Oh Angelina Jolie, is there anything your boobies can't do? Right off the top, I've never seen the original Tomb Raider, so if the plots are connected like The Matrix, I'm simply fucked.
This is the part of the review where I'm supposed to mention the plot and give some insight into the movie. Here's the problem, I didn't understand it at all, I missed the first 15 minutes as I gawked at Miss Jolie's gorgeous cans. So here's what I can remember. The boobies were used as flotation devices at some point. Other than that, the movies was pretty much useless. Pretty much the only thing that worked for me (boobies) in this movie was the villian. I don't remember his name for some reason boobies but if I remember it, I'll let everyone know. Long story short, between punching a shark in the face, and flying with parachute suits, and my personal favorite, a cameo from the talking trees in LOTR:Two Towers, this boobies in a word was heinous. Not even worthy of my witty comments. So this movie gets 3 boobies out of 10.