Kenchan's Story

Kenchan's Adoption Archives
Kenchan's Adoption KlubHouse
Kenchan's Reunion Registry

I'm Kenchan, and this is my Story. Yes you've guessed right I was once and adoptee. I say was because I've successfully searched for and found my real/ birth mother. I say real, because to me real is who I am closest to, not who raises me. Like I always say, Ive got two mothers and one "Mom".

I was born in 1968. The son of a white mother and a black father. That was a no no in 421968 to be white with a non white baby. So as per order my Grandfather, being unable to accept a nonwhite grandson forced my 17 year old mother to put my life in the hands of Social services.

I went through a series of foster homes til I was adopted when I was 11 months old. Having been taken away from so many mothers has left me with a deep distrust of people. To this day I am always waiting for friends and loved ones to walk out of my life, maybe that's why I can't commit to getting married. Perhaps I have become so used to being left alone that to be with somebody for so long is unfathomable.

Yes I grew up in a middleclass white family, but no I did not have the perfect adoption. At 4 years old I was molested by a member of my adoptive family that left me scarred for life. Imagine that! I was so lucky that not only was I adopted but orally raped at the age of 4 by my adoptive brother. Thank god I can have such a good childhood

When you are adopted youy are forced to play the adoption game, to pretend to be what you are not. After I left home(my adoptive home) I chose to no longer play or pretend to be who I wasn't, someone else's child. Well I survived my adoption and yhe molestation/ rape at the hands of a adoptive family member. I've also survived my adoptive father's alcholism and the abuse that came with it. My adoption has made me a person who is very much against adoption, and a pursuer of adoptee rights. At age 27 I found my mom. I call my birth mother "mom" because I chose to. I am closer to her than anybody else. To me sh is and always will be "mom". These days I'm livin in Viet Nam, teaching English and in the process of creating my own family with a very special woman.

These days I no longer have any contact with my adoptive family. They are really upset that I never considered them my real family. Yes you may say I rejected my adoptive family. But in a way I was forced to do so.

After I reunited with my mom My adoptive family unconsciously put alot of pressure to choose between them and my mom. There was no contest.

Of course I chose my mom. She is my only link to my roots and we are a part of each other.