Josh LeReux
"Welcome to UWM Wrestling Mayhem'99 pay-per-view. I am Steven and the man next to me is PD Derek,"said Steven. Derek said,"This is going to be a great night! There are so many huge matches like the Hardcore Championship, the first blood match, the D-Kef or Leave Match, the Heavyweight Championship Main Event, and my favorite THE WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP 3-WAY DANCE WITH ALL THEM PUPPIES!" Steven said,"That's right, Derek. We will see all those matches and more." The lights went out and Josh LeReux walked out. He got into the ring, grabbed a mike, and said,"EdgE666...Kef-Pac...tonight. That shouldn't be. It should be ME verses EdgE666 Not Kef-Pac. Now I gotta fight the leader of the Moose Pack Macho Moose. Big FUCKIN deal! Let's make it interesting. I want a First Blood Match. I promise I'll destroy Macho Moose like I will EdgE666 and Kef-Pac." The Moose Pack's music started playing and all four members walked out. Macho Moose grabbed a mike and said,"OHHHHHH YEAH! Macho Moose will destroy you as ReyMoose Jr and Big Moose will destroy Pane and Adam Blackman as EdgE666 will destroy Kef-Pac. If you even thing about interfering in one of our matches, we will take you down MOOSE PACK STYLE! The last sound you'll ever heard is this." They made their hands like antlers and made the Moose Call. "I like it Doggy Style,"said Derek.
RoadFoxx vs. Jerkicho
Jerkicho came out first and the crowd booed. "Well, it's obvious who the fans are going to be cheering for in this match. This will be a dog collar match, the two opponents will be joined together by a long dog chain which will be attached on dog collars on their necks." Steven said. The ref made sure Foxx and Jerkicho had their dog collars on, then rang the bell. Jerkicho went after Foxx with the chain wrapped around his fist, but Foxx whipped him into the corner using the chain. Foxx pulled the chain towards himself so that Jerkicho would come towards him, then Foxx put him down with a clothesline. "Foxx may have the advantage in this one, he competed in a dog collar match just 8 days ago, he has some experience. This is all new to Jerkicho." Steven said. Foxx ran towards Jerkicho, but Jerkicho back body dropped him over the ropes. Foxx's feet didn't reach the outside, and Jerkicho was hanging him over the ropes. "Wow! The momentum almost snapped Foxx's neck!" Steven yelled. Jerkicho let go and Foxx went crashing to the ground. Jerkicho went to the outside and threw Foxx into the steel steps. Jerkicho rolled Foxx into the ring and showboated a little to the crowd, but the crowd booed. When Jerkicho went back over to Foxx, Foxx lowblowed him. Foxx got up, wrapped the chain around his fist, punched him once, twice, did a little dance, then he lowblowed him again. "Wow, Foxx fooled everyone there!" Steven said. "Ouch, think how much that must've hurt Jerkicho with the steel wrapped around his fist!" Derek said. Foxx whipped Jerkicho into the corner and started waving his arms around. "Chuga Chuga Chuga Choo Choo! It's the FOXXXXXXXX TRAIN!" Derek yelled. Foxx ran at Jerkicho and gave him the Foxx train. Foxx picked up Jerkicho and gave him the Foxx Drop. Foxx covered 1...2...3! Foxx wins the Dog Collar match.
