Ninety Miles An Hour
by Starhawk

The susurration of the door was loud in the silent hallway, and he grimaced as it slid closed behind him. He crept toward the darkened community center, hoping anyone who was still up had better things to do than listen for passersby. Lights-out in the student wing had been more than an hour ago, and if he were caught breaking curfew there would be no end of uncomfortable questions.

The doors to the center had been locked open when the students left for the night, which was fortunate considering they made even more noise than the door to his room. The community center itself was soundproof, which didn't do him any good with the doors wide open, but he made it into the diver bay without attracting any unwanted attention.

He passed over the crew divers in favor of one of the anonymous community transports, knowing the crew markings could catch eyes that were better left uncaught. In the regular vehicle, though, he blended in with the dozen other divers flitting about the southern tip of Coralside. He slid out of the sparse traffic pattern and into an approach on the garden dome, docking the little diver in an empty berth not far from the door.

She was waiting in the shadows when he strolled out of the bay, pretending to adjust some control or other on the environmental panels. Her status as a Ranger gave her access to that sort of thing, but as soon as she caught sight of him she turned away from the system as though it were nothing more than a distraction from the wait.

He felt a smile tug at his lips at the sight of her. She seldom wore her Ranger uniform when she was working with the student crew, but the times he saw her in something other than crew coveralls were few and far between. What she wore now was nothing fancy, but she made even casual clothes look elegant. "You look beautiful," he murmured, holding out his hand to her.

A smile lit her face in return as she came toward him, and she lifted her own hand to press her palm to his. Her fingers slid in between his and he knew he had just been kissed in welcome. "Shall we go?"

"I'll race you," he offered with a grin.

Her fingers tightened on his, and that was all the warning he had before she pulled her hand free and took off. He gave chase, but he knew from experience that she was the faster of them. It was unfair, he thought, that she would be faster in the water and on land too. But she had a clear interest in letting him catch her, and before long she had slowed enough for him to overtake her.

He wrapped his arms around her from behind and she laughed as they tumbled to the ground. It was a sound he didn't hear often enough, and he grinned down at her as he struggled to catch his breath. "You're such a cheat," he scolded. Knowing that she didn't *have* to cheat only made it more exasperating.

"I know," she agreed unrepentantly, breathless only from the laughter. The race hadn't affected her in the slightest. "But you run so slowly!"

"Slowly?" he repeated, feigning indignance. "I'll show you slow!" He covered her mouth with his, kissing her with all the heat of the run and the fire of repressed passion behind it. It wasn't her custom, but as he was learning to hold hands so she was learning to kiss.

"I took you home from a party and we kissed in fun
A few stolen kisses and no harm was done"

"Slow can be good," she breathed, when finally he let her go. With a quick twist and the strength it was so easy to forget she possessed, she had rolled him onto his back. There was a look in her grey eyes that made him catch his breath, but she only lay down on his other side, her head resting on his chest. "I do not discriminate on the basis of speed."

"Good thing," he murmured, breathing shallower with her lying so close. He let her capture his right hand, and felt her tracing the outlines of his fingers as idly as though it meant absolutely nothing. He stared up at the sky, trying to ignore the tingling sensation that was spreading so rapidly across his skin. "The light is amazing tonight."

"I miss the stars," she admitted, following his gaze but not abandoning her caresses. "I wonder sometimes what it would be like to sleep underneath them outside."

"A little like this," he told her. Her fingers trailed across his palm and he felt his hand twitch. He wondered if he had made a mistake by telling her that the feeling of her hand on his didn't excite him, that where he came from it was no more than a gesture of friendship. At the time it had been true, but either she was getting better or he was getting more attuned to it, because he could feel a vague sense of restlessness growing inside him.

"No," she said skeptically. "Surely not. The stars do not move nearly so much."

"Not always," he agreed, watching the shifting patterns of phosphorescence play above the dome. He tried not to be disappointed when her fingers stilled to allow her more complete contemplation of the "sky". "But sometimes... this is kind of like a meteor shower. Only slower."

He could almost see her smile at the "slower" addendum, but all she said was, "You should see it in the springtime."

He knew without asking that the bioluminescence peaked in the spring, and would probably appear to move much faster than it did now. "I'd like to," he said quietly. Unspoken were the words, "if the crew doesn't graduate first," but there was no need to add that to an already solemn conversation.

