Distinguishing Heterosexuals from Homosexuals

     In order for my research to make any sense at all I had to be certain
that my samples of love-shy men did not include any homosexuals
among their ranks. This is an important issue because young men who
are heterosexually inactive and who do not participate in conventional
courtship activities are often viewed as being homosexual.
     Today most social scientists are in agreement that the following
four criteria accurately distinguish heterosexuals from homosexuals:

      (1) In order for a person to be considered a heterosexual he must
            agree that throughout his life his romantic infatuations (roman-
            tic fantasies and daydreams) had always been directed towards
            people of the opposite sex rather than towards people of his
            own sex. Even during the earliest years of elementary school,
            homosexuals tend to have romantic daydreams about loving
            and being loved by attractive male classmates. In contrast, het-
            erosexuals have romantic fantasies about pretty girl classmates.
      (2) Heterosexuals always fantasy being with a female partner, never
            a male partner, whenever they masturbate. In contrast, the 
            homosexual always fantasies being with a male partner when-
            ever he masturbates.
      (3) In order for a person to be a heterosexual he must very strongly
            prefer the idea of having sexual intercourse with a woman to
            the idea of having sex with a man. (All of the love-shys studied
            for this book were virgins; none had ever been to bed with
            anyone of either gender.)
      (4) In order for a person to be a true heterosexual he must define
            himself (self-image) as a heterosexual, and not as a homosexual
            or bisexual.

      Early in each interview questions were asked that were of perti-
nence to each one of the four foregoing points. If a respondent displayed
any ambivalence with respect to any of the four issues the interview
was terminated. In other words, respondents whose heterosexuality was
in doubt were simply not used.
      Interestingly, 94 percent of the love-shy men who were interviewed
for this study turned out to be strong believers in homosexual rights.
Yet at the same time every single man interviewed for this study indi-
cated disgust at the mere thought of kissing or making love to another
man. In this regard criterion #3 was a good deal more than satisfied.
These love-shy men did not merely "prefer" the idea of making love to
a woman over the idea of making love to a man. Loving and romancing
a beautiful woman was the only thing many of these deprived men ever
seemed to think about in their almost incessant fantasies and daydreams.
And the idea of doing these things with another man was something
which none of the 300 love-shy men whom I interviewed could even
fathom.
     With regard to points #1 and #2, social scientists have learned in
recent years that romantic interests and fantasies crop up in most people's
lives a good deal earlier than do sexual interests and fantasies. In fact,
most Americans commence their strong romantic interests in members
of the opposite sex some time during their elementary school years.
Moreover, these romantic interests and fantasies appear to be very heav-
ily affected by esthetic considerations, whereas burgeoning sexual inter-
ests in males appear to be little affected by esthetics. For example, the
nine-year old boy has fantasies about befriending and spending time
with the pretty nine-year-old female classmate: never the female classmate
who is "less than pretty".
     Studies of the childhoods of hundreds of homosexuals have revealed
that most homosexuals had begun becoming infatuated with the "pretty
faces" of certain boys some time around the ages of ten or eleven. At
such early ages sex tends to be pretty well removed from a boy's con-
scious awareness; this is as true for homosexual boys as it is for heter-
osexual boys. At such early ages most pre-homosexuals had never even
heard of the word "homosexual", and had no idea as to what it meant
or that they were displaying interest patterns which placed them in that
social category.
     An identifying feature of most of the love-shy men studied for this
book was that throughout their formative years they neither enjoyed
nor fantasized about either being with or playing with members of their
own gender. They did not enjoy the "rough and tumble" play style of
their fellow boys. And in addition to their distaste for the rougher play
of the all-male peer group, a key reason for their wanting to avoid the
all-male peer group was the fact that it did not contain "any pretty
people".
     Heterosexual love-shy males appear to develop a sense of beauty
significantly earlier in life than do most people of either gender. And
this predilection for the enjoying of beauty seems to become a driving
and heavily preoccupying need for many of them. Several of the love-shys
told me that even when they were third grade youngsters they could
remember not being able to concentrate on what the teacher was talking
about because they were off in a world of rewarding bliss wherein they
were enjoying the loyal and steadfast companionship of a very pretty
little girl who was one grade below them--in the second grade.
     This very early need for the intense companionship of an opposite
sexed age-mate is something which scholars have never found to prevail
in the backgrounds of male homosexuals. Pre-homosexual little boys
very often do become romantically and esthetically fixated upon other
pretty little boys. In essence, the pre-homosexual little boy never chooses
a little girl to daydream and fantasize about.
     One of the strongest indicators of male homosexuality is that of
being more interested in sex play with boys than with girls: 78 percent
of adult homosexuals in one study said that they had felt this way as
children, whereas 82 percent of adult heterosexuals said that they had
not felt this way as children. In the current study upon which this book
is based, not one love-shy man out of the 300 surveyed had had any
preference at all during childhood for sex play with boys over sex play
with girls. Furthermore, not a single one of the 300 love-shys had had
any actual sex play experience during childhood or adolescence with a
member of either gender. As children many of the men I interviewed
had wanted to enjoy sex play with a girl. But not surprisingly they simply
did not have the nerve to pull it off--or, for that matter, even to attempt
pulling it off!
     In short, social withdrawal appears to have long been the key ear-
mark of the love-shy. Even though the love-shy are quite clearly het-
erosexual in their preferences and orientations, they engage in
significantly less of BOTH heterosexual AND homosexual sex play dur-
ing childhood and adolescence than do the non-shy. Interestingly, fully
23 percent of the 200 non-shy heterosexuals interviewed for this study
had engaged in some homosexual sex play with their male peers as
young teenagers. In contrast, not a single one of the 300 heterosexual
love-shy men interviewed had ever done this. And not a single one had
ever even wanted to do it. Indeed, all indicated that throughout childhood
(as now) they would have been revolted at the mere thought. Then, as
now, they wanted to romance a female, not another male.
     Finally, most homosexual males become aware of their romantic-
 sexual attraction to other males sometime between their tenth and thir-
 teenth years. It has been found that almost all become aware of this
 attraction by the time the seventeenth birthday rolls around. The 300
 love-shy men and the 200 non-shy men studied for this research were
 all well beyond their seventeenth year in chronological age. Hence, there
 can be little doubt as to the true heterosexuality of all of the 500 men
 who were studied for this research.