4/96- Westport, Ct

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The Joker sat on the seawall at low tide and dug his bare foot into the cold sand. Spring had finally broken thru winter's curtain and his day promised a glorious drive down the shore. The seasonal crowd would begin to gather on the Connecticut coast of Long Island Sound within the month and behind him a robin was desperate in search of a summer rental.

He had been thinking of 5th season Simpson's Show that re-ran the nite before. It was the one were Bart escapes from a field-trip to a cardboard factory and sneaks into Krusty the Klown's show and becomes Krusty's assistant. Bart is launched into instant catch-phrase stardom after he accidently wrecks a set on live TV and utters "I didn't do it". With fame, Bart free spirit becomes stiffled yet he is saddened by its fickle nature.

Lisa moralizes him. "And now," she says"You can go back to being you instead of a one-dimensional characture with a silly catch-phrase."

But sadly, only she really knows, that they are all just charactures in a cartoon.

The Joker's thoughts were interrupted by the defiant trumpet-howl of Gizmo. The little beast-dog burst from the back door of the beach house and charged a flock of seagulls settled along the seawall. Spiral followed after him with his leash and they had to chase it around the beach, finally cornering it next to a tidel pool, still too cold to enter.

An hour later they were on the road. Fresh from expensive repair the P O S mazada buzzzed down I-95 leaving the freeway at the Stamford exit just south of Bridgeport. They found Hwy 1, the "King's Hwy" and traveled south into the land of wealthy private estates nestled along scenic coves and hillocks. Westport, for all intents, is a suburb of the great New York City and its high taxes and strict zoning have made it a refuge for rich commuters doing their business in the City. But it is also a quant town, favored by artists, actors and writers hanging out among the many nice resturants and shops along the harbor.

Their first stop was a little general store a few blocks off from where the Hwy passes thru. The grocery clerk was dressed in a red warehouse apron and an old fashioned bow tie. He was waiting on two young wealthy women Spiral recognized as Tatum O'Neil and Oksana Biaul. They had just purchased an expensive bottle of gin and bumped Spiral as they were leaving . "Excuse us," they giggled.

Spiral noticed several bins of fresh produce and went to look for tomatos. The Joker saw Paul Newman stacking jars of salad dressing onto wall-shelves and went over to say "hi."

Marlo Thomas and Phil Donehue came around a display of canned soup and joined Spiral by the produce. Martha Stewart came up suddenly and tried to explain a good thing about raw ginger. Marlo, having long resented the way Martha allowed her chickens to roost freely about the neighborhood took a swing at her with a sturdy french loaf of bread. Martha ducked and countered with a bag of onions while Phil looked to sky. "Are you there caller?" he prayed.

The Joker watched in horror as his fearless wife ducked flying produce and scrambled around the side of a cooler full of fresh New Engalnd dairy products. Paul has been explaining to him that, by seeking out a caller for help, Phl was following a Greek philosophical tradition of seeking answers thru proper questioning. The Joker hadn't been sure about that but those thoughts were forever lost to his mind when two of the meanest cowboys he'd ever seen came thru the front door.

The room became silent and still as the Imus brothers, dressed in black leather dusters and 10 gallon Stetsons stood motionless, side by side. Don Imus' graveyard stare froze the Joker's soul as it iced the room. Fred Imus had a twin rig of .44's slung low around his skinny hips and his little brother held a brace of pistol-grip sawed offs. The unmistakeable sound of a rifle bolt chambering a big bullet cracked the stillness from the back of the store and all eyes turned to see Don Imus' side-kick Charles McCord line the sites of a hi-powered Winchester even with Marlo's forehead. They were surrounded.

"That'll be fine," the I-Man said evenly with his gravel voice drawl.

"We're looking for Geraldo," said Fred.

"He ain't here, Imus" the little grocery clerk responded. "Now you leave my customers be."

Don Imus looked once more around the store, and then, on his signal, the Imus gang backed on out the front door, nearly knocking over Charles Grodin. The Joker could tell by the way Imus and Grodin looked at each other that there was some unfinished business between the two men but it would not be settled that day.

"Grodin," Imus growled as he walked by.

"Donald," Charles Grodin responded with a cold stare.

And then they were gone.

Before the stunned room could react, Spiral grabbed the Joker's arm and the two travelers ran out the back door, down the alley and around the corner to where they had left Gizmo in the car. They took I-95 straight home.

As they miles fell away the Joker sunk deep into thought. He wondered about the people they had met during the last year of travel. He and Spiral had been strangers passing thru their lives and in a few weeks, Spiral and the Joker would be off to meet new people and revisit some old friends. The Joker's thoughts were of how to best thank them all for their generous gifts of friendship. He wanted to remember them just as they were- people trying to make their way as best they can.

"What're you thinking about?" Spiral asked the Joker, concerned about the troubled look on his face.

"If someone was watching you, every move that you made, and writing it all down for everyone to read- would you live your life any differently?"

"No," she answered without hesitation.

And that was why he loved her.