"You will," she said firmly. "It is possibly the most beautiful sight in the world. I will not have you miss it."

He chuckled at her determination. If there were anyone who could keep the project going long enough for him to see springtime on Aquitar, it would be her. But he really didn't want to think about the long-term right now. "It can't be *the* most beautiful sight," he pointed out.

He felt her stir, lifting her head off his chest and propping herself up on one elbow. "You can think of something else?" she asked. He couldn't read her tone of voice at all, and he knew she was onto him.

He rolled over on his side and sat halfway up, smiling at her. "Of course." He reached out and ran a hand through her hair, brushing the spill of soft darkness away from her face. "You," he murmured, leaning forward to kiss her gently.

It startled him to feel her respond a little, leaning into him and letting her mouth open without prodding. Her earlier teasing must have affected him more than he realized, for at the slightest sign of a reaction he couldn't help himself. He pushed her backwards and moved in, pressing his lips hungrily against hers and feeling sensation ignite up and down his body.

She didn't resist, but he knew what was happening and he forced himself to draw back a little. "I'm sorry," he gasped, searching her expression. There was sympathy in her wide-eyed look, and he wondered what kind of longing she could read in his eyes. "I know we promised--"

"It's all right," she whispered. "You have not broken that promise."

But he had come closer than she realized. "Maybe we should..."

"Ignore it," she suggested softly. "I do not wish to leave you; not yet. Please, let us not separate so soon."

"I don't want to leave you either," he admitted, trying to catch his breath without seeming to do so. "But I don't know if I can--ignore it."

"I have faith," she said, and he tried not to sigh. She knew that would get him, every time. "We have never yet violated our agreement. I do not worry that we will do so tonight."

*I wish I didn't worry,* he thought, and from the way her lips quirked he knew she had heard. *Now that was uncalled for,* he told her, trying not to smile. *What are you doing sneaking around in my mind?*

*Listening for what you will not say,* she replied promptly, snuggling closer to him in the grass. Her voice was warm and comforting, and so close to his own thoughts that he couldn't help smiling contentedly. That was the way it was meant to be... no barriers.

*No barriers,* she agreed, reaching up to run her fingers across his face. *Someday they will all be truly gone.*

His lips parted as her fingers slide across them, and she hesitated when he kissed them softly. He kissed her fingers again when she didn't object, letting his tongue trail lightly across her skin until he could kiss her palm. He felt her tremble, making him acutely aware of how tight her body was to his--and how good it felt to be that close.

"Instead of stopping when we could we went right on
Until suddenly we found the brakes were gone"

They had assumed they were safe. No matter how attracted they were to each other, after all, their customs were simply too different. They were of different worlds, and nothing would ever change that. They had agreed to be good friends, to talk to each other about anything... and when they had first met after curfew they had done it under the guise of friendship.

There was never enough time in the day to tell each other everything they wanted to say, after all. It seemed only natural to meet when they were supposed to be sleeping, for everyone could do with a few less hours of sleep--especially when it meant time for conversations they couldn't have in public.

That had become their second justification for the illicit meetings. It was too hard to get away without raising suspicions during the day, whether there was anything going on or not. And there wasn't... or at least, there hadn't been. But they had started to save personal comments for the nighttime, when they knew they could be alone and have the freedom to say anything they wanted without the entire crew overhearing.

After a while it had seemed natural to talk about relationships, and what kind of person they were looking for. He had said that his girlfriend would have to be a good kisser, and that of course required an explanation. The explanation had turned into a demonstration, which had required a reciprocal demonstration on her part. Both had seemed harmless enough, considering their different backgrounds.

They had even fallen into the habit of exchanging the occasional hand gesture or kiss, at first as a joke and then later as a comfortable reminder of their friendship. He honestly wasn't sure when he had begun responding to the exchanges as something more; it could have been as late as tonight or as early as the first time. And he had never thought to ask how she felt about it. The closest they had ever come to a discussion of the matter had been a promise to never force their own customs on each other.

Now he was lying with her in the grass of the garden dome, long past curfew, kissing her hands and consciously reminding himself to breathe as she ran her fingers across his chest. He couldn't hold together a coherent train of thought to save his life, and all he could hope was that nothing was going to come along and ruin this perfect moment.

