Hi, earthlings! My name is Freddie Cazookifalaka. You probably think that aliens live their lives very differently from earthlings, but that is true. Let me tell you a little about myself.
Since I was a child, I always wanted to be a bazookivalooki , that's a explorer of the universe in Uranineese, a language. I'm from Uranus if you didn't know! Well I'm 168 in earth years and about 2 in Uranus years. Uranus the planet circles the sun every 84 earth years. I'm lucky to even live this long. Most aliens on my planet die after one year on my planet. That is why I am called the wise one. Most aliens on my planet haven't lived that long and I'm one the oldest. I know things from times gone by.
I'm married to Cary Salakfagettsi. She is not as old as me. She is only 100 in earth years but I know that she's wise beyond her years by the way she talks to me. One of the wisest things she ever told me is, "Keep your mouth closed when you're talking." She has taught me to talk with my ears and then that way it won't make me tired. I love her.
Well as a job, I'm an explorer of the universe and I have discovered many things. I have finally found bacteria on Mars, yet I haven't found any creatures yet. So far I know that there are creatures on Earth, Jupiter, and Uranus. Through my super duper telescope I've been observing the jerky movements of Pluto. It looks as though there is a planet or something close to Pluto that is trying to pull Pluto in with its gravity. Maybe it's Planet X the scientists on Earth have been talking about. We all know that Pluto couldn't possibly end our solar system circle. Maybe it's the next solar system? Who knows?
Well one of the things I love to do in my spare time is to moontan. Our huge planet has 15 moons and I love to moon bathe. When I moontan. Moontans always make me sparkle and look paler than before. I hate my natural scale color. I'm naturally dark blue and so when I go to moontan I turn light blue and it looks very nice. Many times I go on vacation to go have a tan on different moons. each moon has their own nice talent in moontans.
Well i have many jobs. My other main job I do is to put people in the gas chamber. Our planet is mainly made of gases, if you breathe any of that gas it will make your scales fall off and turn orange. Orange on our planet is an evil color and if you do turn orange you'll be sent into space and you'll never return. Of course you'll be very lonely but we sent a lifetime of food forever. We only put creatures in gas chambers when they have done something especially bad.
My favorite food is brakepecks, a kind of combination of chocolate, cotton candy, and banana. You Earthlings, probably have never heard of them. Well they are very hard to grow in Saturn. Saturn has no creatures found yet but they have the best gas to grow brakepecks.
Cary, my wife has just given birth to my baby. Her name is Crocher. Crocher is half a year old in Earth years. Her color is purple. I'm blue and her mother is red so it equals purple! But Crocher has had many strange habbits. She rips her eye out of her socket sucks on it and then puts it in her socket. That would be gross to Earthlings but in Uranus it would mean that it's very disrespectful. We're only supposed to take our eyes out when we pray for Grayser, our grasshopper who makes it fire for us. Fire helps keep our planet running.
Shirley has just suggested to me that I should start a journal, so they you earthlings will learn more about me and my daily life. To read my journal click here
Well i hope you had a nice time learning about my alien life and now back to... A Space Place
