try to be the 'life of the party' , but I usually just wake up naked about 80 miles from my home
Things I Hate:
- Rap music
- *ahem* Normal people
- New York Yankees (hey, we all have our opinions)
- Clowns (I have a phobia)
- Math (I can do math...I just hate it)
- Bad jokes that ain't funny (This Site is nothing but a bad joke)
- Politicians, boy bands, and anything Fabio writes. His writing is proportional to a bed pan - So full of shit.
Favorite Writers - Authous - Poets:
- Edgar Allan Poe (My fav)
- Stephan King (Not as good, but...)
- John Carpender (Some talent)
- J.R.R. Tolkien (You need ta read 'The Hobbit' - it's interesting)
My Worst Omen:
- Dreamin' that I have to piss and that I am really in front of a toilet...
So there! Now you know more about my boring, meaningless, utterly disgraceful life. Well, it ain't as if your life is any better than mine, but at least now you have someone to pity.
Now you know more about who I am. So quit whining, dammit.
Meet Mr. Push Me!
