Disclaimer: I suppose it won't surprise you to hear that these characters are not exactly originals--I've stolen them from Saban Entertainment ;)

Reflections
by Starhawk

Early afternoon found Carlos back on the Bridge of the Megaship, trying to find a way around the damping field of the Sanctuary moon. He had managed to calculate a probable course for the half of Divatox's army that had taken off with Zordon, but he couldn't come up with any likely destinations along their predicted path. Without scanners, there was nothing more he could do. 

*If only we could hyperboost the scanners the way we do the communications,* Carlos mused, staring at the console in front of them. Hyperboosted communication signals were currently the only form of data that the Megaship could transmit or receive--with the exception of teleportation beams, since those were not electronic in origin--because they were sent directly to their destination through hyperspace, bypassing the damping field altogether. 

*Maybe there's a way to do it…* he thought, knowing full well that he was only trying to keep himself busy. 

He glanced involuntarily toward the auxiliary bank of scanner controls, where TJ sat staring at the monitor. The Blue Ranger had wandered onto the Bridge about a half an hour ago, and Carlos had said nothing when he restored power to the backup station and tuned into an IN network. 

TJ could, of course, have accessed the network from his room. But the minimal amount of power required to run the monitor and receive the boosted comm transmission would make little difference in the long run, and it probably made him feel better to be on the Bridge.

Carlos, too, had tried to work in his room. But what it came down to was that he felt too isolated there. He and TJ were the only Astro Rangers still on board, and it was easier to ignore the pervasive quiet when he was surrounded by the hum of the Megaship's control center. 

Glancing down at the time display on the scanner console, Carlos decided to give up on the scanners for the moment. "I'll be back in a minute," he told TJ, and his friend looked away from the monitor to wave.  

The two of them had, by mutual agreement, been taking turns checking on Phantom every hour or so. DECA was monitoring him as well, and would alert them if something was wrong, but they both knew Cassie would appreciate the extra effort. 

*It seems only fair,* Carlos thought, stepping into the lift. *She gave up her ability to watch over him to go after our friends; the least we can do is look in on him from time to time.* 

He still wasn't sure how he felt about the two of them. When Phantom first appeared, Carlos had figured Cassie's reaction to their mysterious ally was nothing more than a crush. It was, after all, easy to idealize someone about whom you knew almost nothing. 

It had puzzled him, however, that Phantom appeared to return her feelings, and he had wondered if he was imagining things. It seemed an unlikely coincidence that they could have developed a mutual infatuation with each other, based on their extremely limited encounters, and the idea that they had fallen in love seemed even more preposterous. 

Lately, though, it was becoming obvious that Phantom did indeed favor Cassie. And Cassie had certainly waited for him--it had been a long time, and she wouldn't have lacked for male companionship if she had sought it. 

The lift doors opened, and Carlos made his way down the hall toward the Medical bay. The boy Cassie had teleported here earlier in the day lay exactly as she must have left him--on his back, eyes closed and still, in a sleep too deep for dreams. 

The Phantom Ranger. Carlos had a hard time associating the enigmatic warrior they had known so briefly on Earth with the stranger he saw every time he entered the Medical bay. Phantom had *been* his uniform, when it came right down to it--none of them had known him any other way. 

*I didn't trust him,* Carlos realized suddenly. It was a strange revelation, and startling in its abruptness. Only know, seeing Phantom's unmorphed form, did he understand that the armored Ranger had been the epitome of what Carlos *didn't* want to become: just a uniform, fighting for good as automatically as the Blue Senturion. 

*He never seemed real to me, I guess. Almost--more of a machine than a person.* And machines were not inherently good or evil; they were merely programmed. He supposed back then he had never been sure the Power Rangers were anything more than a series of numbers to Phantom. 

The person on the patient bed now, though, was real in a way the Phantom Ranger hadn't been. Dressed in the color Carlos himself preferred, this boy was someone he could relate to: someone he could see smiling once in a while, rather than just appearing to rescue the team from impending doom every other week. 

