The Entity Known As Jason
Hello. My name is Jason Frederick Lawrence Barrett, but I take on other names such as "Toes" or "Bond", but there are diffrent stories to each of those. I go to Hudson High School, a pretty crappy school but pretty fun at the same time. At the moment, I have no such desire to pass any grade, because think about it, we only live once to recall, why waste it paying 20 years to education? I know all I need to, and if any of you object, go screw yourself, cause basically i dont need to know anything more, i know too much currently. I may not have many friends, but it's not like I give a shit. Anyone can think of me the way they want, I don't care one little bit. I'm constantly taunted by people by so many reasons, such as the fact I wear black nail polish and i dress in the morbid theme just about every day. I laugh at anyone who laughs or offends me because they are too immature to know that people are all dissimilar, and they cant accept change.
My best friends; Luke,Craig, Carol, Megan, Brent and Nikii. I prefer to call them best friends becasue they were the ones who helped me through my severe depression in the summer of '98. Now, we're slowly fading away from eachother. Maybe it's the fact that I quit smoking and can't stand to see them ruin their lives like that, or maybe just because I'm trying to avoid them because my feelings are easily disturbed and I sink into a thought process, which other people call depression. Any way you put it, I'm so disturbed that they are slipping away, but hey, maybe it just has to do that I'm not a good friend, i have no fucking clue. Oh well, I'm used to being alone. It REALLY hurts, but, thats life.............what can ya do?
As told by many people, I am basically the following...: Caring, sweet, gentle, kind-hearted, friendly and full of love. I agree with some of it, but not really. You see, I am a very difficult person to be with. Everyone says its not true, but I think I get boring after a short period of time, so I just walk away and do something by myself. That could be one of the reasons that everyone called me a loaner in elementary... I've always been a lonely boy, but my mom compinsated for all of it by giving me the love I needed. (Love you mom!) My dad hasn't been as close as iI want, but I still love him alot too.
Other facts are that I am obsessed with darkness... the fact of death lurking in the shadows is very appealing. I wish i were a vampire, slowly draining the blood ot of my victims, and leading the life of eternal damnation and solitude. but wait a minute, isn't that what my life is like now???
I went to a psychiatrist about... a year and a half ago? anyways, she has anounced that I have the tendancies of a manic-depressive. I agree. I'm always in a depressed mood because I am obviously not an optimist. why should i waste my time being happy when i can think about life and its problems and how to slove them?Oh, and if anyone I know is reading this, I would just like to apologize for my constant behavior... I know its hard to put up with me, but at least you don't outcast me... well, not that much anyways.
some of my hobbies are drawing, mountain and speed biking, collecting stamps (dont laugh, I have like 7000$ worth)
Another one of my new found hobbies is meditating in front of the flame of a candle, that way I obtain powers no one can understand.... I also like gazing into the sky at night and looking at the stars. The stars have powers over most, thats why we are mesmorized by them. My personal star is the last one on the handle of the big dipper, just cause its given me the most luck. Another hobby and anti-depressant of mine is Alcohol. Usually it makes me more depressed, but whoop de doo. I think there is a 50/50 chance of me bing either happy or sad when I drink, so thats why I do it. I dont do drugs anymore because I made a promise, and i dont want to harm my lungs.
Although I wish I was a shroom head, and I wanna try out LSD.
If you people know me, then you should know i live on my own free will. If i needed to die, i would. the problem is I'm afraid i may be immortal until the day i am supposed to rot in a box. and that isnt a great feeling. I'm not scared of death, what is there to be scared of? think about it.
well, I think I've said enough about myself, so I would like to give a shout to Carol, Craig, Niki, Megan, Luke, Brent, and my 'net buddies Allison, Meg, Char and Jeni. Toodles...
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