Banner 13
The space shuttle is in orbit when suddenly back at the control tower a
voice comes from the shuttle :
"Ennis we have a problem !"
It's Anthony Daly, he says to control tower :
"Ger, speak to me Ger, what will we do?"
"Anthony" says Ger Loughnane in control, "Pull across them."
"Ger" says Anthony, "this is the space shuttle, it's not hurling now "
"Oh jaysus yes" says Ger, "that was years ago. Right, We've waited
81 years for this, we're not going to let this one slip. What's the
problem ???"
"Tis Davy" says Anthony, "He's the only one of us that can fit through
the tiny crack in the hull to repair damage done by an alien
ship..............."
"Alien ship" screams Ger, "What colour were these Aliens ??"
"Green" replies Anthony.
"Limerick Bastards" hollers Ger "Hmmm, right heres the plan. They
were the only team to beat us in our glorious spell, lets do away with
them"
"How Ger?" says Anthony.
"Don't play the indian with me Daly" says Ger. "Put on Fitzy there."
"Sniff, Sinff, Ger, Ger I, I, can't go through with it."
"Little bollix" says Ger, "you get on with your work."
"But Ger" sobs Davey.
"You do your job or it's back to being one of Santa's little helpers for
you next year, Sprint !"
Fitzgerald sprints and suddenly with the lack of gravity, his voice
breaks. All bow here and pause for 3 seconds.
"Hulloah, Hulloah, Innis" says Ollie Baker. "Ger, I just killed 4
aliens, myself and Lynchie huh huh, Lynchie cut off wan fellas head
with a beautiful sideline cut."
"Hmm, so that suspension in 98 wasn't a bad thing after all" says Ger.
"Pull as hard as ye can Lynchie bye, do it for the BANNER, yourself the
SAFRRON & BLUE yahoooohooohooo"
Loud Booming noise from outside.
"Ger, Ger we're being attacked" shouts PJ O' Connell.
"There is no alien, no alien like a dead alien. I'm not even going to
watch this fight now, just go over to Len Gaynor and shake his hand"
says Ger to a bemused packed control tower.
"Ger wake up" shouts Jamesie O' Connor.
"Ger the media are outside" says Frank Lohan.
"Bastards" says Ger. "Right tell them the young lads aren't playing.
We have to win this one for Clare"
"And the world" says Liam Doyle
"Fuck the world" says Ger "they all hate us."
Suddenly Sparrow O' Loughlin pulls out a rocket launcher and kills all
the aliens. Clare have done it.
"Yeeeessssssssss" shouts Ger "We did it for The Banner."
Mikhail Gorbachev comes out of retirement to thank Loughnane.
"Fuck you Mikhail " says Ger , "you big bollox with your map of
Tipperary on your head."
"We Hate Tipperary" shout all the Clare lads.
"Sing the second verse" says Ger.
"We hate Limerick" shout all the Clare lads.
"Sing the third verse" says Ger.
"We hate Cork" shout all the Clare lads.
28 verses later, Ger says "sing the last verse."
"We hate everybody and everybody hates us"
"That's my byes" says Ger.