*Maybe there's a chance for him and Cassie after all,* the Black Ranger mused, leaving the Medical bay once more. *If they ever have a conversation that isn't cut off by some life threatening situation…* 

Of course, they hardly needed his approval. The two seemed perfectly content with each other *without* any of the conventional things that made a relationship work. He crossed his fingers for them, hoping against all logic that they would continue to be happy. 

The stars beckoned from a window as he passed, and he paused a moment to gaze out. *And you, Ashley?* he wondered into the vacuum. *Will you be happy with the one you've chosen? Will he give you the devotion you deserve?* 

Staring out at the unforgiving points of light, he prayed his friends lived long enough to find those answers for themselves. 

***

Andros sat back from the control console in the diminutive escape pod. *That should do it,* he thought, rather pleased with himself. 

It had occurred to him not long after the pod was jettisoned that, if the Megaship came looking for them, anyone on their trail would follow the fleet. The escape pod's tiny and erratic vapor trail would go unnoticed in the midst of the larger and far more numerous ships. 

So he'd rigged a beacon, set to the Astro Rangers' morpher frequency. It would remain silent, indistinguishable from free-floating space debris, until and unless a morpher passed within two million kilometers of the beacon. The proximity indicator would trigger an automatic signal that ought to show up as a static burst on their communicators, alerting whomever was searching for them that there was someone out here. 

*At least, that's the idea…* 

He shrugged off the flicker of doubt. No solution was foolproof, and this was the best one he could implement with limited resources. There was no way to know, really, whether the other Rangers were even in a position to rescue them. 

*So we'll continue with the original plan… and hope the rest of the team is all right.* There was, in all honesty, little else they *could* do. With a barely concealed sigh, Andros looked over at his fellow escapee.

Ashley was curled against the back of the escape pod, eyes closed and body relaxed in sleep. He had seen her doze off a little while ago and had done nothing to prevent it. It was better for her to nap now, before the temperature got low enough that sleeping would be dangerous.

Besides, he admitted to himself, it was nice to be able to watch her without her knowing for once. When she was awake, she seemed to have some sixth sense that told her when he was looking at her--and he would invariably become flustered when she returned his gaze. 

*What is it about her that makes me so confused?* he wondered, shifting so that his back was to the console. *How is she so different from anyone I've ever known?* 

Ashley had been unique since the day he met her. She had been the first in years to try to break through his shell, and she wouldn't take no for an answer.  

Watching her stir a little in her sleep, he remembered the argument they'd had just last week. It had begun as one of their typical battles over Terran versus Kerovan superiority--good-natured squabbling that had been occurring more and more frequently, despite the fact that he couldn't recall how he had let her drag him into it the first time--but had quickly turned into a more serious fight over what she termed his "antisociality"… 

The whole thing had started when he refused to go rollerblading with the others. *"You won't try anything new,"* she had accused. *"Just because you never did it on KO-35 doesn't mean it's bad."* 

*"Just because it originated on Earth doesn't make it good, either,"* he had retorted. *"I have more important things to do."* 

*"We all do! But we take time to be with each other, to just hang out and have fun."* She had given him a look he couldn't interpret. *"If you don't want to do things with us, you could just tell us instead of making up excuses, you know."* 

He remembered being rather taken aback. Normally, their mock-battles over which planet was "better" would continue until he started to get irritated. She always noticed, and would back off immediately, laughing at their sport and often conceding that KO-35 was at least equal to her home planet. 

This time, though… he hadn't known how to respond to her sudden change in demeanor. *"I just don't have time,"* he had said at last, and when her eyes flashed he knew he'd said something wrong. 

*"We're not so bad, if you'd just give us a chance,"* she'd told him. *"Is having friends one of those things that wasn't done on KO-35, or is it us in particular that you don't like?"* 

He had frowned at her sudden animosity. Ashley had never spoken to him like that, and he had no idea what he'd done to deserve it. Frankly, their "friendliness" overwhelmed him when it was imposed on him every hour of the day, and he found he needed some time away from it after a while. But to admit that would be admitting weakness, and he couldn't do that in front of her.

