"Sometimes the good guys finish first
Sometimes your best is all it takes"
1)I got my cap and gown today.
2)And my little tassel that says "2001".
3)That amuses me up on some fundamental level.
4)That and the trouble people have giving their height.
5)The only thing we had to do to get our gowns was walk in, tell the nice guy how tall we are, and hold out our hands.
6)It was really quite straightforward.
7)But some people had a good time making it complicated.
8)For comparison, I will first relate my encounter.
"Hi. I need a cap and gown."
(guy) "How tall are you?"
(guy) "Perfect. Here you go."
(guy) "You're welcome."
9)See how incredibly easy that was?
10)Here are the two girls that came in behind me.
"Is this where we get a cap and gown?"
(guy) "Yup. How tall are you?"
(guy) "All right."
"You're not five eight!"
"I am so!"
"I'm five eight! You're so not!"
"I am with my shoes on!"
(guy) "What if you don't wear those shoes at commencement?"
"Well, I'll wear *some* shoes!"
(me) "I'll be barefoot. Will that be a problem?"
(guy) "Are you five one barefoot?"
(me) "I'm always five one."
(guy) "Then no. But I'm afraid we can't give this young lady a gown until she knows what shoes she'll be wearing."
"I'm five seven and a half without my shoes on!"
(guy) "Well that's totally different, isn't it then. We can't give you a five eight robe."
"I'll be five eight at graduation!"
"What, are you planning to grow?"
"No! I'm planning to wear my shoes!"
11)There were, of course, only three sizes of robes.
12)It was quite entertaining.
13)I also made the mistake of mentioning to Heather that I was on my way to get my cap and gown.
14)This is while I was in fact on my way, not after I had gotten it, because that wouldn't make sense.
15)I just thought I'd clear that up.
16)Anyway, I wish the people who aren't going to commencement could stop being quite so condescending about it.
17)Some of us are excited about graduating, and we don't care if it's two hours long or impersonal or a waste of time.
18)Personally, I *want* to sit out in the sun and blow bubbles and throw beachballs while important people tell me how great I am and what an honor it's been to have me at their university.
19)Hello! I've worked hard, and if they're going to throw me a party for it, then I'm sure as heck going to go!
20)I went on the senior cruise, I'm going to the senior barbecue, and I'll be at commencement this Saturday.
21)Is it childish? Well, duh! Why else is it fun?
22)Go Class of 2001, that's what I say!