“I’m never getting drunk again,” I said as I lay on the couch, my arms dangling onto the floor.
Heidi comforted me, “It’ll be all right.”
“Will it really? I got my tongue pierced by a drunk girl who has sex at least once a day and then I lost my virginity to her habitual partner…. I can’t think how that will get straightened out ANYTIME soon.”
That shut her up. Not that I didn’t appreciate the fact that she was trying to make me feel better, but seriously, I wasn’t in the mood for happy thoughts at the moment.
Dave had been calling like every fifteen minutes since I hung up with him. Each time Heidi picked up and assured him that I was all right but that I didn’t want to talk to him just then. She would then say nice things to him and promised that she would tell me he called. D.C. called a few times, too, trying to speak for Dave or something, or maybe to apologizing for piercing me. I refused her calls too.
I got fed up with it all, and so I told Heidi I would be back later and went for a walk. Rolling my new tongue ring around my mouth, I walked through the woods into the Hansons’ backyard. God, how I wished they were home. If only Tay were there to give me a hug and then tease me about my tongue ring, or if Zac were there to make blatant sexual comments about it, and if Ike were there to rationalize with me and tell me that everything was all right. I prayed that maybe when I walked by the window of the kitchen, Mrs. Hanson would miraculously be home and wave to me, not worried that I was pregnant anymore, and welcome me in like old times. But the house was dark, and there were no cars in the driveway, and as I walked by, I saw no friendly faces.
As the metal ball of my piercing clacked against the back of my teeth, I continued on my walk. The whole loss of my virginity thing was throwing me way out of whack. I can’t believe that I had sex. And that it wasn’t with Taylor. I mean, the way things were going, I really thought that if I did it anytime soon, it would have been with him. But it wasn’t. It was with Dave.
Speaking of which, after about a half an hour of musings, I looked up and found myself on the corner of Dave’s street. Sighing, I knew I had to talk to him. I believed him when he’d said that he couldn’t play me, and so I felt it was wrong for me to play him and not to talk to him.
I walked up to the door and knocked. I’m sure my eyes looked rather tear-stained and my hair was still damp from the shower. I wasn’t wearing any make up, and the stunning ensemble I was sporting composed of a tank top with straps that always fell down and a pair of shorts that used to be sweat pants, but I cut the legs off.
Dave opened the door. A look of shock spread upon his face, “Tayler?”
I didn’t say anything.
“Come in,” his voice was pleading.
I obliged, trying not to look into his eyes.
“We need to talk.”
“Obviously,” I said snottily.
“Look, I know you’re pissed. Let me explain?”
“Okay.”
He ushered me onto the couch and sat across from me in an armchair. “We played that drinking game, and I could tell you were getting tipsy. I brought you into one of the bedrooms because you could barely walk,” he got a little uncomfortable, “then you… um… asked me…”
“I remember,” I felt bad, sparing him the shame of admitting that he didn’t have the willpower to throw me off.
“You do?”
“Well, I remember we… made out a little bit. After that things get a little fuzzy… I assume that’s when we…” I made hand motions, not wanting to admit out loud that we’d gotten it on.
He sighed, “See, no… I wanted to tell you over the phone, but you hung up before I could tell you. We were kind of making out and stuff, but then D.C. came in. You got all freaked out and ran into the bathroom and started throwing up. I told D.C. to go make sure you were okay, and I went to see who could bring us home. When I came back with Oscar, D.C. had just finished piercing your tongue and you had passed out.”
I remained silent. We didn’t have sex? Was Dave lying? It would be so easy for him to do so…
“I promise that’s all that happened, Tayler. I wouldn’t lie about something this serious,” and then he added, more quietly, “especially not to you.”
“Dammit, Dave! What the hell is so special about me? You act like I’m this goddess and you are all different and you keep getting all weird, and you’re asking me out and you didn’t take advantage of me. What the hell?” I yelled.
He didn’t quite know what to say, I think, because he sat there, looking at his hands. “I mean, when did us being friends change?”
“Are you serious?” he laughed.
“What?” he was making me angrier.
“Well, I mean, think about it. Maybe you don’t see it, but everyone else does. Remember at that show when you sang and that girl thought we were going out? And what normal friends play strip poker together alone when one of them has a boyfriend? Tayler, we’ve never acted like normal friends.”
I thought about it. I guessed he was right. I thought about all the times that we’d almost kissed or that I’d felt attracted to him. Like the time in the grocery store when he carried me on his back and when I was singing for Travis and he’d pulled me all close on stage. Taylor must have seen it, too, because he was always kind of wary of Dave. I guess he did have a good point. “So what,” I asked, “were you just waiting until I broke up with Taylor to say all this to me?”
“Well, no,” Dave shrugged, “I thought maybe you’d notice.”
“Notice?”
“I don’t know,” he shrugged again. “It’s just different with you, Tayler. Since you actually give a sh*t, it makes me have to give a sh*t.”
I was quiet. He was an important person to me. Maybe I didn’t love him like I loved Taylor, but Dave was a big part of my life. I think the whole time we were friends, I was trying to see him as my big brother. But now I saw him differently. Ever since he’d kissed me that time, it was like I couldn’t look at him in a platonic way anymore… and I didn’t want to.I wanted to want him.
I spoke up,"So are you still interested?"
"Of course," he smiled.
"Okay then... oh, but I have one question."
“Yea?”
“What’s up with you and D.C?”
“We just get it on sometimes.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“We started in the ninth grade when we went out for like two months. Then we realized that we didn’t really like each other enough to spend that much time together, and so we broke up. But we never stopped getting it on. It’s just random casual sex… If one of us it attached, then we don’t do it, but if we’re both single, then we figure, why not?”
“But you guys seem to get along well now,” I commented.
“I guess so. We’re not in love in ANY way if that’s what you’re implying. We’ve just known each other for a long time, and we are in similar circumstances. We just blend well or something,” he shrugged.
“And what was all that during the drinking game?” I asked, “About doing it in public and stuff like that?”
“Oh…” he smirked, “Well we get adventurous sometimes…”
“Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.”
“Okay,” he smiled.
“So you guys just randomly get it on… and you have no feelings for her whatsoever?” I was skeptical.
“Well she’s my friend. We’ve gotten each other out of a lot of sh*t, and so we’re buds like that. But, no, there’s no real feelings… besides physical attraction, anyway.”
I nodded. The whole thing was weird to me.
Dave was silent for a minute, but then added seriously, “But I guess there is something you should know…”
“What?” I didn’t like the way he said that.
“Last year… I got D.C. pregnant.” chapter 10
