Title: A Little Insight Author: Eileen Whipple Rating: PG Classification: V, H, UST Spoilers: teensy bits of FtF and "Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose". Summary: A little insight (hence the title) into the late night chat of our two favourite agents. DISCLAIMER: Chris "Da Man" Carter owns X-Files in its entirety. No fair! "Paranoia" belongs to the Barstool Prophets. The opinions about _Titanic_ are not mine (yeah, right!). They're Mulder's. Jerry Springer is wonderful quality television. _Good Will Humping_ is just something I heard somewhere. I take no credit for it. Author's Note: Okay, this fic was inspired by "Barbie and Ken Move to CyberSpace" by The Freakish One, Sara Elise's "Chat Rooms" and my own experience of falling down some stairs. However, I slipped on a shoe box! Thanks to my beta readers Sara Elise and Heather! ****************************** Please enter your login name: Red223 Welcome to Trustno1's private chat room. Enjoy your visit. Current visitors: LGM-F Red223: Hello. I'm glad to be here. I haven't spoken to you all in, what, a day? LGM-F: How are you feeling? I heard you took a big spill down the stairs at Trustno1's apartment building. Red223: I hurt. I thought sitting on a pillow would help decrease the pain in my butt but it hasn't. Trustno1: You're a doctor, Red. I thought you would know that. But I'm really sorry that kid left his Hot Wheel car on the steps. Who knew it would take you on such a ride? Red223: *lol*. :( I hope you have to endure this pain one day. It is not fun. Everything I do hurts. The doctor just said I bruised my tailbone. That's all. I should be back next week. LGM-F: I'm really sorry, Red. L. and B. want to go out for pizza. Red223: Isn't that nice? You do everything together. LGM-F: Here's a rose from all of us. @--->---- Red223: That's so sweet. I really appreciate you caring that I'm injured. :D Come by my house with some pizza--just you! ;) LGM-F: REALLY?!?! Sure! I'm logging off right n-- **LGM-F has logged off** Trustno1: It's not nice to tease a man like F., Red. He's gonna show up. I bet you anything. Red223: Let him. I'm really lonely, all cooped up by myself. I actually had the time to watch _Titanic_. Trustno1: I'm *so* sorry. Why don't I come by tomorrow, and I'll bring some Chinese food. We'll make a night of it, and I'll bring a movie that won't make you gag. Red223: I didn't mind _Titanic_ that much. I just had to watch the entire thing on my back, and it was hell to get up to go to the bathroom. I did that quite often, since the movie was over three hours long. Trustno1: So it's just us here, huh? Red223: Why? Does that make you nervous? :) What are you doing? Trustno1: Nothing. Just listening to music. I have this really cool song "Paranoia" by this group called the Barstool Prophets. It's sounds a lot like me,especially this one line, "If paranoia's the result of simply knowing the truth/Then how I feel could be called paranoia." That's me in a nutshell, n'est pas? Red223: Do you even know what "n'est pas" means? Trustno1: Not really. So what are you wearing? ;) Red223: Absolutely nothing...but my pyjamas! Now, pick your jaw up off the floor. And get the mop! Trustno1: I WAS NOT DROOLING! Red223: You don't have to shout. I can read perfectly fine, even though my eyes hurt...why does bad stuff always happen at your apartment? I mean, me falling...that bee.... Trustno1: Honestly Scully, I was wondering the same thing. But a little straight-forward, aren't we? Perhaps we should just hang at your place from now on. Red223: HEY! It's Red! And Trustno1, I like your plan a lot. My apartment is a little safer than yours. Trustno1: Sorry, *RED*. And I thought the LGM were paranoid! Sheesh! Red223: I was really happy you came to help me when I fell. I swear, my life *actually* flashed before my eyes as I was falling. Luckily, it was only on my butt. Now I think, "What if I had broken my neck and died?" I would like to die with more dignity. Trustno1: Are all pathologists this morbid? ;) Red, don't think that way. But in case you'd like to know, dying from a fall leaves you with more dignity than dying of, say, auto-erotic asphyxiation. Red223: You know, Trustno1? You always make me laugh. *lol* Trustno1: Are you smiling? You rarely smile. Do I make you smile? Red223: Yes. I'm smiling. See? :P Trustno1: That's rude. B There. I just mooned you. Red223: You just made that up! But really, I'm laughing :D and smiling. :) Trustno1: Wanna hear a joke about Bill Clinton? The LGM told it to me. Red223: No thanks. F. emailed me all his filthy, filthy jokes. Trustno1: I guess you heard the one about the toothbrush then? Red223: Yup! Well, I'm getting really tired. I'm supposed to take a Tylenol 3 soon. That'll knock me out cold. I'll just fall asleep watching Jerry Springer. Trustno1: You watch that? I'll let you go sleep. I'm watching a movie on cable tonight. Red223: Um, is it _Good Will Humping_? ;) Good night, Trustno1. Trustno1: Good night, Red. Sweet dreams. **Red223 has logged off** Trustno1: Did I just type "Sweet dreams"? Oh sh-- END ********* Feedback? Flames? "Put another log on the fire!" whipples@connect.ab.ca or avatar27@connect.ab.ca Quit staring. I'm fine! What were you expecting?