The Brain vs. The Big Moose
"Welcome to another exciting night of UWM Friday Night. I'm Steven G. and the announcer next to me is PD Derek," said Steven. The Brain came out and once again, the crowd chanted "Nugget." The Brain grabbed the mike and said," I am not a nugget! I am the Hardcore Champion and no one can beat me. I challenge any jabroni in the back to come out and fight me." Then, his music came on. WEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLL, well it's the Big Moose! The Brain was trembling as he saw the Big Moose walk towards the ring. The Brain grabbed a chair from the ringside area and screamed at the Big Moose to go away. Steven said,"The Big Moose already has a match tonight. Big Moose verses Adam Blackman. He better not use all his energy in this match." Derek said,"Are we looking at the same match? I see a 500 pound giant verses a 90 pound midget. The Big Moose isn't gonna have to use any energy to beat him." The Big Moose got in. The Brain ran at him with a chair but got the big boot to the face. Big Moose picked him up and Moose Dropped him on his knee. He pushed The Brain's arms down and did sort of a backbreaker submission. Derek said,"See? What did I tell you? The Brain is gonna give and The Big Moose will be the new Hardcore champion!" Steven said,"Okay, I guess I was...WAIT A MINUTE! That's Adam Blackman!" Adam rolled into the ring infront of the Big Moose and before the Big Moose could get up, Adam hit him in the head with that Kendle stick. He continued to beat on Big Moose until Joe Hart ran out. Their fight went out into the crowd and that left The Brain and The Big Moose in the ring. The Brain saw the down Big Moose and went for the cover. The ref counted 1..2..The Big Moose kicked out. Steven said to Derek,"I guess you were wrong." Derek said back,"I'm gonna kick your ass after the show." Steven was silent. The Big Moose got up and then, Pane came out. The Big Moose was about to Moose Slam The Brain but Pane hit him with the chair The Brain was gonna use. Derek said,"I guess the Pane-in-the-Ass didn't like what happened at the pay-per-view." Steven said,"Pane was pretty mad after he lost to The Big Moose." Pane knew it was too hard to powerbomb The Big Moose so he did a piledriver on the chair. Steven said,"Wait! There's ReyMooseJr!" ReyMooseJr climbed the turnbuckle and missle dropkicked Pane. The Brain covered The Big Moose. The ref counted 1..2. and ReyMooseJr kicked The Brain off. ReyMooseJr went to clothesline The Brain over the toprope but Pane grabbed ReyMooseJr and did the Super Powerbomb on him. The Brain covered The Big Moose again. The ref counted 1..2..3. The Brain retains the Hardcore Championship. Derek said,"What a great match to start this UWM Friday Night. We saw The Big Moose, The Brain, Adam Blackman, Joe Hart, Pane, and ReyMooseJr! I wonder what else is in store for tonight."
Triple X and RoadFoxx Interview
James G>Why have you come here today?
RoadFoxx>Let's make this short and sweet. Macho Moose only won because ReyMooseJr interfered.
Triple X>He did not beat me. I want a piece of ReyMooseJr and Macho Moose tonight if they have the guts to fight.
RoadFoxx>We know you're in the building so if you don't fight us, the whole world will know you're pussies.
James G>I'm sure ReyMooseJr also wants to get his hands on you. EvE interfered and he lost to you Foxx.
RoadFoxx>This interview is over.
James G>Now, back to you Steven and Derek,
Kevin Michaels vs. KidMike
"This should be a good match. Kidmike has not won a match yet, he is 0-3. Kidmike would sure like to put this losing streak to an end tonight." Steven said. Kidmike started out on fire. He punched Kevin a few times and then drop-kicked him. Kidmike climbed the turnbuckle, waited for Kevin to get up and then drop-kicked him from the top rope. Kidmike splashed Kevin in the corner. Kevin fell down to the ground. Kidmike climbed the turnbuckle and signaled for the Super Star Press. "If he connects here, it's all over! Of course, the Super Star Press could never compete with my Sex-Degree." Derek said. Kidmike went for the Super Star Press, but Kevin rolled out of the way. Both men were down and hurting. The ref counted 1...2...3...4...5...6 then Kidmike rose to his feet, with Kevin close behind. Kidmike bounced Kevin against the ropes and tried to clothesline him, but Kevin ducked. Kevin bounced off the ropes on the other side and drop-kicked him in the back of the head. Kevin went to the corner and started stamping his foot. Kidmike got to his feet, and before he could get his guard up, Kevin delivered the Sweet and Sour Chin Music. Kevin covered 1...2...3! The Heart Break Kevin wins.
