The blade cut swiftly, but the burn it left behind seared all the way to the bone. JD gasped. The thin veneer of stoicism he'd hidden behind when the torture started melted beneath the heavy burden of pain. Blood oozed down his cheek, slid under his jaw and traced a warm path down his neck. He swallowed and felt the squeeze of corded muscles in his throat.

A hand fisted his shirt at his chest and yanked him up. His head wrenched back with the unexpected move. With his arms bound behind him he couldn't push against the chest that crowded against him. He turned his head to the side to escape the hot breath that gushed into his face.

"I know that hurt, Dunne. I'll have you crying like a baby before I'm finished with you. Too bad Larabee sent in a kid to do a man's job."

Anger seared through him and JD stiffened in his captor's hold. He turned to face his enemy, his mouth twisted into a sneer. "You're just diggin' your grave deeper and deeper, Reynolds. Let me go and maybe you'll get life instead of the death penalty."

"Death penalty?" Reynolds face tightened, the corners of his mouth curved up in a sadistic smile. "What a great idea you've given me!" Released abruptly, JD slumped back into his chair. "Tie him to the frame, boys, it's time to pass judgement."

"Wha--?" Rough hands grabbed him, pinching brutally into his skin and groping grotesquely at his crotch. JD twisted, trying desperately to rid himself of the unwelcome touches that bruised his body. Laughter swelled with his struggles and fingers slid between his legs, fondling his genitals through his pants and squeezing his butt. A gasp of helpless rage and fear burst through his mouth. He arched in their hold, trying to break away, but the hands that held him were too strong.

They shifted him upright and untied his hands, then pressed him back against an old mattress box frame. Chains were pushed through the ancient rusty springs and wrapped around his wrists. The metal was cold and the links pinched his tender skin. The same thing was done with his ankles. JD pressed back against the old frame, his chest pumping with deep breaths. Anticipation electrified his nerves and when someone grabbed the front of his shirt and ripped it from his shoulders, he sucked in a surprised breath. He shivered, goosebumps covering his body. Feeling vulnerable, he stared out at his captors. They formed a half circle in front of him, eyes gleaming with unsurpassed delight. Reynolds turned the knife in his hand; the metal reflected the overhead light. JD groaned, and his tormentors laughed.

Reynolds stepped forward. "Agent Dunne, you have been found guilty of stupidity. The sentence: evisceration." JD gasped and Reynolds laughed. "Let's take this nice and slow, boys." He lifted the knife and pressed the point lightly against JD's belly just below his navel. "Don't want to gut him too soon and take all the fun out of it."

JD's breathing grunted from a strained throat. "Don't do this, Reynolds."

"Why not?" Grinning wider, Reynolds pressed the weapon harder against JD. "'Fraid I might get caught? Afraid your friends won't rescue you in time?" He leaned close, his voice lowered into a sultry purr. "Or are you afraid you'll enjoy it as much as we will?"

"You're -- huh!" Surprise stole the words from his mouth as the blade bit into his skin. JD threw his head back, his eyes squeezed shut tight with pain. Heat pierced his belly and he slumped forward, desperate to bend double and protect himself. Opening his eyes he looked down at himself. The tip of the blade pushed into his body, the skin tunneling down around the weapon. His abdomen undulated with his erratic breathing and the well of skin around the blade swelled and retracted with his movements. "Don't --"

"Don't what? Don't stop?" Laughter rumbled from Reynolds and he moved closer to JD. Their bodies almost touched and the knife was caught dangerously between them. Any slight movement forward from Reynolds would thrust the blade through JD.

"Please -- I -- " JD let his head drop back and it bounced gently against the springs. He swallowed thickly, the arch of his throat tightening with his pain. "Please don't -- uhhhh -- no!" The blade dug deeper and JD responded immediately. He bucked helplessly against the frame at his back, arching forward into Reynolds. His involuntary movement forced the knife deeper into his gut. Agony tore through his belly and he shuddered with the torment. Warm blood swelled from the wound and ran down his abdomen, saturating his pants with red.

A hand pressed against his belly, the fingers indenting his flesh. He felt the pressure of each fingertip. Darkness held him captive. He couldn't open his eyes. Something soft brushed against his face. A warm moist mouth whispered into his ear, "Don't it feel good?"

