"As I was genetically manipulating the spider plants this morning, it occurred to me to wonder
whether I have any hobbies the catholic church would approve of. I can't think of any."
1)So you know those rope challenges where you walk across a rope suspended over a river?
2)You stand on one rope and hold onto the other one at waist height?
3)Sometimes you get really lucky and there's two ropes to hold onto, one for each hand.
4)It's not actually that hard to walk on a rope, until you start thinking about it.
5)You look down at the river and all of a sudden it's like, "I'm standing on a freakin' rope!"
6)You grab the second rope a little tighter and it throws you off balance and suddenly your arms and legs are going in every direction and this thing that was so easy a few minutes ago becomes this monumentally terrifying adrenaline rush.
7)I was just thinking about that as I fell asleep last night.
8)Actually, I was thinking that life is really easy until you start questioning it.
9)You're skipping along, minding your own business, and suddenly you get a CLUE upside the head and you're like "I so did not need that!"
10)No, it's more like you're having a great time and then some insidious voice that sounds suspiciously like your high school class president, or your mother-in-law if you relate better to that stereotype, demands to know what you're doing with your life.
11)All of a sudden it's like, "Oh my god! What AM I doing with my life? What are my goals? How many small children have I saved? What makes me think I'm worthy?!"
12)That's when I thought of the extremely clever rope bridge metaphor, and how it feels when the rope under your feet moves just enough to remind you that it's there and you're sure it's not going to be enough even though it always has been before and you start grabbing for more support even though you have all you need because other people made it look so easy!
13)What? See, I was thinking that, not saying it, so I wasn't even out of breath afterward.
14)Oh, and also my pajamas have glitter on them.
Note: In response to this notice page, Suzy supplies a quote from Douglas Adams: "It is an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem. For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much - the wheel, New York, wars and so on - whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man - for precisely the same reasons."