*"I survived on my own for years before you came along,"* he had answered, rather more harshly than he'd intended. *"I can do just fine without your help *or* your company."*

Andros winced at the memory. Hurt had flashed across her face before she could hide it, and he had paused--too late. The damage had been done, and she had left the Bridge soon after.

Now, he knew the entire fight could have been avoided if he had simply told her the truth, as he had two days ago. Sometimes the others were just too much to handle, and he needed to be alone from time to time--she had understood, and he wished that he had told her then, before the rollerblading incident got out of hand. 

*Did I ever apologize for the things I said?* He couldn't remember doing so--Ashley had been unusually quiet at dinner that night, but the next morning she had acted as though nothing had happened. Things had gone back to normal between them, with her prodding him into activities and him agreeing a little less reluctantly each time, until the day of the backrubs. 

*That* was a memory he could smile at. "Thank you," Andros whispered, leaning over to touch her face. "Thank you for… everything." 

She stirred again, and he drew back quickly. "Ash?" he asked quietly, but she didn't answer.

He tried to resist the temptation to touch her again, but his hand moved irresistibly back toward her face. He found himself running his fingers through her hair, heart racing as he prayed she would not wake up. 

Another flashback took hold of his mind, and the scene on the Simudeck this morning replayed in front of his eyes. She had looked so beautiful, dancing in the early sunlight of the simulated park. And when she turned, eyes shining and arms lifted triumphantly over her head as though she had been performing solely for him, he had almost stopped breathing. 

He had wanted to run to her, take her in his arms and tell her how amazing she was--but he restrained himself, for the same reason that he now sat beside her hoping she would not wake. He simply didn't know how much she would accept from him… and in all honesty, he wasn't sure how much he could give. 

*I've been alone for so long--what do I know about relationships?* Ashley's presence was intoxicating, and the more time he spent with her, the more he wanted to *always* be with her. But something inside him wouldn't let go that easily. 

*Something* in him refused to yield, refused to be swept away by the feelings that tried to overpower him whenever Ashley smiled. Something had screamed at him to stop when they were sparring; something had made him tense when she pinned him to the ground. And though he had very much wanted to kiss her then, and had liked the feeling of her fingers in his hair, something had made him pull away. 

Ashley murmured something incomprehensible, and he froze. Her eyes were still closed, but her expression was far less peaceful than it had been minutes before. His train of thought abandoned, he focused all his attention on her and was not surprised when she cried out a moment later. 

"Ashley," he whispered, letting his hand fall to her shoulder and giving her a gentle shake.

She twitched away, moaning, and he couldn't suppress his alarm. "Ash," he said, louder. "Wake up." 

He took hold of her other shoulder, then just as quickly let go and touched her cheek. "Ashley, don't do this to me. Come on, wake up. It's just a dream." 

Her eyes snapped open at last, and the fear he saw there cut straight to his heart. He started to pull away, but she stopped him with a single word. "Andros…" 

The fear had dissipated from her eyes as soon as she caught sight of him, but her expression was still troubled and there was no ignoring the distress in her voice. He pulled her close, wanting only to banish whatever terrors had plagued her dreams. 

She clung to him, and suddenly he heard her whisper, "Andros? Do you think they're all right?"

"Yeah," he whispered back, suddenly aware of just how much trust she was putting in him. This was a side of her the others never saw--yet she revealed her doubts to him without a second thought, counting on him to comfort her and keep her secrets. "Yeah, I do," he repeated, forcing the words out. "They're Rangers, Ash--they'll be okay." 

Even he could hear how choked his voice sounded, but he couldn't explain the turmoil inside him. To his intense relief, she didn't ask, though her next words made it obvious she had noticed. He felt her hand stroke his hair as she murmured, "We're going to be okay too, Andros. Everything's going to be all right." 

He tried to answer, but found he couldn't. Closing his eyes, he let her reassure him, when it was supposed to be the other way around. *Is she right? *Will* we be okay--can I find a way to make this work?* 

"Hey," Ashley said gently, pulling back to look at him with a concerned expression. "What are you thinking?" 

