Notice



"None but ourselves can free our minds."
--bumper sticker

1)I think maybe I need to stop trying to "help" people.
2)I should be more accepting. People are as they are, after all.
3)But then I'm like, isn't it my responsibility to do what I can?
4)And THEN I'm like, well who asked me, anyway?
5)I'm having this odd moral debate with myself this afternoon.
6)This is what happens when I take days off from work; it's a bad scene.
7)I had a dream about working too much last night.
8)Or it might have been a dream about analyzing life too much, I don't know.
9)The dream was about constructing glass skyscrapers on the beach.
10)There was a guy with long fingernails and no stairs.
11)It was a little hard to interpret, as I'm sure you can imagine.
12)Anyway, I think maybe my irritation with some people comes from their lack of gratitude.
13)Like, I just put all this energy into your life, and you don't even care.
14)But did they ask for all that energy? No. Maybe it's none of my business.
15)There's a novel thought. I like to be involved, I'm sure it doesn't show.
16)But you know what? Maybe I should be more involved with myself and less concerned about other people.
17)Humanity existed for a long time before I came along, after all.
18)But then someone will say to me, "You know, you really made a difference in my life."
19)And I'm like, "Dude, I can help people. I must have an obligation to help others."
20)But what is helping? What are our priorities? And what, really, are "others"?
21)Isn't our first obligation, if there is such a thing, to ourselves?
22)I just realized today that there are these people I feel slighted by.
23)People that I feel don't respect me enough.
24)And those are the exact same people that I don't respect.
25)People I do respect? They don't annoy me. I feel confident of their returned respect.
26)Now, I guess it's possible that I respect them because they don't annoy me, don't take me for granted or make assumptions about my life, because they in fact respect ME.
27)But I'm not so sure that that's it.
28)Because I'm pretty sure that some of their actions are indistinguishable from those of people I don't respect.
29)And yet I see those actions in a totally different light, SOLELY because I respect them.
30)Maybe I need to stop seeing people as respectable/not respectable.
31)Not needing help/needing help. Maybe some people would annoy me less if I just let them be.
32)If I respected them first, maybe I could stop worrying whether they respected me or not.

Run Away