The Banner Files - a case for Mulder and Scully?

You think it all started last year when they couldn't beat us in hurling -
priests, councils, Presidents, media and 31 counties all against us? Just the
tip of the iceberg. This has been going on for centuries. Ever since Brian Boru,
took on the Vikings at Clontarf. Yes Brian, the first legend of the Dalcassians, fought
valiantly and bravely for his beloved country.

Mysteriously, but not if you're from Clare, he was allowed to be killed
just as the battle was been won. The first attempt by a vast conspiracy to
get Clare and its people. This vast anti Clare conspiracy has been going on for
ages. Throughout the struggle for Irish freedom, there were great rebellions stretching
from Tir Chonaill to Wexford and Kinsale to Dublin.

No-one ever bothered to ask Clare. We had our own and we did fine, winning
an historic election in 1917, in East Clare,(you know who's country - GL).
De Valera came along (elected in Clare), and did great, but again this anti-Clare
conspiracy saw fit to blame him for this and that.

And so the years passed by and the hurlers of Clare came to bear the brunt
of this conspiracy. Everything was done to beat us. They made us play the great
powers every year. If we beat Cork then we had to play Tipperary. They often
shared players, to try and beat us. And when we beat both like in '55, the
conspirators made it rain and upset our game plan, against Limerick.

What did Mackey say to Ring in that famous photo - "Anti-Clare conspiracy
meeting in Thurles tonight". And then we produced that wonderful team in the
seventies. About to beat Cork and the conspirators went and sent off our full back
for nothing. And again, the year after when they conspired to move the goal
posts every time our forwards tried to score.

A total set up. The 1980s saw someone make a big hole in the ground, just
as one of our forwards was about to score a winning goal. (You had to be there).
And when finally our footballers reached the promised land in 1992, the anti Clare
conspiracy contrived to have a perfect goal disallowed.

And why did Nicky laugh in '93? Because he knew about the anti-Clare
conspiracy, when none of us did. But we beat them all in '95 and '97,
the conspiracy got Ollie in '96 in order to open up the middle of the
Gaelic Grounds for Ciaran to run through.

And then '98. A new conspiracy committee was established. And you see what
they did? Everything.

-Only video evidence to be used against Clare.
-If they're winning near the end, stop the game.
(Did you know that certain fans had a secret drill on a Thursday about invading a pitch).
-Ban their best players for doing nothing.
-Make them so tired that they can't play.
-Stop their managers from talking to the players.

Well roll on '99. Don't be surprised if you see a NATO plane bomb Shannon
(by complete accident) just as the Clare team are about to embark on another
glorious voyage. Yes, they're in it too, as are the UN, the Iraqi's (won't buy our
beef) and even the Russians............this is only the tip of the iceberg
regarding the anti-Clare conspiracy.