He tried to smile. "How do you know?"  

"Know what?" she asked, combing his hair away from his face with her fingers. 

"When I'm…" He couldn't finish. 

"When you're upset?" she suggested, and he nodded once. She smiled. "You tense your shoulders, and your eyes get really dark looking." 

"You couldn't see my eyes," he pointed out. 

She shrugged. "But you still tensed your shoulders." She demonstrated, hunching forward and frowning a little. Some of the effect was lost, since her arms were still twined around his neck, but he had to admit he recognized the posture. 

Ashley giggled at his expression. "I didn't mean to embarrass you. But it's true--so what's wrong?" 

He sighed, glancing away. He didn't know what to tell her--after all, he wasn't even sure himself. 

"Is it something I did?" she asked quietly. 

Andros looked up instantly. "No!" That was the last thing he wanted her to think, but he still couldn't figure out how to tell her what he was feeling. "It's not you at all…" 

"Then what?" she pressed, and he shrugged uncomfortably. 

Tempted to just shake his head and tell her it was nothing, he stopped himself with an effort. She let him know her fears, and it was a gesture of trust he longed to return, if only he could find the words. 

"I guess… I guess I don't know what you want," he said at last. She opened her mouth, but he shook his head at her, afraid she had taken it wrong. "Wait. Let me explain--or try, at least."

She nodded with a smile on her face, and he figured that was a good sign. "It's just that I don't know what you're used to, in a relationship. And…" He paused, trying to decide how to say this without making it sound like a reflection on her. 

Andros sighed, and started with the sentence closest to his heart. "I like you, Ash. I like you more than I can remember liking anyone for a long time, but--I guess I'm just not used to it. I don't know how to act around you; I don't know… what you want," he finished, frustrated with his inability to explain. 

She waited a moment, then asked timidly, "Can I say something?" 

"Please," Andros said emphatically. "I'm certainly not doing a very good job." 

She tilted her head to one side and smiled up at him. "I think you're doing fine. Let me clear something up--what I want? You. That's it; just you, however you are or want to be. You don't have to 'act' any way--just be you." 

"But--" He didn't get past the first word before she stopped him. 

Placing two fingers over his mouth, she told him, "But nothing. *You* are the person I like, not some image I have of you. If something I do makes you uncomfortable, *tell* me--I'm not trying to make you live up to an ideal; I just don't know any better if you don't tell me how you feel." 

Andros let himself relax a little, realizing as he did so that his shoulders *were* tense, after all. "Thanks…" He couldn't begin to describe the relief he felt at her words. "I don't know what else to say, Ash." 

She bit her lip, looking at him from under her eyelashes. "Would it be okay--would it make you uncomfortable if I kissed you now?" 

He couldn't keep a smile from spreading across his face. "There's nothing I'd like more," Andros confessed. He felt his heart start pounding as she leaned closer, and he had time to wonder whether she would simply touch her lips to his as she had several times before, or if it would be a kiss like the one they'd shared on the Simudeck… 

Ashley kissed him gently, then waited, her face centimeters from his. He understood that it was up to him how far it went, and he hesitated. Then, slowly, he closed the gap between them and pressed his mouth to hers. 

She returned the kiss with more confidence than he had felt initiating it, and though it lacked the passion of their earlier encounter, it was just as sweet. As he kissed her again, he found he was enjoying himself more for knowing she didn't expect anything he couldn’t yet give.

Finally, she turned her head and laid it against his shoulder. "I'm so lucky to know you," Ashley whispered. 

He smiled, breathing in the clean scent of her hair. "Funny," Andros replied softly. "I was just thinking the same thing about you." 

***

Phantom awoke suddenly, feeling closer to rested than he had in weeks. Without moving, he did a quick survey of his surroundings and recognized the Medical bay on the Megaship. *Safe,* his mind reminded him, but he had been operating on instinct for too long to let rational thought dictate his actions completely. 

Reaching automatically for his blaster, he sat up--or tried to. The instant he moved, pain shot through his chest and he bit his lip to keep from crying out. 