A strained groan was forced out of his throat when the knife was pushed all the way into his belly. He felt the weapon's hilt cold and firm against his skin. Breathing hurt, pulled through his chest and swelled his stomach, accentuating the spear of pain running through him. An arm slipped around his shoulders and worked between him and the mattress, hugging tight to his back, drawing him closer to Reynolds. He wanted to pull away, wanted to spit in the man's face but the pain in his gut melted his bones and shredded his muscles. The mouth at his ear moved across his face. Something wet and warm brushed against his mouth. Repulsed with the kiss, JD turned his head away.

Reynolds pressed closer and wrapped his other arm around him. The pressure of his body held the knife tight in JD's body and pushed the weapon hard. The hilt kept it from stabbing any deeper. JD whimpered, shocked with the small sound that left him feeling like a lost child.

A hand cupped his crotch and squeezed. JD yelped, twisting his hips to rid himself of the grip. The short knife handle, caught between himself and Reynolds, jammed firmly into Reynolds, forcing the blade harder into JD. He gasped in agony and clenched his teeth to steel the scream in his throat.

Sound exploded around him. Noises scattered behind his closed eyes and he sensed Reynolds's men running without seeing them. Reynolds's arms tightened around his body and JD shuddered as waves of pain broke over him.

"FBI! Freeze!" Chris' familiar voice boomed through the room and immediately JD knew his friends were there. A whimper of shame bled through his throat. The ghost of Reynolds's grip at his crotch taunted him, breaking down his manhood and left him beached and floundering. "Move away from him, Reynolds." When nothing happened, Chris spoke again. "JD? You all right?"

He couldn't answer. The grief in his voice would betray him, and the others would know his shame. He squeezed his eyes shut tighter and pressed his lips together.

"I said stand down, Reynolds. NOW!"

Laughter shook the chest that was pressed against him. JD groaned when the knife in his gut moved.

"I move and he's dead." Reynolds did move suddenly, swinging away from JD as he gripped the knife protruding from his stomach. "I pull this out and he bleeds to death, right here, right now."

Silence froze the room. JD held his eyes shut, afraid of the revulsion he believed he'd see on his friend's faces. Reynolds's grip on the weapon vibrated the blade deep within his abdomen. A flash of pain slapped into him. With a soft cry of agony, he sank into oblivion, escaping humility and failure.

<><><>

Buck held still, frightened by the sickening turn his world had taken. The moment between life and death opened at his feet and he fought to keep his balance, fought to keep from plummeting into the abyss. JD was bound to an old box frame, his arms and legs spread out and wrapped with chains. His head hung low, black hair partially hiding the cut on his left cheek. A knife impaled him through his lower abdomen and Reynolds held the weapon, just as surely as he held JD's life in his hands.

Unaware of his actions, Buck lowered his gun and took a half-step closer. "Don't --"

Reynolds laughed. "Don't? Funny, that's the same thing he said." He slipped his free arm around JD from behind and adjusted his fist around the knife. JD groaned. His head lolled back on his neck, but his eyes remained closed.

"What do you want?" Buck bent down and placed his gun on the floor, his eyes never leaving Reynolds. "Tell me what you want and I'll get it for you." He spread his arms wide in entreaty.

"Buck -- don't!"

Reynolds interrupted Chris. "Again with the 'don'ts'! What is it with you ATF agents? Never heard of the words 'Do it'!" He bit into his lower lip and without looking pushed the knife in hard. JD's belly hollowed, his ribs swelled out, each slender bone showing in sharp detail. His eyes opened and at the same time he screamed. The skin at the connecting point of his collarbones, near the base of his throat, sank inward with his next deep inhale of breath and he screamed again.

Unheeding of his own safely, Buck rushed forward. He had his arms outstretched and wrapped around Reynolds before anyone else moved. The man reached for a gun that he'd had tucked into the front of his belt and Buck knocked it aside. A horrible ripping tear burned through Buck's head as he watched the knife viciously yanked from JD's body. JD arched reflectively outward with the pull, then his body slumped back against the frame and was frighteningly still. A vastly terrifying amount of blood bloomed out of him and gushed down his abdomen.