Crispy vs. Joe Hart
"This match could go either way. Crispy hasn't wrestled in a few weeks now. That could be an advantage for him in fatigue, but he might have a little ring-rust on him." Steven said. The ref rang the bell, and Crispy got the first few shots in. Crispy suplexed Joe and began to work on Joe's legs. "Crispy is thinking for once, he knows that it takes a lot of leg strength to put on the Dullshooter." Derek said. Crispy pulled Joe up and whipped him into the corner. Crispy signaled to the crowd. "He's going to try to finish Joe off!" Derek said. Crispy ran at Joe and went for the Crispy Spear, but Joe countered it into a DDT. Joe kicked him in the legs a few times, then dragged him into the center of the ring. Joe put on the Dullshooter, and Crispy gave up. Joe "Tough Guy" Hart wins.
Tygress vs. DDT
Diamond Dallas Tracy walked out. "PUPPIES!" yelled Derek. "Well Derek, this is the match you've been waiting for all night" Steven said. "Shut up Steven, I don't have time to talk right now, I'm looking at the puppies!" Derek said. The women's champ Tygress came out next. Derek yelled "PUPPIES!" again. Tygress got in the ring and was attacked by Tracy right away. Tracy kept punching Tygress and then body slammed her. "No matter what people may think, these women can wrestle!" said Steven. DDT whipped Tygress into the turnbuckle and started punching her. The crowd counted along with the punches 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 then Tygress picked DDT up and threw her into the corner and began kicking her in the ribs. "Diamond Dallas Tracy may have an advantage here. DDT was thrown out in the Women's Over The Top Battle Royal right away, while Tygress had to fight her way threw the whole match. The longer this match goes, the better chance DDT has to win." Steven said. Just as Steven said that, Tygress whipped DDT into the ropes hard and climbed the turnbuckle. As DDT bounced back from the turnbuckle dazed, Tygress speared her from the top rope, the Tyger Pounce. "What a move! I don't know anyone who can get up from that, male or female." said Steven. Tygress pinned 1...2...3! Tygress retained the Women's Championship. "You were quiet this whole match Derek, what's up?" Steven said. Derek said nothing, but continued to stare wide-eyed at Tygress as she celebrated in the ring.
Jerkicho vs. Blackdust
Jerkicho came down first. The crowd boo'ed him. Blackdust came out next and Blackdust fell from the ceiling. Steven said,"What's that in Blackdust's hand?" Blackdust told the ref to make sure the timekeeper was doing his job. When the ref turned his back, Blackdust threw some black dust that was in his hand at Jerkicho's face. The ref didn't see it and rang the bell. Jerkicho sneezed and sneezed. Derek laughed and said,"Sneezing powder!" Blackdustt DDT'ed Jerkicho and covered. The ref counted 1..2 and Jerkicho kicked out. BlackDust set Jerkicho up in the corner for the ShatteredNightmares Kick. PD Derek said,"Look it's The Brain why is he out here?" Blackdust ran to the opposite corner and went for the shatteredNightmares kick but The Brain tripped him. The ref didn't see it. Steven said,"Does the Brain have something against Blackdust or is he helping Jerkicho?" Derek said,"We'll find out later but who cares? They are all losers!" The Brain distracted Blackdust and Jerkicho did a Release German Suplex on him. Jerkicho grabbed Blackdust's legs and put him in the Lion Two-Timer. Blackdust gave up. Jerkicho won. The Brain grabbed the mike and said,"I like your style. It's a cheat-to-win style. I think we should become a team. We could take the Championship belt. What do you say?" He puts his hand forward and Jerkicho shakes it. "Wow! What a team! The Brain and Jerkicho," Steven said. "What the fuck? They both suck and you think it's a good team? That's crap," said Derek.
The Big Moose vs. Adam Blackman
Steven said,"Both The Big Moose and Adam Blackman are hurting from the first match we had tonight,"said Steven. Pimp Daddy Derek licked his lips and said,"That was a real slobber-knocker and this match will be too because it's Hardcore Rules." Steven said,"I just got word that The Big Moose, Adam Blackman, Pane, and Joe Hart are all fighting in the back parking lot. They are sending a ref back there to start this match." A ref went out there and the bell rang. The Big Moose and Pane were exchanging blows and Joe and Adam were fighting on top of a car. "This match is between The Big Moose and Adam Blackman. They are fighting the wrong people," said Steven. Derek said,"That must be Joe's car. He's got the keys and opened it up. I can't wait to see what happens next!" Joe slammed the door on Adam's arm. Derek said,"That's gotta hurt!" The Big Moose was trying to slam Pane's head throw the window of a car but Pane elbowed him and clotheslined him. Joe got in his car and drove away. Adam got up slowly holding his broken arm. The Big Moose Moose Slammed Pane onto the ground. Adam went to attack The Big Moose but Joe came back and hit Adam with his compact car. Adam's head hit the windshield and busted him open. Derek laugh and said,"The ref has no control!" The Big Moose tried to pick the car up and rolled it over onto to Pane. Pane moved but the car still landed on his leg. The Big Moose fell over tired. Adam climbed on top of the car and did a leg drop across The Big Moose's throat. Adam covered him. The ref counted 1..2..3. Adam Blackman won. Derek said,"What a match! Now that's Hardcore!"