He must have made some noise, however, because DECA's camera light flicked on. "Good evening, Saryn." 

That brought him upright no matter the pain, and he again reached for the comforting weight of his blaster. It wasn't on his hip where it should have been, and he looked down in shock as he realized he was not morphed. 

His right hand flew to the ruby around his neck, and he felt the Power flood through him. Within seconds, he was looking at the Medical bay through the sensory datafeed of his visor. 

"How did you know?" he demanded of the ship's computer. 

"Visual correlation with intergalactic files was achieved four point six seconds after you were brought on board," DECA replied calmly. 

He swore silently. There were few enough who knew of his identity, and each had promised to guard his secret. Having a computer that interacted with dozens of other systems every week "achieve visual correlation with intergalactic files" was *not* part of the plan. 

"DECA," he said through clenched teeth, "I would prefer that this information not become public." 

"Saryn of Elisia has been absent from the public eye for years now," DECA remarked, ignoring the intent of his statement. 

"Stop saying that name," Phantom warned, his voice dangerously low. 

"Many have thought you dead," the computer continued, unfazed. 

He turned his head away abruptly. "I *should* have been," he muttered, shutting his eyes against the memory of those last few days as Saryn. It didn't help--the images were that much clearer on the dark background of the inside of his eyelids, and he snapped them open again, shaking his head. *I can not believe I let a computer get to me,* he thought bitterly. 

"DECA." He stood up, fists clenched at his sides, trying very hard to keep his tone even. "I am the Phantom Ranger. That is both my title and my name. Do you understand?" 

DECA blinked at him. In the pause, he wished suddenly for Andros--the Red Ranger could convince DECA of anything. 

"No information on the location, identity, or status of Saryn of Elisia will leave this ship," the computer said at last. "Is that sufficient?" 

Phantom almost agreed--until the loophole she had left in that statement caught up with him. "I do not wish the other Rangers to know either, DECA." 

The fact that she didn't answer right away confirmed his suspicions. When she did, however, her reply caught him off guard. "Including Cassie Chan?" 

He caught his breath in surprise, then glared at the camera. *I hate artificial intelligence…*

When he didn't respond, the camera turned a little, readjusting its angle. "You have not answered the question," she reminded him. "Do you wish Cassie Chan to know your identity?" 

Phantom looked away. "She already knows," he muttered, remembering those few minutes on an alien ship when all he had cared about was the feel of her in his arms. He swallowed, knowing that mistake could cost him. "Who she tells--is her business." 

DECA's camera blinked twice. "Understood," the computer's voice replied, sounding a little quieter than before. The red light lingered a moment longer, then darkened, and he was alone again.  

He forced himself to relax, sitting down on the edge of the patient bed and closing his eyes. Taking a few deep breaths, he could feel his injuries complain a little, but it was inconsequential compared to the way they had felt when he first awoke. The Power had infused him with something like his old strength, and it had diminished the pain in his chest to almost nothing.  

Enjoying the absence of discomfort, he reflected that it was nice not to feel so insanely tired anymore… 

"From what I hear, you'll heal faster if half your energy isn't going to keeping you morphed."  

Phantom's eyes opened and his head jerked up--he hadn't even realized he had been nodding off until a familiar voice cut into his doze. 

The Blue Ranger was lounging in the doorway, watching him with a knowing expression. "And after everything that's happened, you *definitely* shouldn't be sleeping that way." 

He started to deny it, but the fact that he hadn't heard TJ's entrance was proof enough. "I do not have time to sleep," he said instead, wondering how long he had been unaware--and how long the other Ranger had been there. 

TJ snorted. "Oh yes you do. Time is the one thing we have plenty of right now--I wish *I* could sleep some of it away." 

"What has happened?" Phantom asked, troubled by the sudden realization that he wasn't even completely sure what day it was. 

TJ didn't answer right away. "DECA?" he inquired, glancing toward the camera mounted on the wall of the Medical bay. It blinked on, and he asked, "How's Phantom doing?" 

"I am fine," Phantom said, but DECA spoke over him. 

