"Oh my god--did you just *bite* me?!"

1)So I went over to Jaki's house.
2)I knocked on the door, but there was no answer.
3)I knocked again. There was still no answer.
4)I tried to open the door.
5)I know, but she was expecting me, so it was okay.
6)The door wouldn't open. Must be frozen, I thought.
7)I pushed harder, but it still wouldn't open.
8)Oh, I thought, I know! She latched it!
9)There's a hook and eye latch on the inside, see.
10)It's for when it gets really windy, because the door sometimes blows open.
11)But there's no way to latch it from the outside.
12)I assumed that Jaki must be there and she just didn't here me knock.
13)So I called her from my cell, but she didn't answer.
14)I called her again, thinking maybe she was ignoring the phone.
15)She still didn't answer, and I worried that perhaps she was napping.
16)But, you know, she was expecting me, so that seemed unlikely.
17)I knocked a couple more times, to no effect.
18)Well, I thought, I'm just going to have to break in.
19)They're building an addition to the house.
20)I walked around the side of the house, through the addition, and in the basement door.
21)I went upstairs, and knocked on the door at the top of the stairs.
22)I called out as I opened the door, hoping not to scare years off of anyone's life.
23)There was no one in the house.
24)Strange, I thought. How did she latch the door if she's not here?
25)I thought she might have latched it and then used the basement door, as I had done.
26)But there were no fresh tracks in the snow but mine.
27)So I went into the living room and checked the front door.
28)Imagine my complete and utter surprise when I discovered it was LOCKED!
29)Never at any point did it even occur to me that the door might be locked!
30)It's only *latched* in extreme weather. I'd forgotten it *could* be locked!
31)I don't even have a key! And I have a lot of keys.
32)So of course, Jaki returned a little while later.
33)I had to unlock the door for her.
34)She doesn't have a key either, apparently ^_^
35)"I came in through the basement," I told her.
36)"We'll have to get you a key," she replied.

Run Away