The Compassionate Friend
I can tell by that look friend, that you need to talk,
So come take my hand and let's go for a walk.
See, I'm not like the others; I won't shy away,
Because I want to hear what you've got to say.
Your child has died and you need to be heard.
But they don't want to hear a single word.
They tell you your child's "with God", so be strong.
They say all the "right" things that somehow sound wrong..
They're just hurting for you and trying to say
They'd give anything to help take your pain away.
But they're struggling with feelings they can't understand,
So forgive them for not offering a hand.
I'll walk in your shoes for more than a mile.
I'll wait while you cry and be glad if you smile
I won't criticize you or judge you or scorn,
I'll just stay and listen 'till your night turns to morn'.
Yes, the journey is hard and unbearable long
And I know that you think that you're not quite that strong.
So take my hand 'cause I've got time to spare,
And I know how it hurts, friend, for I have been there....
See, I owe a debt you can help me repay.
For not so long ago, I was helped the same way.
And I stumbled and fell thru a world so unreal
So believe me when I say that I know how you feel.
I don't look for praise or financial gain
And I'm sure not the kind who gets joy out of pain.
I'm just a strong shoulder who will be there 'till the end.
Someone who will be your compassionate friend.
By: Steven L Channing, Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada..
The Compassionate Friends is an organization founded,organized, and ran by bereaved parents.
It is a National Organization with chapters all over the United States
And is a non profit organization ran on donations alone.
TCF changed my life. I was first introduced to TCF when my Mother who is an educator talked to her school
counselor about what had happened to our family.
He was familiar with TCF and gave her the address..
She called and started having the National TCF Newsletter sent to my home.
That was only about 6 weeks after Scotty was killed. The newsletters came and were an incredible comfort to me.
I learned there was a website for TCF (www.compassionatefriends.com),
so I decided to log on and see what that was all about.
I was only about 2 months into my grief at this point, and completely numb.
I went into a chat room where I met several parents.
Some were newly bereaved, some were not. They all had one thing in common though,
They had all lost a child and they all had been where I was, or were there with me.
I was welcomed with open arms into this alumni that none of us wanted to belong to, but were grieving hand in hand.
I was aching for support and I received it there. I have continued to receive an outpouring of love and support from everyone at TCF.
I regularly enter chat rooms to speak to other bereaved parents,
I also attended meetings at the local chapter in Manteca.
I attended TCF national conference in Chicago June 29th through July 2nd.
I spent that weekend with 1500 grieving parents who all knew how I felt.
I went to workshops on learning to live again after the loss of a child.
I heard many sad stories as well as many inspiring stories.
I learned that the TCF motto was so true. It reads "We Need Not Walk Alone, We are the Compassionate Friends."
That weekend changed my life. I understand now that although my pain runs so deep sometimes
I feel like I am drowning and other times I feel like I am being chipped away a piece at a time
until there is nothing left, that I will be OK one day.
My life will never be the same, it will be different, but it will be ok.
I have met many people who were able to give me the hope that I needed to know that there is a
future out there for me. I know this to be true because these people have been there
and share my pain in a way no one else can.
TCF is a priceless gift that has been given to me, and to all bereaved parents.
It is an organization I support and will continue to support.
If you are a bereaved parent who has not yet contacted The Compassionate Friends,
I strongly urge you to do that now. You can link to the above address and find a TCF
Chapter in your area. IF there isn't one in your area, call the closest one
And ask that they start sending you their monthly newsletter.
Also the National office has a magazine that goes out 4 times per year.
You can order that through their website, and also link to many other grief sources.
I hope that warm memories of our children will always see us through
But with the help of parents who have been where we are,
We may be able to see brighter days and hopeful tomorrows...