"The Phantom Ranger is still recovering," she said, and he could have sworn he heard a smug note in her voice. "The injuries he sustained on Divatox's ship have not healed, and he requires more sleep before his life force will be at optimum levels." 

Knowing neither she nor TJ could see his expression, Phantom grimaced at the camera. To his surprise, the light blinked at him when TJ looked away, and Phantom's eyes widened. *That computer is laughing at me,* he thought, not sure whether to be startled or annoyed. 

"You'd better get some rest," TJ told him. "Cassie will kill me if she comes back to find out I made your condition worse."

Phantom had been trying to ignore the Pink Ranger's absence, though it was made more conspicuous by the fact that she had been at his side almost every time he woke up the day before. Now, though, something in the way TJ spoke made him think that Cassie had not just slipped away to get something to eat. He was almost afraid to ask--but he had to know. "Where *is* Cassie?" 

TJ hesitated, and the worry that flashed across his face confirmed Phantom's fear. He closed his eyes, remembering her admission that there were things she *knew* about him that she couldn't explain. He tried to sense any emotion that he could identify as *not* his… 

But there was only emptiness. "Where is she?" he repeated, opening his eyes and staring up at the concerned expression on her teammate's face. 

"She's fine," TJ said at last, pulling himself together. "Don't worry; we're in touch with her, and she *is* all right. She'll be back soon… You should really sleep." 

Phantom pushed himself to his feet. "TJ." He found it a struggle to keep his voice even, and suspected the other Ranger noticed. "I do not wish to argue with you. But if you do not tell me where Cassie is and what she is doing, I will go to the Bridge and find out for myself." 

TJ stared at him for a moment, but Phantom had no intention of backing down. After a moment, TJ sighed and nodded. "All right. I'd insist on knowing too--I was only trying to keep you from worrying." 

"You are not succeeding," Phantom said, trying not to snap at him. 

TJ's eyes narrowed. "Look, we're *all* concerned. I know you and Cassie have something special, but she's *our* teammate, and we're just as worried as you are." 

"Except that you know where she is," Phantom pointed out, barely keeping his impatience in check. 

TJ gave him an unreadable look, followed by a curt nod. "She left to find Andros and Ashley--"

Realizing that meant nothing to him, TJ stopped. Backing up, he explained, "The army went on alert as soon as the two of you were discovered, and half of them surrounded the Megaship while the other half took off with Zordon. Carlos and I came after you, but we couldn't alert the others in time, and the fleet was gone before we realized they were with it.  

"We're hiding in the damping field of the Sanctuary moon now--but Cassie insisted on going after them on her own. The last we heard from her, she had made it out of the sector and was still tracking the fleet's vapor trail." 

Phantom was sitting on the patient bed again, with no memory of when his legs had ceased to hold him. "You let her go *alone*?" 

"She didn't exactly give us a choice," TJ said wryly. "She just left--with me and Carlos still arguing over what to do." 

Phantom tried to smile. That did sound like Cassie. The thought of her alone among an entire army still terrified him, though, and he must have said so aloud, because TJ gave him an odd look. 

"You're not really one to talk," the Blue Ranger commented. There was no mistaking the animosity in his voice this time. 

Phantom winced. "What do you mean?" he asked, suspecting he knew but surprised that any of the Rangers would mention it in front of him. 

"You know what I mean," TJ told him evenly. "You haven't exactly made your presence felt lately. Or ever, for that matter." 

"I have duties, even as you do," Phantom reminded him. "We are all of us Rangers." 

"Some more than others," TJ muttered, and Phantom tried not to jump to conclusions. The Rangers had never treated him with anything less than perfect courtesy, and he couldn't believe one of them would insult him now. 

"Please elaborate," he said, his voice calm even as his mind raced. 

"Some of us are Rangers," TJ said, more loudly. "But there are certain rules that we follow, and one of those involves loyalty to our teammates. Who are you loyal to, Phantom?" 

Phantom's eyes widened. The challenge in TJ's tone was obvious. "I am a Ranger," he stated. "I fight for good, just as you do." 

