GAA Computer Virus List

The Meath Virus: Throws you out of Windows.

The Martin Lynch Virus: Computer pretends to go down, but then boots back up and is OK.

The Kieran McDonald Virus: The lights on your PC are all on but nothing works.

The Clare Virus: Memory forgets everything before 1995.

The Tipperary Virus Family: Look like they may cause you problems for six months, but then fade away.

The Dessie Farrell Virus: All drive privileges lost.

The Martin McNamara Virus: You just can't save anything.

The Mayo Virus Family: Always billed as harmful, but really are nothing to worry about.

The Graham Geraghty Virus: Your PC repeats this loop, it works brilliantly for 20 minutes, then breaks down for 12 months.

The Mick O'Dwyer Virus: Attempts to install lots of foreign programs to replace existing slow-running applications.

The Kerry Virus: 5 years of hard work wiped out by undetected Offaly mail.

The Waterford virus: Not due to strike for another 40 years.

The DJ Carey Virus: Your computer packs it in and costs 70,000 to be fixed.

The Colin Lynch Virus: Boots up some Waterford computers and carries on as if nothing happened.

The Babs Keating Virus: Enters a PC, attempts to delete all existing program and reformat hard drive; when detected and removed it generates weekly log files citing errors in bits 8 to 15.

The John Leahy Virus: A particularly lethal Virus, users are advised to tie down the monitor as a precaution before approaching.

The Brian Mullins virus: System takes several years to recover from crash

The John Maughan Virus: System crashes in September.

The David Forde Virus: Hasn't been seen since the 'Michael Duignan Virus Killer' was invented.

The Michael Donnellan Virus: Attacks operating system and timekeeper and then deletes all records of this ever occurring.

The John O'Leary Virus: Virtually impossible to rid your PC of this one.

The Ger Loughnane Virus: A continuous whining sounds emitted from speakers, keeps generating data corruption messages, PC blows up but it won't accept any blame.

The Marty Morrissey Virus: Spurious nonsense emitted from speakers, uninstall all sound drivers and install Micheal O'Muircheartaigh sound files instead to rid yourself of this one.

The Ger Canning virus: See Marty Morrissey Virus above.

The Limerick Hurling Virus: Causes problems for 65 minutes then disappears, never to be seen again.

The Dublin Virus: Manufacturers think is a vital component of all GAA applications but no evidence of this has yet been seen.