Here's a joke for ya..compliments of my buddy Ryan.

Well this little girl and her mum were walking in the park and the little girl saw some people gettin it on. she asked her mum what they were doing and she says...Well they are making a cake. And then they went to the zoo. The kid saw the monkies havin sex and she askes her mum what they are doing. she says again...they are making a cake.So the kid seems pretty happy with the explaination. The next day she comes up to her mum and says...You and dad were making a cake on the couch last nite. Her mum is kinna surprised that her kid had seen that. So she asks why she thinks they were making a cake. the kids answers...cuz I licked the icing off the cushions.

Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going tolearn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?' Little Johnny waves his hand, 'Me, Miss Rogers, me, me! Miss Rogers:'All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?' Little Johnny says, 'Mas-tur-bate.' Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful.' Little Johnny says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob"

---

In a city park stood two statues, one female and the other male. These two statues faced each other for many years. Early one morning an angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you your greatest wish. I hereby give you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire." And with that command, the statues came to life. The two statues smiled at each other, ran toward some nearby woods and dove behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling and twigs snapping. After fifteen minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling. Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, "You still have fifteen minutes. Would you like to continue?" The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?" Smiling, the female statue said, "Sure. But this time YOU hold the pigeon down and I'LL shit on it's head!"