Guido: "Hanson should be arriving any minute now. REDPoint on-line asked me to conduct this interview with them, so we will see how it goes.
Guido: "I think I hear them coming now."
Tay: "Hey Zack, I thought that this was supposed to be a pizza place."
Zack: "Me too!"
Guido: "Thanks for coming to our interview today, if you would please have a seat we can get started."
Tay: "Do as the crazy man says, or he may lose it."
Guido: "Well, are you ready to get started?"
Zack: "Yeah, I guess so."
Guido: "Well then, let's get down to it. How would you describe Hanson?
Tay: "We are a rock band that blends Soul and Pop into one cohesive mixture."
Guido: "How can a mixture of soul and pop be considered Rock?"
Zack: "Our publicist Charlie never answered that..."
Tay: "Uh...yeah, no comment.
Guido: "Tell us about your albums, how many do you have now?"
Zack: "Well after we released 'Happy Happy Bar Mitzvah', we decided to do a little something different. We released another holiday album."
Guido: "And how is that different?"
Tay: "Dang it Charlie, why can't you prepare us for this stuff."
Guido: "What was this next album called?"
Zack: "It was called 'Snowed In', and it sold really well. Although, not as well as 'Haircuts are for Sucks.'"
Guido: "I don't know anyone who bought it."
Tay: "Do you even know anyone?"
Guido: "I'll ask the questions thanks. Now, regarding this MMMbop thing: what does the name mean? It was the song that gave you your first big break, right?
Zack: "Yeah, we really hit it big with MMMbop."
Tay: "Then Charlie said that we were a 'flash in the pan,' and we needed to release more stuff before our popularity waned."
Zack: "At one point in the song, we say: 'in an MMMbop they're gone.' That refers to our careers."
Tay: "But Charlie said that we may be able to do some Vidal Sasoon commercials, or sing for McDonald's birthday parties."
Guido: "I have mine there every year, sometimes some of the employees even come. But enough about me, what is with those ridiculous haircuts? Are you purposefully trying to look like Shirley Temple, or is it a weak marketing attempt to try and make you look like skaters or posers."
Zack: "We are not posers, if you have seen the MMMbop video, it is clear to see that we are rollerblading."
Tay: "All of us were really impressed with the Computer animation in those segments."
Guido: "Some people have said that the Jennifer Aniston 'Friends' hairstyle was also a flash in the pan. Is your insistence on using this hairstyle a statement on your popularity?"
Ike: "I'll handle this one guys. We have worked hard to reach the level of success that we have achieved today. The early years of playing at preschools and playgrounds are over. We could tell our music was reaching a new level of maturity when they asked us to play on 'Barney.'
Guido: "It must have sucked when Barney's 'I Love You' song upstaged your entire performance."
Tay: "The maturity is there Guido, it's there."
Zack: "Well put Tay, well put."
Guido: "So have you gotten any advice from other celebrity singers, thanks to your colossal success?"
Ike: "Kenny Rogers invited us over to his restaurant and gave us this
advice:
'You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to
walk away, know when to run.'"
Zack: "That's the best advice on my paper route I have ever received. I've been chased by many a dog."
Guido: "Uh..yeah, so what are you doing to insure your continued popularity?"
Tay: "Well, like we said before, we don't think that less is more. We think just the opposite: more is less. Or wait..."
Zack: "What Tay is trying to say is 'more is more'. More albums = more money."
Guido: "What is the next album called?"
Ike: "Extortion--featuring the smash hit remix of 'Take the Money and Run.' Followed by the record : 'Posers R 'Us'.
Guido: "You know what, I'm sick of this whole thing. Your band sucks, all 500 of your albums suck, your haircuts suck, this interview is over."
Ike: "We don't take talk like that do we guys!?"
Tay: "Well said Ike, well...I mean NO!"
Zack: "Get him guys."
Guido: "Well it appears that Hanson is mad as hell, and they are not going to take it anymore. Back to you REDPoint. Ahhhhh!"
Ike: "In Cyberspace, no one can hear you scream!"
REDPoint: Thank you for that enlightening interview Guido. Coming up next, the exclusive story of Hanson's riot in the streets. It seems as though they are kicking the living MMMbop out of the citizens of Los Angelos. I haven't seen anything like it in years.
*Even though it was made up, and it was from a "Hanson-hater", I think it was funny.
~Jayme
