Control Over the Good and Bad

           Love-shy men do not feel as though they enjoy any significant
degree of control over the impressions other people have of them. I
asked each man: "How much control do you think you have over the
good things that happen to you in life?" And 100 percent of the non-
shys thought that they enjoyed a good deal of control over what hap-
pened to them. In contrast, only 40 percent of the younger love-shys
and just 27 percent of the older love-shys thought that they had any
significant amount of control at all over the good things that happen to
them in life.
     The story remained much the same when I asked: "How much
control do you think you have over the bad things that happen to you
in life?" Only 6 percent of the older love-shys together with 25 percent
of the younger love-shys thought that they had any control at all. In
contrast, 73 percent of the non-shys thought that they had a substantial
amount of control over the bad things that happen to them in life.
     Of course, this 73 percent figure is a good deal lower than the 100
percent figure that applied to control over the good things that happen
in life. This would seem to reflect the fact that even non-shy, happy,
well-adjusted people typically feel that they enjoy less control over the
bad which might happen than over the good.