The Liberal Survival Kit
The All-New, Only One of Its Kind...
Liberal Survival Kit!!!
Yes, it has the "akolang seal of approval"
With this set of essential tools in your arsenal....you'll never again have to fear the common sense and logic of conservative arguments. You'll be prepared!!
Finally, we have "leveled the playing field." No longer are liberals at a disadvantage when dealing with conservatives. I know the complaints....
I'm just a liberal...you're not supposed to expect anything from me
Of course I'm dumb...I'm a liberal
How can I be expected to overcome his arguments? He's a conservative... he STUDIED in school
I just don't know how to deal with the whole "morals" thing
That mean conservative! ...he won't quit talking with logic and common sense!
I've heard all those complaints and many others. Yes, of course, those are valid arguments. And based on qualities such as merit, intelligence, and reasoning...liberals are definitely at a disadvantage.
But don't worry...here at the Institute for the Destruction of Decency, we have painstakingly and with great compassion put together the Liberal Survival Kit to help you combat those conservatives.
Sure, the conservatives have truth on their side...but our beloved President has proven time and again that truth doesn't matter... truth is simply an obstacle to be overcome.
And for the ridiculously low price of $89.99, you can have the tools you need to hammer away at truth and reasoning until they're gone forever! This essential kit contains all you need....check it out!
*200 jumbo sized-boxes of Kleenex...yes, a whole week's supply! Now you can cry and moan and whine without fear of flooding the room and drowning an endangered green-bellied, ring-tailed, cross-eyed rat.
*Webster's Dictionary. Now it will be easy to understand those hard words the conservatives throw at you. And the most difficult words...those brain-busters like "is", "alone", "honor", "integrity", and "brain"....are highlighted in RED for easy retrieval at a moment's notice!
*The world-renown Victim Mirror...the same one the kindergarten counselors use with the children! A decorative hand-held mirror with the word VICTIM boldly stamped across it in the official color of the liberal movement...yellow. Now, you'll never forget you're a perpetual victim. With the Victim Mirror, you can have that ideal reinforced every time you look at yourself.
*Your kit also comes with 3 easy-to-conceal American flags...each with a supply of waterproof matches. Now, even in the worst weather, you'll be able to demonstrate your love for America by burning an authentic American flag!
*A 3-pound rock. On national TV, the great and respected liberal Alec Baldwin called on America to stone Kenneth Starr's wife and children to death. Now with your very own 3-pounder, you'll be fully equipped to join Alec and show your liberal compassion and love of humanity by stoning those who dare to hold liberals to the rule of law.
*A complimentary subscription to our award-winning "Feel the Guilt" newsletter. Every month, you'll receive this informative newsletter, packed with articles and testimonials showing you how to properly feel guilty for things done by other people... in other places... in other centuries.
*Our handy, pocket-sized guide to proper "welfare-office etiquette." Yes, my friends...this little pamphlet alone is worth the cost of the survival kit. You will learn all the little tricks and secrets to a truly successful career as a welfare recipient. This informative guide is essential for any able-bodied liberal who just doesn't want to work.
Free membership in our elite "Sponsor an Illegal Immigrant" program. This is a fabulous program that has really been making a difference!
My friends, this is just a sampling of what's included in the Liberal Survival Kit. As you can see, it's a must-have.
This kit will be of immense help in finally turning America into the country all liberals want it to be.... a country with no freedoms and no morality. Order yours today!!!
This was created by akolang. A regular in American-politics. A great American who isn't scared to tick off a few unAmerican liberals. A man of decency who will never compromise his pinciples. This is just part of his website. You can take a visit to his site "Akoland" by clicking here
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