(© by CeeKay 7/98)
I’m sitting alone - somewher it’s not of interest
All on my own - thinking about my life
You’re playing with me like a doll
An’ I’d do anything and I don’t know why
Actually I’m an outsider and I feel good as one
It’s a protective device to be an outsider
Cause no one knows your deep emotions and I don’t wanna see
The same faces all day
But in spite of I hold fast to the ones I know
I like bein’ an outsider but I’m afraid of being alone
Isn’t it paradox, I think I’m going crazy
And no one can help cause I don’t want anyone to know my deep emotions
I’m searching for a sense
I’m searching for my purpose in life
Would I know what to do I’d do
Would I leave this way I’d die, I’m sure
I’m sitting alone on my window counting clouds
I’m waving good-bye to the clouds and to him
Cause like the clouds he’s gone all day again
I don’t really know him and that’s why I love him
Cause I will never really know neither he’ll me
He’ll never know my deep emotions and that’s good
Oh I seem so full of will to live but I’m sick of life
I seem jovial and funny but in fact I’m shy
You can play with me you can do everything you want
Before I act against you you must have hurt me a long time
And if I act I become sad and I cry
Cause I’m afraid of loosing a so-called friend
I’m searching for a sense
I’m searching for my purpose in life
Would I know what to do I’d do
Would I leave this way I’d die, I’m sure
What is that for a senseless life? They’re hazing me and I hold on to them
I’m just an outsider who’s afraid of being alone
You can hurt me deep in my heart and tears
Are running down my cheeks silently
I’d never tell anyone that he’s destroying me
I’m searching for a friend, a real good friend
But I’m afraid of showing my emotions
Oh please don’t laugh about me
I tell you now but you’ll surely do next time
And I’ll be quiet you can easily see
That I’m hurt when I’m silent
Why isn’t there anyone who understands me
Im searching for security
I’m searching for his love
Would I know what to do I’d do
Would I leave this way I’d die, I’m sure
Would I know what to do I’d do
Would I leave this way I’d die, I’m sure
All I need up to date is love and understanding
Otherwise be sure I can’t take no more
But when I comitted suicide, when I killed myself
You all will turn around
And go with one little tear cause now you’ve got
No longer a scapegoat
Now you took it and I’m silently gone
With a silent scream…..
With a silent scream