ReyMooseJr/Big Moose vs. Adam Blackman/Pane
Derek licked his lips and said "Slobber-knocker." Adam and Pane came out first and the crowd booed them and threw things at them. "Adam and Pane look focused, this should be a great fight." Steven said. Rey and the Big Moose came out next and the crowd roared. Rey jumped up and down on his way to the ring, and the Big Moose looked directly at Pane and Adam. "This is a classic tag team match up, the Rage against the Moosepack." Steven said. The match started off with Rey against Adam. Adam ran at Rey and tried to clothesline him, but Rey dropkicked him. Rey punched Adam a few times, then whipped him in the corner. Rey splashed him and Adam fell down in the corner. Rey ran to the other corner and did a bronco buster. Rey dragged Adam to the center of the ring and covered 1...2...Adam kicked out. Rey ran off the ropes, Adam tried to clothesline him, but Rey ducked, then Rey bounced off the other ropes and Adam gave Rey a spinebuster. Rey was down and Adam was exhausted. Rey slowly got to his feet and Adam managed to make the tag to Pane. Pane came in and hammered on Rey. "Look at the huge size difference, is there anyway Rey can do anything against Pane?" Steven said. Pane gorilla press slammed Rey to the mat then choked him. The ref counted 1, 2, 3, 4 and Pane broke the hold. Pane brought Rey to his feet, and Rey pushed Pane away then dropkicked him. Rey climbed the ropes and waited for Pane to get up. Rey jumped at Pane and attempted a cross body splash from the top rope, but Pane caught him. Pane did a backbreaker. Pane covered 1...2...Rey kicked out. "How did Rey get the energy to kick out?" Steven said. Pane whipped Rey off the ropes and went for a clothesline, but Rey ducked. As Rey bounced off the other ropes, he tagged the Big Moose. "Wow, what a tag! Did Pane even see it?!" Steven yelled. Pane gave Rey a spinebuster and covered, but the ref didnt count because Rey wasn't the legal man. Pane went over to the ref, but the Big Moose clobbered him in the back of the head. The Big Moose kept punching Pane, and when Adam came in, he set him down with a massive clothesline. The Big Moose did a backbreaker on Pane and covered 1...2...Pane kicked out. The Big Moose did some elbow drops then signalled to the crowd. The Big Moose picked Adam up and Moose Slammed him to the outside of the ring. Then the Big Moose went over to Pane and Moose Slammed him. The Big Moose covered Pane 1...2...3! The Moosepack team wins.
DDT vs. Rini vs. Tygress
Derek shouted "PUPPIES!" everytime one of the women came out. "This should be a great match!" Derek said. "Tygress may have a bit of an advantage here because she didn't have to wrestle last week." Steven said. "Yah, maybe Steven, but Rini's going to have some momentum after beating DDT last week for the title. Rini is going into this match as the world champion." Derek said. "The rules of a triple threat match are simple, for those of you who don't know. The first women to get 1 pin wins." Steven said. Once the 3 women were in the ring the ref called for the bell to start the match. Rini and DDT teamed up on Tygress at the beginning. They both pummelled her with right hands. Rini whipped Tygress into the turnbuckle then DDT splashed her. Rini picked up Tygress to do a powerbomb and then DDT added some extra force by slamming Tygress head down while she was being powerbombed. As soon as the double powerbomb was finished, DDT kicked Rini in the stomach. DDT threw Rini off the ropes and then clotheslined her. DDT stomped Rini a few times, bounced off the ropes and did a leg drop. DDT covered 1...2..Rini kicked out. Tygress slowly got up. DDT picked up Rini and threw her off the ropes. DDT went to clothesline Rini, but Rini ducked. Rini went to bounce off the other ropes, but Tygress was there. Tygress back body dropped Rini out of the ring and then clotheslined DDT. Tygress did a side-russian leg sweep. Tygress bounced DDT off the ropes, but DDT was pulled down and dragged to the outside by Rini, who was already outside the ring. Rini gave DDT a few european uppercuts, then threw her into the steel steps. Rini jumped back into the ring and Tygress kicked her in the ribs. Tygress suplexed Rini, then climbed the top rope. "Tygress is going to go for the Tyger Pounce!" Steven yelled. "POUNCE PUPPIES POUNCE!" Derek screamed. DDT got up and shook the ropes, causing Tygress to fall off the top rope and to the outside. DDT got in the ring. DDT grabbed Rini to do a piledriver. Rini tried to counter by doing a back body drop, but DDT landed on her feet. DDT went for her finisher the kangaroo kick, but Rini ducked, then Rini sidewalk slammed her. Rini covered 1...2...3! Rini retains the women's championship.