With a roar of mind numbing rage, Buck's momentum carried he and Reynolds to the floor. He rammed his fists into the man, aiming for his face and his gut. He wanted to pierce his knuckles through Reynolds just as JD had been pierced. Blood splattered and exploded from Reynolds' ruined nose. He brought his arms up to protect himself so Buck moved to his stomach, pummeling the man until his muscles softened and it felt like his fists were sinking through to his spine.

Hands caught his shoulders and pulled him back. Snarling with impotent rage, Buck jerked from their grasp and continued pounding into Reynolds. A familiar voice shouted at him, screamed into his ear, but he resisted acknowledging it, sinking farther down into the satisfaction of revenge, until one name caught him and held him fast. One name that he couldn't ignore.

"JD."

He stopped, slumped forward on his knees straddling Reynolds' hips. His shoulders pumped with his breathing and the sudden ache in his hands was almost unbearable. He turned his head and found Chris beside him. "JD?"

Chris' face held none of the stoicism he usually reserved for his job. His lips parted and his forehead wrinkled as he drew his eyebrows together in sorrow. "Nathan's with him."

The finality of Chris' voice pushed him to his feet. A siren's echo followed him as he crossed the room and knelt beside Nathan. The man held the heel of his hand pressed deeply into JD's belly. Blood coated his hand, wrist and half way up his arm, and smeared JD's pale torso like spilled paint.

"Oh my God..." The edict was whispered like a prayer. Buck leaned forward and touched JD's cheek. He nearly shrank away from the feeling of cold clammy skin beneath his palm, but instead, he drew closer, bending his body over his injured friend.

"The ambulance is here."

Ignoring the statement and the urge for him to move back, Buck pressed his face to JD's cheek. Black hair tickled his lips as he gently kissed the still head. "Stay with me, JD. Please don't leave." He gripped JD's hand and finally sat up when Nathan demanded he let the paramedics in. But he didn't let go. He watched as a pressure bandage was applied to the open wound in JD's abdomen. He watched, as the medics' hands grew red with JD's blood. He listened as vitals were yelled back and forth and radioed to the hospital and IVs were started. He listened with tense dread as one of the paramedics held a stethoscope to JD's chest and pronounced his pulse weak and thready. But he didn't let go.

JD was loaded onto a stretcher and rushed to the ambulance. Chris touched his shoulder, told him they'd follow. Buck nodded, but his eyes stayed riveted on JD, on the shallow rise and fall of his chest, on his face and the dark eyelashes feathered against bloodless skin. And he never let go.

<><><>

Buck returned to JD's hospital room. The blinds were half-opened, allowing sunlight to seep in. The monitors had almost all been removed as the patient improved. JD lay peacefully sleeping, his head turned slightly to the side. Buck sat down beside him. A nightmare of memories pushed through his head, hiding in the dark. He refused to bring them out into the open. Living once through the operation and the worry and fear that JD wouldn't make it was enough. Dragging his terror out into the open again would only make him remember the anguish and pain, and that he could do without.

JD stirred. Buck stood and moved to stand by his bed. When the lashes fluttered and hazel eyes opened, Buck smiled down at him. "Hey there, kid. You gonna sleep all day?" He kept his voice soft and his touch softer when he reached up to brush his knuckles lightly against JD's face.

JD smiled. "Soon's I get -- outta here we need to -- take a vacation." His voice was weak and scratchy but Buck smiled, reveling to hear him at all.

"I don't know -- seems to me you been findin' trouble awful easy lately."

"Aww, Buck. You know -- long as you're -- with me I got nothin' to -- worry 'bout."

Buck's grin broadened. "Thanks, kid." He tapped his chest with his fingers. "Gets me right here when you say that."

A soft huffing escaped JD and a frown marred his smile. "Don't -- make me laugh."

"Sorry, junior." Buck reached for JD's wrist and tenderly wrapped his fingers around the joint. "I'll keep the jokes to a minimum."

JD's eyes drifted shut and Buck knew the drugs were dragging him under again. No problem. I'll just sit here and wait. Long as I know you'll wake up again, I can wait as long as it takes.

Pulling the chair closer to the bed, Buck settled into the cushions but kept his hand on JD's arm. There was a shadow of something he couldn't quite identify in JD's eyes, something that dulled his smile. He had plans to help JD through it, help him conquer his demons. He'd already done the hard part: he'd lived. Now all he had to do was survive.

The End

Sequel: As Long as it Takes: Comfort

Shellie

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