He was in much, much deeper than he had realized. That was the one thing that was clear in his mind right now, the single thought that was more overwhelming than her breath on his face, her silver gaze fixed on his, even than her hands on his body. Or maybe not quite... for if that were the case he thought he ought to have been able to concentrate on something other than the burning desire to have her *closer*.

As though she knew what he was thinking--and she did, sometimes--she pulled away. He could do nothing but let her go, wishing helplessly that she wouldn't. Somehow they were affecting each other, despite different practices, despite different ideas of pleasure, despite *everything*... he wanted her. And he wanted her just the way she was.

"This is not what it started out as," she said breathlessly, her gaze still locked with his. For once she was breathing as hard as he was, and he took some comfort in that.

"No," he agreed, startled by how weak his voice sounded. But when she looked at him like that... "No," he repeated, more firmly. "I suppose it isn't."

She searched his expression, her oddly expressive eyes seeking something he had no word for in his own. "And yet... you do not seem--troubled."

"No," he admitted, his voice going soft again. "I'm not... troubled. Are you?"

She frowned a little, seeming to consider her answer. "You know we should be," she said at last.

He stifled a wry smile. "We should have been troubled long before this, if that's all you mean. The rules were against any unsupervised contact at all with you guys and we've pretty much ignored that from day one."

"But before it was only unsupervised contact," she said. "Now it could be... abuse of authority."

He really tried not to laugh, because he knew how seriously she took things like honor and duty. She was a Ranger, one of the most respected people on her planet, and he was only a minor on temporary student exchange from his homeworld--but he had thought them long past letting that stand in the way. "Are you abusing your authority?" he asked, straight-out.

"Of course not." She gave him an offended look that suddenly turned uncertain. "Am I?"

He shook his head wordlessly, knowing she had just handed him the perfect opportunity. He just had to figure out everything he felt, everything she might feel, and what they could actually do about it in the space of two or three seconds, and then fit it all into a coherent sort of sentence. No problem.

In the end, it turned out to be much easier than he had thought. "I love you," he blurted out, before he could think too much about the consequences of saying it aloud.

She stared at him.

"Okay," he said a few seconds later, fighting down a wave of nervousness. "Remember how we talked about when it was good to answer right away and when it wasn't? This is definitely one of the times when I think a quick answer would be really good."

"I... am surprised," she said, clearly speaking only to fulfill his request. "I do not know quite what to say--I did not expect to hear that from you..."

When she trailed off again, he nodded in an effort to keep himself together. "Okay. Okay, right. That wasn't a good thing to say. I'll definitely try to keep that out of future conversations--"

"I love you," she interrupted, and it was his turn to be speechless.

Gazing at her, he tried to achieve some level of comprehension. It turned out to be a futile effort, and he found himself asking that most obvious of all questions: "Really?"

"Yes." She wore a small smile for his surprise. "I did not know it earlier, but when you said it I realized those were the words I had been searching for. Thank you."

"All I hear is thunder when two hearts beat
Going ninety miles an hour down a dead-end street"

"Wow." For several seconds, he couldn't think of anything better to say. "Do you... are you sure?"

She giggled at his expression, which had to be nothing short of incredulous. "I do not say things I am not sure of," she answered gently. "But I would not have been able to say it first."

"Honor," he whispered, understanding her position. No matter how well they knew each other, he still wasn't an adult by his world's standards, and her government abided by that. To speak first was to bring some kind of pressure to bear, no matter how benign one's intentions, and that was something she couldn't and wouldn't do. Just in case, she would tell him.

"Just in case," she murmured, and he smiled at the echo of his thoughts. "You see, don't you?"

"Yes," he breathed, feeling his smile widen. "I just can't believe it."

"I love you," she repeated, almost to herself. "It is strange to say it aloud."

"I like it," he said impulsively, leaning forward to kiss her. His lips just brushed hers and his heart was already racing so fast that being that close couldn't make it any worse. "I love you too. I'm just going to keep saying that until you get so sick of hearing it..."

"I will not," she whispered, gazing at him as he pulled away. "It pleases me more than I would ever have imagined."

"You please me," he whispered back, and he was rewarded by her smile. He wanted to ask what this meant, but he didn't dare. They could never have a normal relationship until he graduated, and as soon as he did he would be leaving Aquitar for Earth. How much did "I love you" mean in a situation like theirs?