Hardcore Howie vs. The Brain
Steven said,"This is it. The Hardcore Championship Match. Last night, Hardcore Howie pinned both Jerkicho and The Brain even though the match was just against Jerkicho and then, Howie took the Hardcore Belt. The Brain wants his belt back and the only way Howie would give it back is if Brain beat him in a Hardcore Match." Hardcore Howie came out first and Brain and Jerkicho jumped him from behind. The ref ran out and started the match. Brain and Jerkicho took turns beating Howie with chairs. They tossed him backstage and began hitting him with brooms, light bulbs, barrels, and other things. Jerkicho put Howie in a Lion Two-Timer that was a little off to the side. The crowd saw the match on the Big TVs. Brain put an extra bell on Howie's head and did the Brain's elbow on it while he was still in the Lion Two-Timer. Brain pinned. The ref counted 1..2 and Howie kicked out. Brain and Jerkicho brought him to a door and slammed his head in it. They brought Howie outside. Steven said,"This match is all over the place!" Brain tried to piledrive Hardcore Howie on the cement but he countered, lifted him up, and did a sidewalk slam. He pinned Brain but before the ref could count Jerkicho kicked Howie off. Howie got up and looked at Jerkicho. Jerkicho backed up as Howie walked towards him. Jerkicho kept going back and back until he was inside. Howie slammed the door shut and locked it from the outside. Derek laughed and said,"No more Jerkicho. It's just Brain and Howie. SLOBBER-KNOCKER!" Brain lowblowed Howie and they exchanged blows all over the parking lot. Brain whipped Howie to the chainlinked fence but he countered and whipped Brain into it. Howie climbed the fence and waited for Brain to get up so he could do his Bulldog. Brain got up and fell into the fence. Hardcore Howie fell backwards and rolled down a hill. Brain and the ref climbed over the fence and ran over down the hill to get to Howie.Steve said,"Let's get a camera down there." The ref and Brain couldn't find him till Howie jumped down from the trees. He did his Bulldog but it was on the ref. Derek said,"This is a real Slobber-Knocker! I wonder what the main event will be like." Brain grabbed a stone and started hitting Howie's head with it. Steven said,"Hardcore Howie has been busted open." Brain was trying to get the ref up but it was no good. The ref got a Bulldog on a hard rock. Steven said,"I just got word they are sending another ref out there." Derek said,"I think you're hearing things. I didn't hear anything." Steven said,"They tell me important things because you may be drunk." "oh.." said Derek and then, he was quiet. Brain was running around looking for a ref. He knew he had Howie beat. Brain covered Howie and did a 5 count. Finally, a ref came down. Brain run up to him and started screaming at him how he had it won. When they got down to the bottom of the hill, Hardcore Howie was gone. Brain said,"Oh crap.." and Howie came down from the trees. The Bulldog hit it's mark on Brain. Howie covered. The ref counted 1..2..3. Hardcore Howie is the new Hardcore Champion.
Macho Moose vs. Josh LeReux
"Well Derek this match is going to be a what?", "PUPPIES!!!!!!" Steven moved his chair to the other side of the table. Josh came out first and grabbed a mike. "Macho Moose, im gonna make you bleed, thats a promise!!!" Macho Moose came out with mike in hand, "I'm gonna snap you like a slim jim OHHHHH YEAH." Macho Moose ran to the ring and the match started. "A reminder folks that this is a first blood match and anythings legal, the match can only stop when one man is bleeding" said Steven. Macho Moose kicked Josh until he was on the ground and choked him with his foot. When Josh could barely breath Macho let go and went outside the ring, flipped up the ring cover and pulled out all sorts of weapons. Macho grabbed a trash can and hit Josh repeataly with it. Macho put the can down, picked up Josh and Evenmoosed Josh on it. "I'm a lean mean puppie machine" said Derek. ".............., back to the match" said Steven. Macho Moose was gonna Evenmoose Josh again but Josh reversed it with a northern lights suplex. Macho got up and Josh hit him with a spine-buster on the trash can. Macho Moose was thriving in pain. Josh went outside and grabbed 4 tables. Josh put the tables in the ring and set them up in each corner. "Whats he doing" said Steven. Josh picked Macho up and threw him into the first corner breaking the table. Josh picked up Macho and threw him into the second corner breaking that table. Josh went to throw Macho into the third table but Macho reversed it and Josh hit that table. Josh got up slowly and Macho Moose t-boned suplexed him on to the trash can. Macho Moose grabbed the fourth table and set it up. Macho picked Josh up and did a bodyslam on to the table. "If this were a hardcore match this match would be over" said Steven. Josh was out of it. Macho Moose went outside and set up a table. Macho picked up a steel chair and went back into the ring. Macho went to hit Josh but Josh kicked him in the stomach took the chair and hit Macho on the back. Macho was down. Josh took the chair and wrapped it around Machos leg and stompped on the chair. "Thats gonna break his shin" said Steven. "Snap into a puppies OH YEAH!!" said Derek. Josh noticed the table that was set up outside and picked up Macho Moose and brought him over to the ropes. Josh got on the outside of the ropes and tried to suplex Macho. Macho blocked, kicked Josh a few times and sunset flipped over Josh but held on to Josh's hips and powerbombed Josh threw the table. "OH MY GOD" screamed Steven. The crowd went balistic when Macho did that. But still no one was bleeding. Macho went into the ring set the chair up and got Josh in the ring. Macho put Josh on the top and climbed up. "Whats he doing" said Steven. "I'll have a hamburger with large puppies please" said Derek. Macho Moose Evenmoosed Josh onto the chair from the top rope. Josh was busted wide open. The ref called for the bell and Macho Moose won. Macho Moose called for the mike. "Tonight I just proved to everyone that i've always been better than Josh LeReux." Josh got up. "He's always sucked!!!" Josh spun Macho around and did the Josh LeReux Driver on to the chair. Macho Moose was bleeding now. Josh picked the mike up, "I promised you I would make him bleed." Josh left the ring."Good God what a match" said Steven.
