"Feliz Navidad, Joker."

The Joker looked up and saw Carlos walking past the med room window. He was a big man from Puerto Ricco, gentle as a lamb until the voices kept him awake too long. Then he would check himself into the psych unit and wonder the halls until the sedation kicked in.

"Feliz Navidad, Carlos. Como esta este noche?"

Carlos smiled. The Joker's heavily accented spanish was clumsy at times and, try as he mite, the Joker still sounded like John Wayne when he spoke it. But at least he tried and the Puerto Ricans appreciated that.

"Mi madre es en mi cuarto," Carlos said excitedly. "Mi madre venga aqui por la Navidad."

He was hallucinating about his beloved and long dead mother again. The textbook would have instructed the Joker to re-orient Carlos to reality- to tell him that his mother was dead and not in his room. The Joker had thrown the textbook away a long time ago. Tonite Carlos should visit with his mother.

"Esta bien, Carlos. Es maravilloso vere usted su madre este noche. Diga Feliz Navidad por mi."

"Si Joker, yo dire," he promised and hurried on down the corridor. At that moment his smile was as brite as any Christmas star.

A guitarist on the radio began to play "I'll Be Home For Christmas." That song always reminded the Joker of lonely GI's, weary and cold on the front lines a half-century ago. He thought about Spiral waiting for him in Hamden an hour to the east. He could feel her love reaching out to him across that cold, silent nite. It arrived on the soft guitar chords of an ancient Christmas carole and filled the little room with love and contentment. He allowed it to wrap around his heart and cuddle it gently

Three hours later he drove over the quiet, snow covered streets of Bridgeport towards the parkway. As he passed thru the britely decorated neighborhoods he thought about how wonderful this Christmas season had been. November had been a little ruff with the p-o-s mazda needing expensive repair and Spiral's health turning bad again. It broke her heart to, once again, put her plans for work and school aside because of her illness. Sick as she was, she still managed to make her famous, garlic-stuffed turkey for Thanksgiving and then begin their Christmas holidays with a trip down to Gilberti's Nursery in Westport.

World famous Gilberti's had decorated their main greenhouse in a holiday style and carolers sang while the staff handed out Christmas cookies. They bought a rosemary topiary shaped like a Christmas tree and some overpriced herb seedlings. Later that week, the Joker strung lites about the apartment while Spiral unpacked their holiday orniments. A few days later they drove out to Branford, a pleasent little town on the coast east of New Haven decorated for the season. There, they found a tree farm where they could pick out and cut their own tree and receive a 12 inch sappling to plant in the spring. Afterwords, they stood around a wood stove, warming their hands and feet, and drank hot chocolate. Two weeks before Christmas, they drove upto Capralands Herb Farm east of Hartford and wondered around the snow covered grounds in subfreezing temperatures before picking out some fine herbs from their festive greenhouse. Also that week, Spiral made some riccota pies, Christmas cookies and other seasoal delites and they even managed to catch a few holiday specials on tv. Tomorrow, Christmas Eve, they were going over to the State Street neighborhood east of Yale University to buy their gifts for each other from the little shops over there. It had been their best Chrstmas in years.

The Joker turned onto the parkway and left Bridgeport for the long drive thru the countryside. The weather had cleared and starlite reflected britely off the new snow. In the distance he could see decorated homes glowing magically and he thought of the little children inside, tucked into their beds with sugar-plum visions. His own childhood memories of Christmas were musical. His mother was the church choir director and music was central to his family's holiday celebration. In later years, alone and far from home, he always worked double shifts thru the holidays to keep busy and sang Christmas songs to himself at nite before falling asleep. But now he had Spiral and had insisted on spending Christmas Eve with her. She always missed her father the most on Christmas Day. The Christmas she remembered best was the first one she celebrated in the French Quarter. There, with little money and a lot of friends she had a most magical holiday. While she was baking cookies in her little kitchen, a gang of pirates showed up at her door with a tree they stole from the French Market and put it up in the middle of her room. While it was being decorated by street artists, a family of gypsies stopped by with a cooked turkey that somehow fed 40 people. After dinner, while Santa Claus sat by the old fireplace, a heart broken muscian picked up a guitar for the first time in years and played classical music for hours. Her little apartment was packed with people and when she was finished baking they each took a plate of cookies down to the street and passed them out to everyone.

The Joker pulled off the parkway into Hamden well after 1am. The little town had gone to sleep hours ago- not even the plows were out. He drove thru the empty town center under the pine boughs and Christmas lites swaying in the cold December wind. It was dark in the parking lot outside the apartments and the only lited window was theirs.

It was cold, probably 15 degrees, and very windy. He stood next to the car and looked up at the lites he had strung. In his heart he pictured their apartment, its walls sheltering all that he loved in the world. He stood there for 15 minutes, the wind slicing thru his clothes and chilling him to the bone. He began to shiver. He waited as long as he could stand it- the coldness turned to pain and then to numbness. Ice formed on his beard and his eyes began to sting. Finally he couldn't stand it further and headed for the stairs up to the apartment, his hands and feet numb, and almost lost his balance on the icy steps. He paused in front of the wreath hanging from their door and fumbled for his keys, dropping them twice into the snow. Finally he got the door open and stepped into the warmth.

"Merry Christmas, Spiral," he shouted through frozen lips. She appeared above him in the loft like a Christmas angel.

"Merry Christmas, Joker."

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