"It means what it always means," she said softly, twisting to lie against him again. She stared down at his hand as she played with his fingers, not apologizing for her mental intrusion. "It means 'unconditional'."

He considered that for a moment, ignoring her skin on his as best he could. "Unconditional" was a beautiful word, and he knew he couldn't help how *he* felt... but did it mean the same thing to both of them?

She sighed a little, sounding unhappy for the first time tonight. "Must everything mean something? Can it not simply be what it is?"

*I guess it can't be anything else,* he thought involuntarily, and he felt her giggle quietly. *You've got to stop doing that,* he added, amused. *I'm not going to have any privacy around you.*

*I can not help it,* she admitted, straightening his fingers and laying her palm flat against his. He caught his breath, pressing his hand against hers and feeling her respond in kind, until he could feel her heartbeat through her fingers.

"Your lips on mine are like sweet, sweet wine
What are we going to do?"

He was so caught up in the sensation that he didn't realize anything was wrong until she stiffened. "What?" he murmured, startled when she jerked away from him and climbed awkwardly to her feet.

Then he heard it: the whisper of footsteps in the grass that sent him scrambling to his feet as quickly as her. The leader of her Ranger team regarded them impassively, waiting without a word to see if they would offer an explanation.

But there was nothing either of them could say, and they knew it. He stood beside her instinctively, knowing that to turn and leave now wouldn't help anything. The other Ranger studied him a moment longer before turning her attention back to her teammate.

"I will not be able to protect you if this becomes known." The words were curiously free of judgement; a fact had been stated and nothing more.

Her voice was proud and determined when she replied, "I do not ask anyone to protect me. I accept the consequences of my actions."

He swallowed. They had never discussed "consequences". Until tonight, he doubted either of them had believed in the seriousness of what they were doing. Until they had said the "L" word, they had been able to pretend that they were just friends breaking curfew together--not two people having an illicit student-teacher affair.

He knew now that it would likely have been interpreted that way even in the beginning. They had only been fooling themselves that nothing would come of it if they were discovered, but it had been an illusion that they both wanted to believe in. It was an illusion he wished he could *still* believe in.

The other Ranger nodded once. "Perhaps next time you will remember to make sure you are alone."

Then she was gone, and he stared after the retreating white-clad figure. "Did she just..." He couldn't finish.

"Give her approval?" Her whisper was equally disbelieving, and they exchanged wide-eyed glances.

"At least--not her *disapproval*," he offered doubtfully.

"We should go," she murmured, glancing in the direction her teammate had gone. "She is not one to walk alone."

He sighed, moving a little closer to her. "There's so much I wanted to say..."

She didn't look at him. "I should run some maintenance sweeps," she said quietly. "The teleportation lockdown on the student crew quarters has been somewhat erratic of late."

He drew back, surprised at her rebuff--until the meaning of her words sank in. "Really," he mused. "That's too bad."

"Indeed," she agreed, still not looking at him. "I have sometimes wondered if it should be tested personally."

"I think it should," he said solemnly. "That's a serious security issue."

"Do you think so?" she asked, lifting her gaze to search his.

He reached out to stroke her cheek, brushing her tousled hair back over her shoulder and then tracing the curve of her jaw back around to her mouth. "I know so," he whispered, smiling at her enchanted look.

She smiled back, reaching up to cover his hand with hers. "Then I will see to it immediately."

He twisted his hand around to wind his fingers through hers. "I'll be waiting," he promised, squeezing her fingers gently.

"Warning signs are flashing everywhere, we pay no heed
Instead of slowing down the pace we're picking up speed"

The flash of red was bright in his darkened room, and he blinked in a futile effort to clear his temporary blindness. He felt the bed shift as she sat down beside him, catching his hands in hers and twining their fingers together. He pulled her toward him instinctively and felt her lips on his before he was even aware of what was happening.

He hadn't been sure what to expect, but obviously talk was the last thing on her mind. He surrendered willingly to her insistent caress, eager to know more than what they had been able to convey with mere words. As she fell into his arms, it occurred to him that he had forgotten to lock his door... but the thought didn't last long, and soon neither of them cared.

"Disaster's getting closer every time we meet
Going ninety miles an hour down a dead end street"