A Rant - by Fionn O'Connor-Walsh

GAA? That's like sooo uncool roysh, bloody boggers and I mean TOTAL boggers...
Roysh, i was loike snoggin Jemoima Fitzpotrick last noight dine in Bective roysh ond she's from Killoiney and oll roysh ond she has her own cor and stuff but when I went to pick her up at Fitzpotick towers who was there at the door ownlee her old mon and I couldn't believe it when he said 'hows your faader' roysh - he was born in Kinnitty which is somewhere down the country, REALLY in the bog roysh- totally flobbergosted I was roysh but I think she's still a roide loike roysh even if her Dad is a Biffo.
I mean like those boggers are like totally taking over this place. Roysh, I can't get onto the 46A or the Dort without meeting some woollyback up here doing Orts in UCD. I can't use my mow-boyle with the noise they make.
I heard there's like this total bogger Je Fellon who like thinks he can stort playing rogby, talk about uncool. I mean like St. Jorloths in Tuam is hordly Clongowes. Being a postman is like so medieval, I mean could his old man not like fix him up with a proper job?