The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Ah, yes. The remake. Or, as they're calling it nowadays, the 're-imagining'. Now, people are remaking movies that don't need to be remade. Tim Burton re-imagined Planet of the Apes a few years ago, and it was ass. I am a huge Apes fan, but i'm a fan of the original pulp series, not that shit he did.
I have not seen the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I know, as a fan of all things not normal, I should have seen that classic slasher flick. But, like I've told y'all before, I never really was a fan of the slasher genre. I say was, because after seeing some good ones lately (Freddie VS Jason, Jason X) I'm thinking of investigating more.
So, I went into this re-imagining of possibly one of the most beloved slasher films hoping for some grisly death and a few cheap scares. Plus, Jessica Biel running around in a white tank top and all the perks contained therein. I was not dissapointed.
Five young teenagers, going to a Lynard Skynard concert, nearly run over a girl in the backwoods of Texas. They pick her up, and she begins to babble and cry, and then she blows her own head off. They stop and call the sheriff, but he can't meet them. They are supposed to go to another place to meet the sheriff. They go, and wait for the sheriff.
Biel and her boyfriend go off to look for a phone. That's when we see the house. The boyfriend gets nabbed by the infamous Leatherface, and Biel leaves without knowing. Meanwhile, the Sheriff, a perfect R. Lee Ermey, freaks out the other kids. When Biel gets back, he's gone, and they start looking for her boyfriend.
That's when it all goes to shit. Everyone they meet is part of this inbred clan of killers, all centered around Leatherface. And like all slasher villians, this one is afflicted with a horrible disease. He has a flesh disease and keeps getting people for his face and other body parts.
Everyone dies a horrific chainsaw death, except Biel, who gets her white tank-topped self into more than one wet or cold situation. She manages to escape, and even cuts off Leatherface's arm. It is a tour-de-force performance.
Now, it was a slasher flick. I enjoyed it so much though. I am so desensitized, that I was laughing in joyous glee at the carnage. That's when some uptight girl ylled out "It's not a comedy!". That made me laugh even harder. So, I'm gonna give this a 9. So awesome.
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