Bush will re-institute the Draft! Bush had plans for two new  army divisions which will consist of  recently divorced women who are on PMS. That's why he was so anxious to get a vote on those two bills (both sponsored by what must be maverick Democrats) that would have re-instituted the draft! But, those untrustworthy Republicans in Congress voted them down! WOW! Bush must REALLY be upset?   -

No matter what it is you want (even help finding a babysitter), Kerry/Edwards have a PLAN for it! Bush doesn't!   -

No more expensive war on terror! As Kerry has said, terrorists are just a nuisance anyway (sort of like mosquitoes - or acne?)! In any case, if they hurt anybody, Edwards will sue the pants off them (and the wounded victims' doctors)!   -

Using has vast (4 month) combat experience from Vietnam, Kerry will allow US troops to fight terrorism for only 4 months! If we have not won by then, he will do as he did during Vietnam - call for an end to the fighting, saying that the US troops were all really axe murderers and baby killers anyway, and offer the terrorists whatever they want to end it. After all, it worked so well for him in Vietnam ............. and you haven't seen Vietnam attacking us lately!   -

Those silly Republicans, of course Kerry hasn't filed the paperwork to release ALL of his Navy records, he does not want the terrorists to know before hand how formidable his military expertise really is (part of his secret plan, you know)!   -

To correct the outsourcing of jobs overseas, Kerry's wife, Terreaza, will close all 51 overseas HEINZ 57 plants and bring the jobs back here!   -

And, finally, as that medical expert Edwards has promised, if they are elected, their healthcare plan will be like the 2nd Coming: the blind will walk, and the lame shall see! (or ...... something like that)!   -

Remember our time-honored tradition - vote early, and often!   -

If George W. Bush wins this election, I warn you that he will kill two birds with one stone," said John Forbes Kerry, the Democrat presidential candidate. "He'll bail out Social Security by sending our nation's grandparents to the front lines in Iraq to die in the wrong war."

Mr. Kerry, who is also a U.S. Senator, said, "Senior citizens are patriotic, plentiful and many of them still have their old military uniforms and vintage rifles from World War II and Korea. It's a cynical scheme, and that's why this administration is hiding it until January."

According to details of the secret Bush plan, backdoor-drafted National Guard and Reserve troops will come home rapidly as they're replaced by five divisions of combat-ready "geriatric GIs."

To date, the Pentagon has not specifically denied the existence of the alleged secret plan dubbed 'Operation Joint Replacement.'

President Bush, asked to respond to the Kerry allegation during a campaign stop, said, "This is the first I've heard of it. But we don't need to draft our seniors. If we'd let 'em, they'd volunteer. Next question."