"That's not what I asked. Who do you fight *with*?" 

Phantom stared at him, unable to believe the teenager's audacity. *He doesn't know,* he tried to remind himself, but he could feel the anger welling up inside him. "I did not choose this course," he said, trying to keep his feelings from showing. "I did not choose to be alone in the universe. But it happened, and I have learned to accept it." 

"But you *did* choose it," TJ insisted. "Our team would have accepted you--Dimitria would have let you stay, and we would have welcomed you as one of us. Instead, you gave us some nonsense about going where you were needed and leaving when the need had passed." 

"That was not nonsense," Phantom ground out. "It was, and still is, true." 

"How can it be?" TJ shot back. "Both megazords fell later that same year, Phantom! The Power Chamber was destroyed, and the Turbo powers were *lost*. Where were you?" 

Phantom took a deep breath, determined not to lose his temper. "I was on Eltare, fighting for the planet's freedom." 

"And Cassie was on Earth, fighting for her *life*!" Phantom looked away, but TJ continued relentlessly. "You've been needed more times than I can count--but we've heard nothing from you, not even a message to let us know you were still alive." 

"You survived," Phantom pointed out quietly. "I was *not* needed. You and your friends managed on your own." 

TJ shook his head. "You don't understand. I'm not just talking about your fighting ability--although there's no question it would have helped. I'm talking about *you*, and what you mean to Cassie." 

Phantom turned back to regard him, wondering whether to stop the other Ranger right there. "That is not your affair." 

"But it is." TJ stared back, and suddenly he seemed taller. "Cassie is my best friend, and her happiness is very much my affair. You have no idea what she was like when you were with us on Earth--she walked around with this glow, and a smile on her face that wouldn't go away." 

Phantom could see what was coming, and he was sure he didn't want to hear it. But what better punishment--it was his fault, after all. 

"Then you left. She seemed fine for a while--then I saw her report card. Her grades improved when she moved to Angel Grove, but in the months after you left they started falling again. Add to that she didn't go out on a single date that entire fall, and when I talked to Ashley, she said Cassie would go out in the yard at night and just stare up the sky--one night she didn't come in at all, and when Ashley went looking for her, she found her asleep in the grass." 

"Stop," Phantom whispered at last. "Please, stop." 

"Why?" TJ demanded. "You weren't there; you didn't have to watch. Do you know how hard it was to see her and know there was absolutely nothing I could do? Every time I asked, she'd just smile and say she was fine, but I could tell." 

He fell silent for a moment, but Phantom had nothing to say. All he could do was get to his feet and turn away, wishing he hadn't heard what TJ had just told him. It had been so much easier to think of her forgetting him and moving on, enjoying her life on Earth and never turning her gaze to the stars except in awe of their beauty. 

Even now that he knew how deeply she cared for him, he had hoped the happiness that had eluded him while they were apart had somehow found her in his absence. It would have made the time they had lost more bearable--and it would make the future less bleak, for he knew he could not stay on the Megaship forever. The thought of causing her any further pain was one he couldn't face right now. 

Then TJ's voice came again. "Phantom?" 

He turned his head, knowing he wouldn't be able to speak without giving himself away. 

TJ sighed. "Look, maybe that was a little harsh. It's just that I can't stand to see her hurting, and it would have been so simple for you to just show up every once in a while. Especially after we went into space--she was so glad to see you on Hercuron, even in the middle of Astronema's scheming. I suppose you were too busy to notice." 

"I noticed," Phantom answered quietly, hoping TJ didn't hear the tremor in his voice. He didn't add that having her arm around him when they rescued him from Ecliptor had been the best thing that had happened to him in weeks. 

"Then why did you leave?!" TJ burst out. "You knew we would come back for you after we defeated that monster on Earth--why didn't you wait?" 

"I couldn't," Phantom whispered, knowing it was an answer TJ would never let rest. But there was no way the other Ranger could understand how hard that decision had been. 

TJ sighed, obviously exasperated, but Phantom continued before he could speak. "Unlike you, I do not heal faster when I am morphed, and the injuries I sustained on Hercuron were too severe for me to recover from in this form." 