Triple X vs. Kevin Michaels
Steven said,"This match is almost as exciting as the pay-per-view. Two wrestlers, from the same group, a hatred, one will stay and the other will leave. These wrestlers are Triple X and Kevin Michaels. The group: Degeneration-Kef. It was about a month ago when Triple X and HBK started fighting and tonight in that very ring it will be over. The fight for who's in D-Kef! Let's go to the action." Triple X walked out first and threw porn mags and videos into the crowd. "I think only pervs like Triple X,"said Steven. "I like Triple X,"said Pimp Daddy Derek as Triple X gave him a porn video called "Ernest Meets the Naughty Night Nurses." HBK came down and the girls all cheered. Steven said,"The crowd's half and half on this match. The guys like Triple X and the girls like Heart Break Kevin." HBK grabbed the mike and said,"Hellllo Ladies." The women roared. HBK continued,"You know the Big Kevbowski is like a mailed package. They both must be handled with care and both won't do anything till you put your wet stamp on them." The women roared again. Derek said,"You know what. I'm like a mailed package too. I like the puppies." Steven asked,"Are you drunk again?" Derek said,"Maybe," and then, fell over. The bell rang and Triple X and Kevin Michaels went after each other. Triple X bodyslammed HBK, bounced off the ropes, and did a legdrop. He picked Kevin up but Kevin did a neckbreaker. Triple X fell backwards and HBK covered. The ref counted 1.. and a kick out. Steven said,"This is for all the marbles." Derek said,"Marbles are gay." Kevin picked Triple X up and Triple X went downstairs with a lowblow. The ref didn't see it. Triple X ddt'ed him and covered. Ref counted 1..2 and HBK kicked out. Triple X whipped him to the ropes and went for a clothesline but Kevin Michaels ducked, bounced off the ropes, and did a bulldog. HBK climbed the turnbuckle and showed off for the crowd. Triple X came from behind, grabbed his legs, and pulled. Kevin's head hit the turnbuckle pad and Triple X rolled him up. The ref counted 1..2. and a kick out. Steven said,"That was close." Triple X and Kevin got up at the same time and were face-to-face. Steven said,"You could cut this tension with a.." Derek yelled,"PUPPIES!" They exchanged blows until they were both down to their knees. Derek threw a beer can at Kevin's head. The ref went over to Derek and told him not to interview. Derek got up and hit the ref with a chair. Steven screamed,"DEREK! What are you do!?" Derek said,"That's the man that kill my mom." Steven said,"Your mom is still alive." Derek said,"My point exactly." Triple X and HBK were all tired out and both fell over. The crowd boo'ed and threw things into the ring. Another ref came out. He counted 1..2..3..4..5..6..7 and then, they got up. Kevin went for the Sweet & Sour Chin Music but Triple X grabbed his leg and clotheslined him. Triple X picked him up but Kevin pushed him away and did the Sweet & Sour Chin Music. HBK fell over on top of him. The ref counted and the crowd counted along 1..2.. NO! Triple X kicked out. He pushed HBK off him and picked him up. Triple X did the Sex Degree on Kevin and covered. The ref counted 1..2.. NO! HBK kicked out. Steven said,"Two close calls. I don't know who's going to win." Derek walked over to the down Triple X. Derek yelled,"DO IT FOR THE PUPPIES!" and fell over. HBK got up first and picked Triple X up. Triple X yelled,"PUPPIES!" and lowblowed Kevin. The ref told Triple X to stay above the belt. Triple did the Sex Degree again and covered. The ref counted 1..2..3. Triple X won. Triple X stays in Degeneration-Kef and Kevin Michaels must leave.
