Internet Home Of The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy

Journalist Dives Into Oil

AP Journalist Rich MatthewsS explaines how he is 40 miles out into the Gulf Of Mexico and dives into oil. I jump off the boat into the thickest patch of red oil I've ever seen. I open my eyes and realize my mask is already smeared. I can't see anything and we're just five seconds into the dive.

The last part of the story is the best. It took him 30 minutes to scrub off, standing on the transom I guess as he wrote that the captain wouldn’t let him back on the boat. At which point he stood up, slipped on his feet since the soles were still oily, and fell back into the oil slick. 30 more minutes of scrubbing!

This just in: Oil is oily. Film at 11 pm..

If I jump in, will I get oily? Let's see! WOW! I did get oily! Now ... where's my Pulitzer?

If I dive into the flames will I notice the temperature around me getting much hotter.

If I waded into the water, Will I notice my body getting wetter.

If I put my hand on the oven burner will I notice it is hot.

I’d send him to the next volcano eruption.

Newsletters are mostly Satirical Humor

Follow Us On Facebook Here

Back To Home Page Of RightWing Conspiracy Newsletters