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about me and the oompa loompas
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the history of the oompa loompa

Oompa Loompas are a race of people originally from a small country called Loompa Land, its location is so secret that I would have to kill anyone who found out where it is. They are very short (almost all Oompa Loompas are under 5 feet tall) and often plump individuals that have green and orange colored hair. They talk in very unique voices, ranging from very high to very low pitched. They often use these voices to sing songs, which always have morals within the lyrics. Being very a peaceful society, they never resort to any type of violence and are nice to all creatures.

Not all creatures are nice to the Oompa Loompas however. Currently a horrible Civil War is taking place in Loompa Land. The Horn Swagglers, the Rotten Vermicious Kinids, and the Swangdoodles took up arms against the Oompa Loompas. These three horrible groups realized that the Oompas Loompas are very easy to take advantage of since they are a harmless, peaceful race of people. They beat-up, tortured, and devoured the Oompa Loompas on a daily basis. This continued until an English businessman named William Wonka offered salvation for the Oompa Loompas by offering them jobs in his chocolate factory located in England. They gladly accepted Wonka's offer, for it would give them a ticket out of Loompa Land, away from the horrific war. What they didn't know were the plans that Wonka had in store for them.

At first, the work at the chocolate factory seemed like a good idea for the Oompa Loompas. But they soon grew to hate the environment that Wonka provided them with. Wonka forced them to work 16 hour-a-day shifts with no pay and no break period. When they were allowed break time to rest and sleep they had to live in a small room that was filled with disgusting rats and other nasty creatures. The "good life" that was promised to the Oompa Loompas had quickly turned into slave labor. Wonka was often very destructive and violent. It was not uncommon for him to beat and torture Oompa Loompas who made mistakes or failed to meet his Nazi-like standards and requirements.

As hard as it is to fathom, life back in Oompa Loompa land was worse than the life that Wonka was forcing the Oompa Loompas to live, so they had no other choice than to remain under the control of the demented Wonka. They continued to do their amazing work, always producing candy at a rate that a group of humans 100 times their number couldn't even dream of accomplishing. When Wonka talked about the Oompa Loompas publicly he always made them out to be idiotic drones that were capable of nothing besides simple, easy tasks. He often compared their intelligence level to that of a donkey and never told anyone that the Oompa Loompas actually were real people with real feelings and emotions. He convinced the world that the Oompa Loompas were merely objects and that the success of the chocolate factory had nothing to do with them. Wonka kept the true existence of the Oompa Loompas a secret from the rest of the world because he knew that if anyone found out how he was treating them attempts would be made to spring them free.

The cruelties continued on for many years against the Oompa Loompas and after many Wonka-induced atrocities towards their society they decided that it was time to break free from his deathly grasp. They began formulating a plan for Wonka's demise.

After several weeks of planning, the Oompa Loompas finally came up with an idea. During the mixing stage of making Wonka Brand Chocolate, it is essential that the chocolate mix be heated to 300 degrees Fahrenheit. Since Wonka's factory mass produces candy, the main vat is over 30 feet wide and 20 feet deep. While the Oompa Loompas were stirring the mix, they told Wonka that they had found a strange discoloration in the chocolate and that he should come look at it. When Wonka walked over and peeked into the vat to check it out, one of the Oompa Loompas took the large mixing spoon and struck Wonka with it, knocking him into the boiling chocolate. All the Oompa Loompas gathered around the vat and watched Wonka drown and burn in his own chocolately evilness.

Now that they were free from their dictator's grasp, the Oompa Loompas decided immigrating to free America would be the best idea for their society. Once in America, they found that getting a job and earning respect was next to impossible due to the horrible and untrue reputation that Wonka had labeled them with. They were known throughout the country as stupid individuals who had the intelligence equivalent to that of pond scum. They were also made fun of for their different and unique appearance, which society did not accept. They are thought of as animals with no real purpose. They are also subject to cruel mistreatment and are denied any rights, freedoms, or liberties. It was not uncommon to hear of Oompa Loompas being beaten, abused, raped, and murdered.

Most of them have given up all hope of being recognized and respected as real people and have gone back to Loompa Land. A few still remain in America, determined to one day have their race granted citizenship and become accepted by others. Until this day they will fight to the best of their abilities for they have fought way to hard and have been through way to much to give up now. At the bottom of every Oompa Loompa's heart there burns a desire for a civilized existence.


If you have any more information that you would like me to verify with the royal oompish historian, please email me.