"Isn't that a great picture?"
"Turn a black light on it and it'll glow."
"Put a match to it and it'll burn."

"In the time it took them to figure out that no, I couldn't carry my golf clubs onto the plane, the plane had left. They said they had another flight at five, and I was like, 'Las Vegas doesn't close. Just get me there.'"

"Enjoy your destination city, or, if Cleveland is your destination city... enjoy Cleveland."

"Does it matter that the gun cases are empty? Because they won't be on the way back; I'm going to Texas to get my guns."

"If you're going on, we do ask that you deplane the aircraft as their will be a change of crew. This crew is going to Montreal, not Philadelphia."

"For those of you who are outbound to Manchester this morning, the maintenance crew is on board the plane replacing a hot plug which apparently makes the coffeemaker work. They estimate a departure time of 10:50."

"In my world, you don't exist."

"I took the road less traveled and now where the heck am I?"

"I'm not messy; I'm organizationally challenged!"

"Don't straighten up the mess; you'll screw up the system!"

"I hate Alex."
"I'm trying to withhold judgement."
"Alex is a jerk."
"Well, he does have reason."
"Did I mention that I hate Alex?"
"Yeah, I think you might have said that."
"Alex is such a jerk!"
"I'm starting to lean that way too."

Run Away