MATHS TEST FOR SECONDARY SCHOOLS IN THE SOUTHSIDE OF DUBLIN:
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NAME________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
________________(if longer, please continue on separate sheet)

MODE OF TRANSPORT TO SCHOOL (tick appropriate options):

DAD's CAR _
MUM'S CAR _
MY OWN CAR _
HELICOPTER _
ARMED ESCORT _
ALL ABOVE OPTIONS _


POSITION IN LINE TO THE THRONE OF ENGLAND : __________



1. Julian smashes up the old man's car, causing x amount of damage and
killing three people. The old man asks his local TD to intervene in the
court system, then forges his insurance claim and receives a payment of y.
The difference between x and y is three times the life insurance settlement
for the three dead people. What kind of car is Julian driving now?


2. Chloe's personal shopper decides to substitute generic and own-brand
products for the designer goods favoured by her employer. In the course of
a month she saves the price of a return ticket to Fiji and Chloe doesn't
even notice the difference. Is she thick or what?


3. Roly fancies the arse off a certain number of tarts, but he only has
enough Rohypnol left to render 33.3% unconscious. If he has 14 Rohypnol, how
is he ever going to shag the other two-thirds?


4. If Savannah throws-up four times a day for a week she can fit a size 8
Versace. If she only throws up three times a day for two weeks, she has to
make do with a size 10 Dolce&Gabbana. How much does liposuction cost?


5. Alexander is unsure about his sexuality. Three days a week he fancies
women.On the other days he fancies men, ducks and vacuum cleaners. However
he only has access to the Hoover every third week. When does his Sunday
Independent column start?