"And you didn't want to demorph in front of us," TJ finished. He considered that for a moment, then said, "All right. I'll accept that you had your reasons for that. But you could have at least contacted us later to let us know you were all right." 

Back still turned to TJ, Phantom braced himself against the counter next to the patient bed and closed his eyes. "You can't know how much I wanted to," he told the other, remembering nights he had woken from nightmares gasping for breath and wanting nothing more than to hear the sound of her voice. "But I left a message for your team, and for her, on Hercuron." 

"Yeah; it was really comforting," TJ agree sarcastically. "You could barely stand up, and you said you were leaving on a mission which we all knew could get you killed!" 

"I had to," Phantom protested, guilt warring with his growing anger. "The lives of thousands, maybe millions of people depend on Dark Spectre being stopped before he drains Zordon's powers completely." 

"And billions more would suffer, indirectly," TJ allowed. "I'm not denying that what you're doing is right--it's *how* you're doing it that I object to. Do you know Cassie uploaded that message you left to the computer terminal in her room? How many times do you think she's stayed awake, staring out at the stars, hearing your words over again and wondering if you're all right?" 

The image of Cassie doing just that sprang to mind all too easily, and Phantom couldn't stand it anymore. Slamming his fist down on the counter, he growled, "Why are you telling me this?" 

"Because she won't, and someone has to," TJ retorted. "Because every time she watches that message she hears you say, 'I'll see you soon, Cassie.' When is soon, Phantom? At her college graduation? After she's married?!" 

"Stop it!" Phantom shouted, spinning around to face TJ. "I know I've hurt her, and I am *sorry*!" 

The startled look on TJ's face made him pause, and he tried to force himself to calm down. Cassie would never forgive him if he hit one of her friends.  

Phantom took a deep breath. "I understand what you are saying--that Cassie would be better off with another…" The words hurt, all the more so because he knew they were true. "I am sure this would all be easier if you were me, and could be the person you wish I was," he added bitterly. "But you are *not* me, and there are things you do not understand." 

"No," TJ acknowledged, his voice abruptly quiet. "I'm not you. Frankly, I've been a better friend than you have. I've been there when she needed someone. I've helped her study for chemistry when she was convinced she couldn't learn it, and I've dragged her down to the beach afterwards to cheer her up. I've gone on her crazy hiking expeditions when she just needed to get away from it all. I've listened when she wanted to talk, and I've cried on her shoulder and let her cry on mine when we needed it.  

"That's what friends do, and that's what I am to her: a friend. You're the one she loves, and I don't think you appreciate how special that is." 

Phantom didn't reply right away, feeling the pieces click together in his mind. "You… like her," he observed at last. 

"We're best friends," TJ answered warily. 

"That is not what I meant," Phantom said, more convinced by that quiet recitation than he had been by all of TJ's accusations. "I did not realize--I'm sorry." 

There was silence for a moment, then TJ shrugged. "It's not your fault. That's how things worked out. I just want to see her happy." 

Phantom nodded slowly. "As do I. And--"  

He swallowed, trying to get out the hardest thing he'd ever had to say. "If there is any way she could be happy with you…" 

"She wouldn't be," TJ cut him off, and, no matter how selfish, Phantom couldn't help the twinge of relief that accompanied the other Ranger's words.  

"She's in love, Phantom, and it isn't with me." TJ regarded him steadily. "She needs *you*. All I'm trying to do is to get you to see that." 

Phantom gazed back, wondering if he could be so selfless if their positions were reversed. "Thank you," he said finally, not knowing how else to respond. "I will… think about what you have said." 

"Do that," TJ agreed. "And while you're doing that? Do yourself a favor: demorph and *sleep*. Do it so Cassie will have someone to come back to, if for no other reason." 

The Blue Ranger turned away without waiting for an answer, but he hesitated in the doorway. Looking over his shoulder, he added softly, "And Phantom? Remember how lucky you are." 

*Lucky…* The word had an ironic ring. With a slight nod, he watched TJ go.