Kef-Pac vs. EdgE666
Steven said,"This is it the Main Event. I can't wait." The ring announcer got into the ring. He said,"This is the UWM Wrestling Mayhem Pay-Per-View MAIN EVENT for the Heavyweight Championship of the World! ARE YOU READY! DETROIT ARE YOU REEEEAAADDDYYY! For the thousands in attendance and the millions watching at home. Ladies and gentlemen.. LET'S GET READY TO.." "KRAM IT," yelled Kef-Pac. The ring announcer continued,"Making his way to the ring wearing green and black. He weights in at 210 pounds, the leader of Degeneration-Kef, KEF-PAC!" EdgE666 came out from the crowd. The ring announcer continued,"Making his way to the ring wearing brown and black. He weights in at 240 pounds, a founder of the Moose Pack and the HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD! EDGE666!" Steven said,"What a great match! And once again, the crowd is half and half. You got your Moose Pack fans and then, you got your D-Kef fans." Derek yelled,"AND THEN, YOU GOT YOUR PUPPIES FANS!" The lights went out and Josh LeReux came out. Steven said," He's not happy this match is taking place." Macho Moose, Big Moose, and ReyMooseJr jumped Josh from behind. Steven said,"No way will Moose Pack let Josh be a factor in this match." EdgE666 ran at Kef-Pac for a spear but he moved and EdgE666 went headfirst into the turnbuckle. The ref rang the bell and Kef-Pac rolled him up. The ref counted 1..2. and EdgE666 kicked out. Steven said,"Wouldn't that be something if Kef-Pac beat him in 5 seconds." They got up. Kef-Pac did a spin kick. EdgE666 caught it then, Kef-Pac jumped up, and kicked him with the other leg. Kef-Pac whipped EdgE666 into the corner but EdgE666 bounced off the turnbuckle and clotheslined him. Steven said,"A clothesline from Hell!" EdgE666 pick Kef-Pac up and tried for the Moose Cutter but Kef-Pac pushed him away. EdgE666 bounced into the ropes facefirst and Kef-Pac did a spinkick to the back of his head. Kef-Pac climbed the toprope and waited for EdgE666 to get up. EdgE666 got up and Kef-Pac went for a toprope X-Compactor but EdgE666 countered into a Moose Spiral. EdgE666 covered. The ref counted 1..2.. and Kef-Pac kicked out. Steven said,"How could Kef-Pac take so much punishment and still kick out?" EdgE666 picked Kef-Pac up and put him in a headlock. Kef-Pac pushed EdgE666 against the ropes and EdgE666 came back with a crossbody block. The ref counted 1..2. and Kef-Pac kicked out. Kef-Pac got up slowly. EdgE666 went for the EvenMoose but Kef-Pac countered and threw him outside the ring. Kef-Pac climbed the turnbuckle and made a flying crossbody block on EdgE666. Steven said,"Ouch! Both of them got hurt on that move." They got up at the same time. EdgE666 threw Kef-Pac into the steel steps. EdgE666 pulled Kef-Pac into the ring and covered. The ref counted 1..2. and a kick out. EdgE666 tried to dropkick Kef-Pac but he moved and the ref got hit. EdgE666 was checking on the ref while Kef-Pac got up. The crowd roared as they saw Kef-Pac doing the Kram It sign behind EdgE666. EdgE666 turned around and Kef-Pac did the X-Compactor. Steven said,"It's all over but there's no ref!" Kef-Pac was trying to get the ref up when something came from above. Steven pointed and yelled,"What's that!? Who's that!?" Derek yelled,"It's a giant puppy!" The strange figure came down from the ceiling wearing a trenchcoat and brown and black facepaint. The figure tapped on Kef-Pac's shoulders when Kef-Pac turned around the man in the trenchcoat hit him with a ballbat. Steven said,"Oh my God! Kef-Pac is out! Who is this guy? Is he Moose Pack? He's wearing brown and black." The man pulled EdgE666 on top of Kef-Pac. The ref got up and counted 1...2...3. EdgE666 won and is still the Heavyweight Champion of the World. The man rose out of the ring and disappeared as fast as he appeared. The crowd looked shocked and all were looking for the mystery man.