An ode to Dublin, the city of the Junkie -
Dublin, in fairness to it, is not a bad place. Trouble is, it's wasted on the Dubs. On one side you have horse-riding junkies causing
havoc and on the other there are the 'Doirt roiding' rugger buggers and huggers. And they have the cheek to give out about culchies taking over
their city, ha ha sad cases. As Jesus meant to say - 'Blessed are the culchies, for theirs is the kingdom of Dublin'.
Walk into a sports shop in Dublin and see thousands of Man City, Fulham and all kinds of obscure clubs replica kits for sale along with
the luminous adidas tracksuits as worn by the tenement trash with earrings the size of Hula hoops passing their time getting thrown out of the ILAC
centre until they're old enough to start pushing a pram.
Hockey sticks, cricket bats, lacrosse sticks all outnumber the trusty caman on the shop shelves.
Wherever they're not playing the garrison/ghetto game there's the rugby instead.
Anyway, time for a bit of 'West Brit' bashing - have a look at the Southsider Maths Test or a Southdubs view of the GAA. Just to show I'm not a complete bigot - here's the equivilant Northside exam. For a couple of weeks
every year, the Man Utd slaves (aka Dublin Football fans) have a couple of days out on Hill 16, their hallowed piece of Croke Park. A recent judicial ruling has stated that this terrace
will have to become all-seater in conjunction with the developments in Croker. This will have massive implications for the Dubs who enjoy rubbing up against each other on the terracing.
If you're new to Dublin or contemplating visting, maybe as a member of a stag party of whatever, you should check out the Scangers Guide to Dublin. Alternatively, if you're one of the 'Disappeared' (nonDubliners living in Dublin) you should read the eloquent thoughts of the Displaced Culchie.