Jokes
Below are some jokes,
that I thought was rather funny. Also, on this page, is the "The
Lame Joke Corner" where the lame ones go. So enjoy, and please,
don't laugh yo much, because then you might cry, and water and
electronics don't mix to well.
The Preacher's Ass
A preacher wanted to raise money
for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse-racing,
decided to purchase one and enter it in the races. However, at
the local auction, the going price for a horse was so high that
he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he
had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it the races.
To his surprise, the donkey
came in third. The next day the local paper aried this headline:
"PREACHER'S ASS SHOWS"
The preacher was so pleased
with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and this
time it won. The paper read:
"PREACHER'S ASS OUT FRONT"
The Bishop was so upset with
this kind of publicity that he ordered the preacher not to enter
the donkey in another race. The paper headline read:
"BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER'S
ASS"
This was too much for the
bishop, so he ordered the preacher to get rid of the donkey. The
preacher decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The
paper headline the next day read:
"NUN HAS BEST ASS IN
TOWN"
The bishop fainted. He informed
the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold
it to a farmer for ten dollars. The next day the paper read:
"NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10"
This was too much for the
bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead
it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines
read:
"NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS
IS WILD AND FREE"
The bishop was buried the
next day.
Four Catholic ladies were
having coffee. The first Catholic woman
tells her friends "My son is a priest. When he walks into
a room,
everyone calls him 'Father'."
The second Catholic woman
chirps, "My son is a bishop. Whenever
he walks into a room, the people call him 'Your Grace'."
This third Catholic crone
says, "My son is a cardinal.
Whenever he walks into a room, people say 'Your Eminence'."
Since the fourth Catholic
woman sips her coffee in silence, the
first three women give her this subtle "Well...?"
And she said "My son
is a gorgeous, 6' 2" hard bodied stripper.
When he walks into a room,people say,
"Oh, my God...."
There was a man sitting at a bar, and he looks over at the
gentleman sitting next to him and says, "Hey, you look familiar.
Are you from around here?" The man answers, "Yeah, I live down
the street."
"No kidding?" says the first man, "Well, so do I. And hey, you
look about my age. Where did you go to high school?"
"Oh I went to Francis Lewis over on Utopia. Graduated in '66.
How 'bout you?"
"Get out. I went to Francis Lewis. And I graduated in '66, too."
"Where'd you go to college?"
"Beloit, in Wisconsin."
"No way! I went to Beloit too. What dorm?"
"Kevin Sullivan dorm."
"Sullivan? You're not going to believe this . . ."
Joe the bartender walks over, and the first guy says, "Joe, you
won't believe it in a million years. This guy went to the same
high school as me, graduated the same year I did, and went to the
same college. We were even in the same dorm. Isn't that amazing?"
Joe looks at them both and says, "Yeah, that's just plain amazing."
A third man comes in and says, "Hey Joe. What's new?" Joe says,
"Not much. The Johnson twins are drunk again."
There was this couple who had been married for
50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one
morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, "Just think,
honey, we've been married for 50 years." "Yeah," she
replied, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together." "I know," the old man
said, "We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago." "Well," Granny snickered, "What do you say...should
we get naked?" Where upon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied,"My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago." "I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!!!!
The Lame Joke Corner
COMING SOON!
