Chapter 14 So near yet so far

Eriol wanted to cry right there and then. He wanted to scream and turn the tables over.

He watched, his heart anguished, as Miruyuki was kissed by Tomoyo on the cheek.

No, it was only he that Tomoyo kisses that way. It should be him up on stage with her, thinking how luckier he is than any man in the world because he was going to marry Tomoyo soon.

No, this was all a nightmare. He's going to wake up tomorrow and find out that he's back to being the 15-year-old guardian of a tomboyish high school girl who loves him like crazy.

"Please let it be so, and I promise that I will never ever let her go again," he prayed silently.

But he knew everything was real. He felt like he was trapped in a slow-motion horror film , smiling forcibly at his acquaintances and pretending to look happy for Tomoyo.

The cottilion finally began. Eriol turned to leave when Sonomi appeared out of nowhere. "Wait, Mr.Hiragizawa!"

He turned around. "I'm sorry to leave the party so soon, but I'm feeling under the weather."

"Oh no, Mr.Hiragizawa! My husband is not here to give my daughter her first rose so you should take his place."

Eriol was about to refuse when the emcee announced his name to start the traditional dance. "Tomoyo's first dance and rose shall be given by none other than her long-lost guardian, Eriol Hiragizawa!"

Everyone applauded as Tomoyo looked at him expectantly.

He had no choice but to take a long-stemmed rose and give it to Tomoyo. He bowed and kissed her hand. "Happy Birthday, Tomoyo."

She smiled insincerely. "Arigatou, Big bro." She allowed him to lead her to the dance floor.

"So how's your life in London?" began Tomoyo, although her facial expressions made it clear that she wasn't interested with his answer and that she just wanted to strike a conversation to keep themselves from being bored.

"Lonely. I missed your company so much," he confessed.

"What a shame. I heard though, that English ladies are very pretty. Didn't they entertain you?"

"No, I was too busy thinking of you," he said. "You are prettier than all of them combined."

"How flattering," she smiled sardonically.

He gulped. No, this girl in front of him couldn't be the same girl who adored him and worshipped him 3 years ago. He looked searchingly at her emotionless face, hoping to find a trace of the old Kiddo he loved. He failed to find one.

"Do you hate me,Tomoyo?" he finalyy asked.

At last, he saw a genuine smile on her face.

"You finally got the point, Hiragizawa-kun."



Inside his car, Eriol's face was lying on the steering wheel, his hands gripping it so tightly that he might break it.

"She hates me.. heavens, SHE HATES ME!" his mind cried as he felt something drip down his cheeks.

Tears.

He's crying for Tomoyo.

A love lost.

"Damn!" he cursed silently as he angrily wiped them away. "Pull yourself together, Hiragizawa! Men don't cry!"

"Heartbroken people do, whether you're man or not," his heart countered. "Admit it, Hiragizawa.You were a class-A fool to let her go. You don't deserve her."

He sobbed more. Kami-sama, he tried desperately to fight off his feelings for her. They were only friends, and he was her hero..someone she looks up to. He couldn't bear to take advantage of that. Besides, Tomoyo was just like a little sister to him who happens to interest him because she's pretty. Never in his wildest dreams did he imagine himself falling madly in love with her.

But just when he had decided that he had denied his feelings long enough, it was too late. She would be another man's wife soon.

"Tomoyo..why didn't you wait for me? I just wanted a little time to be sure that I really seriously love you..I told you to wait." The mute wails of his heart deafened him.

He reached for the small box in his pocket that was suppose to be his birthday gift to Tomoyo: the antique wedding ring that Tomoyo asked him to keep and give to the woman whome he would exchange vows with in front of the altar someday.

"I found that woman.." he whispered hoarsely while looking at the ring and remembering how perfectly fit it was in Tomoyo's fingers when he asked her to try it on 3 years ago. "But she doesn't want me back..she doesn't..l-love me anymore."

He closed the box sadly and kept it in his pocket. He then drove off.



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