WHERE'S THE BATHROOM by Firelight

Jessica, a human female 
of mature age, was minding her own business when a
 crazy out of this world experienced happened. Indeed,
 she was walking in the St-Frederic park in 
Drummondville (Don’t try to find this city on your 
map...that is if you have a USA map!!!) when a tracker
 beam suck her up in time...and she landed in a world
 of metal, robots and...McDonald’s??? Hell!!! They are
 everywhere you go! She had landed on Cybertron(oh
 joy!):peaceful home of  the Autobots. Right before her
 stood a giant robot and a human friend(we presume).
 Jessica didn’t really know how to react. The human 
shook her hand.
-Human- Welcome to Cybertron my friend. We have 
succeed in transporting a human threw out space and 
time...now we can think of what use it could have...by 
the way, my name is Spike
-Jessica frustrated- Criss de Tabarnac!!! C’est quoi 
l’affaire icite colis... en plus un maudit restaurant 
qui pu!!
-Spike- Interesting! The human is showing some brain 
activity. So now we know that humans of the future 
have some sort of intelligence.
-Jazz- Dah! We don’t understand a word she’s saying
-Jessica looking suspiciously Spike and Jazz- You two 
speak English?
-Spike clapping hands with this stupid smile of 
excitement on his face- Oh why yes we do my 
friend...tell me now(speaking slowly) w-h-a-t_i-s_y-o-u-r_n-a-m-e?
-Jessica asking her self what is his problem- Well my 
name is Jessica...and you don’t have to speak like
 that you know, in my country we know English even if
 we speak French...
-Spike- wwwwhaaaat iiiiiiisssssss   yyyouuuuuurrrr  
naaaaammmmme?
-Jessica irritated- I just told you m-y n-a-m-e i-s 
Jessi....
-Spike- I think she doesn’t understand the question
-Jazz rolling his eyes- Just don’t listen to him ok?
 He’s wacko. Come with me: I’ll be your private guide 
for this tour.

Jessica pushed aside Spike and started to walk with Jazz
-Jessica to Jazz- Is he gay?
-Jazz- No one knows for sure but since we saw him 
hanging out with Bumblebee...we just don’t know!!!
Jessica liked this place...accept maybe for the jerk Spike. She had just one concern now.
-Jessica- Can I eat? I would eat anything...even some McDonald’s. I don’t care.
-Spike- OOOOooooohhh she is huuuunnngry for McDonald...

Jessica  took a swing and hit his nuts with her foot. He fell on the floor
-Jessica- Shut up Ronald!!!

Jazz looked at her and laughed.
-Jazz- I wish I could do that, but I’m afraid with the 
size of my foot that his nuts would go up in his head. 
-Jessica- I have a feeling that someone is going to do
 that anyway...no wonder why man have the capacity of 
thinking like a dick in my world.
-Jazz- Well let’s go eat some McDonald food and I’ll 
make you visit the place after that...how does it 
sound to you
-Jessica- I would say fine, but McDonald food...
-Jazz- C’mon...it’s good food! Spike eats that all the time
-Jessica- That’s what I’m worried about

So they went in the restaurant, ordered 10....eurk... 
cheese burgers for Jessica and she ate them all with 
an hunger of a beast. She then sat back and rubbed her 
tummy. Now she had an other urging concern.
-Jessica- Where is the Bathroom?

Everyone who had heard the question stood silenced 
with an horrified look. Every worker of the restaurant
 run out of the building, screaming. Jessica looked at 
them as they were running for their life.
-Jessica- Normally it’s the customer that runs out of a McDonald’s like that

She turns to Jazz and was surprised to see that he was 
in a state of shock.
-Jessica- What’s the problem?
-Jazz with a trembling voice- We don’t have Bathrooms...
-Jess- What?
-Jazz- ....y....you never watched the show....no one 
goes to the Bathroom...it’s to dangerous
-Jess- why?
-Jazz- ....The broadcasting stations....show 
bathroom....delete us...general public. They have took
 measures
-Jess- What sort of measures?
-Jazz- You shit and the planet explodes
-Jess- You’re all crazy!!! I want to go home then 
because I need to go right now!!!!

Jazz stood up quickly and brought her back at the site
 where she appeared first. He quickly attached her to 
a chair and typed some buttons on the board. All that 
in front of the Dribbling Spike.
-Jazz- Well it was nice to see you Jessica
-Jessica- Just get me back...I’m going to miss Beast
 Wars if I don’t go back Right now!!!
-Jazz- 10 seconds before departure  and counting
Jazz took a sniff of the air
-Jazz- Wait !!!What’s that smell!!!
Jessica took a sniff 
-Jessica- oooohhh....I think your pal just did in his pens
-Jazz- Oh no!!! We’re all gonna die
-Jessica- No you’re going to die. I’m gone baby!!!

And she dropped back on earth at the same time that 
there was a lost of life  by the stinking pestilence 
of a boy named Spike. What happened to Jessica: went 
to the Bathroom and boy what a relief. Only thing 
changed: McDonald’s doesn’t exists anymore