Triple X/RoadFoxx vs. Macho Moose/ReyMooseJr
Triple X and the RoadFoxx came out first. RoadFoxx grabbed the mike and said,"Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages, Degeneration-Kef proudly brings to you one half of the soon to be TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WOOOOOORLD! I am the RoadFoxx and this is Triple X and we are gonna KICK THE MOOSE PACK'S ASS! Triple X grabbed the mike and said,"For the thousands in attendence and the millions watching at home, for this Triple X and that F-O-Double X, ladies and Gentlmen, LEEEEEEEEEET'S GETTING TOOO KRAAAM IT" The Moose Pack's music came on and Macho Moose and ReyMooseJr came. Macho Moose had a mike and said,"OHHHHHH NO! You are not gonna be the tag champs as long as Macho Moose and EdgE666 are around. You're just Tag Team Chumps!OHHHHHH YEAH!" Macho Moose and ReyMooseJr ran into the ring. Triple X took on Macho Moose and RoadFoxx took on ReyMooseJr. Triple X threw Macho Moose out and he got out of the ring to attack him. RoadFoxx and ReyMooseJr were left in the ring. ReyMooseJr threw RoadFoxx to the ropes but Foxx countered and clotheslined him. Foxx bounced off the ropes and went for the RoadKill but ReyMooseJr move. On the outside, Macho Moose EvenMoosed Triple X. In the ring, ReyMoose tried to punch RoadFoxx but he grabbed ReyMooseJr's arm, put it between ReyMooseJr's legs, and pump-handle slammed him. RoadFoxx threw him in the corner and went to the opposite corner. Derek said,"We're gonna see the FOXXXXX TRAIN!" The RoadFoxx stood on the Turnbuckle and danced for the crowd. Macho Moose put a chair behind ReyMooseJr's back and yelled at the ref that Triple X need medical help. Macho Moose ducked down and RoadFoxx turned around. The ref went outside to check on Triple X and RoadFoxx ran at ReyMooseJr. When he got close, Macho Moose tripped ReyMooseJr. The RoadFoxx tripped over ReyMooseJr and flew headfirst into a steel chair. Derek laugh and said,"Did you see that? The Foxx Train crashed!" Macho Moose put ReyMooseJr on top of The RoadFoxx. The ref came back in when he saw that Triple X was ok. The ref counted 1..2..3. Macho Moose and ReyMooseJr won. Steven said,"That's unfair. They cheated." Derek said,"Ya gotta do what ya gotta do."
Josh LeReux vs. Kef-Pac
Steven said,"This is gonna be a great match. Good vs. Evil. Josh LeReux vs. Kef-Pac. Who do you think will win, Derek?" Derek said,"Please be quiet. I got hammered during the break." Josh LeReux came out first with Crispy. Josh grabbed the mike and said,"EdgE666...you think you beat me. You think you won. You think you're the greatest. Well, you're wrong. You will win this match against that puny Kef-Pac and at the next pay-per-view, I'll prove that no one...I mean no one..can beat me." His eyes rolled up into the back of his head. Steven said,"Is there anyone more evil in this sport than that man?" The lights went out. We heard EdgE666's voice say,"Ahhhhhh...get ready." The lights come back on and EdgE666 is standing infront of Josh. Steven said,"What's EdgE666 doing here? He doesn't have a match tonight." He grabbed the mike and said,"First, I did beat you. Second, I did win. Third, I'm the one with the Gold so I am the greatest and you can't stand that. HA HA HA! I'll be watching you Josh." The lights went out and when they came back on, EdgE666 was gone. D-Kef's music started playing and Kef-Pac ran out. He got in the ring and did a spinning jumpkick to Josh but it didn't phase him. Kef-Pac tried another but it also didn't phase him. Kef-Pac jumped up in the air, faked a jumpkick, and tripped Josh. Josh fell backwards, hit the ropes, and got tied up. Kef-Pac did kick after kick to Josh LeReux's head. Kef-Pac backed up and did the Kram it sign. Kef was gonna do a running clothesline but Crispy did his Crispy Spear when Kef-Pac turned around. The ref didn't see it because he was talking to Josh. Crispy rolled out of the ring. Josh flipped backwards and landed on his feet on the outside. Josh LeReux went back into the ring. Josh went to powerbomb Kef-Pac but he grabbed his head and did the X-Compactor. The crowd roared. "Be quiet," yelled Derek. Kef-Pac rolled over and covered. The ref and the whole crowd counted 1..2.. and Josh kicked out. Steven said,"Look! It's EdgE666." EdgE666 went ringside. Josh got up and stared at him. EdgE666 starred back. Kef-Pac climbed the turnbuckle. EdgE666 pointed to Kef-Pac, Josh turned to him, and Kef-Pac delivered the X-Compactor from the toprope. Kef-Pac covered. The ref and the crowd again counted 1..2..3! Kef-Pac beat Josh LeReux. Kef-Pac is the No. 1 Contender. Derek was holding his head and saying,"Make it stop. Make it stop." The lights went out and when they came back on, Kef-Pac was covered in Blood.