The Legend of the Flying Dick by Firelight

On a far planet in a galaxy that I don’t give a ache of the name, lived a raging battle between the noble Maximals and the stupid Predicons...or Vehicons...or what ever it want to be named!!!! The point is there’s a war going on and Obtimus is about to be a innocent victim...not that I care!
- mmmmmmmmmm...be one with the matrix.....aaammmmmmmmmmmm
Cheetor was desperately observing Prime from the high top of a building. He sight.
-Maybe we should kill him
Rattrap and Blackarrachnia just stared down without a word.
-Blackarrachnia- ...Maybe...but it doesn’t feel right...
-Rattrap-...Don’t give a shit...maybe we should kill fly boy over there first

Not very far, Nightscream was flying towards the baboon...it’s seems he didn’t see his comrades.
-Cheetor shivering- ...oh he’s so ugly
-Blackarrachnia-... wait till you see the effect of puberty...
-Rattrap- Let’s kill him
-Cheetor- Agreed!

The three of them aimed at the stupid bat when, suddenly, this same ugly bat dropped on Obtimus and tried to fuck him.
-Obtimus- aaaaaa...damn it! What are you doing....don’t touch that...aaaaaa...HELP ME!!!!
-Cheetor confused turned his head towards Blackarrachnia and Rattrap- Do my optic sensors malfunctioning or this stupid ass hole is fucking our leader.
-Blackarrachnia- It’s the first time I see a case like that...only heard of it in legends
-Rattrap looking down at the fucking mammals- Disgusting...oh man. How does he do that?
-Cheetor to Blackarrachnia- What do you mean?
-Blackarrachnia- Legends says that every century, a robot will rise above all and fuck everyone till they die!!!...Only problem is...he has to be “triggered” by someone else before it happens...

Cheetor and Rattrap stared at her.
-Blackarrachnia- Don’t look at me! I never fucked him!!!
-Cheetor- Then who?
-Rattrap shivering- I don’t recall seeing any other female robot on this planet...oh man...it’s soooo disgusting
-Blackarrachnia- We’ll find that later! The main concern right now is that when he’ll finish the job with the monkey, he will fuck anything that walks...and it includes us.

A big screen in the sky appeared, disturbing the thoughts of our three folks...but not the work of the raging bat who last still fucking.
-Megatron- This is Megatron speaking. Maximals, you have ten nano-clicks to surrender your leader to me...after that, I will destroy all organic life form on the surface of this planet with the Key that I hold in my hands
-Rattrap looking down again at Primal- Don’t think he’s going to last that long...look, he’s not screaming anymore.
-Cheetor- that’s because he’s mouth is full of... -Blackarrachnia looking at the screen disappearing- We have to act fast or we’re all gonna die!!!
-Rattrap- We just have to wait that Nightscream finish his job and we point him towards Megs...maybe they’ll kill each other...
-Cheetor excited- good point Rattrap! Let’s wait that Primal Dies!
-Rattrap always looking down, hearing the bat screaming repeatingly- And I wondered where he got his name...eurk!
-Blackarrachnia thinking-...strange...he didn’t talk normally
-Rattrap- You noticed that too...he’s more scream then talk...
-Blackarrachia- No! I’m talking about Megatron
-Cheetor- What do you mean?
-Blackarrachnia- Well... I know him from the excellent tv series “Beast wars”...too bad it’s finished
-Cheetor- Why do you say tv series?...you lived it!!!
-Blackarracknia- It’s not my fault if the author of this story wants CLEARLY to express her point of view
-Rattrap- That is?
-Blackarraknia- That Beast Wars rules!!!...And that Beast Machines SUCKS!!!
-Cheetor- she got a point there.
-Blackarracknia- where was I...
-Cheetor- We have one nano-click to surrender and you want to talk about Megatron
-Blackarrachnia- yeah right. Well... I know him well and he never did a phrase without saying “yes” all the time!...and yet...he didn’t say it one time just now.
-Rattrap- Just get to the point
-Blackarrachnia- Did you noticed that everytime Megatron talked to us on this planet, Nightscream wasn’t around
-Rattrap horrified- Fucking shit!
-Blackarrachnia- You said it!
-Cheetor terrified!!!- That means he was the one who trigged his fucking behaviour
-Rattrap- Son of a bitch!!!...he did that when we were talking to Megatron...he’s no better than the Monica Lewinsky then
-Cheetor- At least Bill Clinton was doing that with a girl!!!

The three of them looked down and noticed that Obtimus wasn’t moving anymore. Nightscream had took off and was fucking a light-post.
-Rattrap- That should keep him occupied!
-Blackarrachnia- What do we do then?
-Cheetor- no time to thing...we live in a world full of shit...and full of unnecessary dialogue...and full of unnecessary people....and full of unnecessary stories...and full of unnece....
-Rattrap- OK! OK! IT SUCKS!
-Cheetor- I think putting organic life forms on Cybertron is a bad idea after all. Face it: organic life forms have sex...but not robots. We could have prevent all this if we all stayed robots...WE SUCK!!! Why don’t we all die for our writer
-Blackarrachnia- You say that because you reach orgasm to fast...
-Cheetor- Fuck you!!!
-Rattrap- Don’t talk of fuck...I think I’ve seen to much of it today

So that’s how it All ends. Everyone died. The planet reformatted itself and there was a knew beginning where NO organic life forms what so ever could possibly even THINK of existing!!! That’s how it should end. TRANSFORMERS RULES!!! ORGANIC LIFE FORMS SUCKSSS!!!!…well at least in the first season!