Degeneration-Kef
"Welcome to a delayed UWM Friday Night. I am Steven and....the man passed out drunk on the floor is Derek,"said Steven. Derek got up and said,"I'm ok. I'm ok. Hey, Steven. Did I ever tell you that you're one handsome woman?" Steven moved his chair away and said,"No...you haven't." Degeneration-Kef's music played and the crowd roared. Kef-Pac, RoadFoxx, and Tygress came out. Derek screamed,"Come here puppies," and fell over. Kef-Pac, RoadFoxx, and Tygress got into the ring. Kef-Pac grabbed the mike and said,"Well for you people that didn't see what happened last week, I'll tell you. Triple X and Kevin Michaels faced the nugget brothers, Brain and Jerkicho. Triple X was holding The Brain for HBK to hit him with a chair but The Brain moved and Kevin hit Triple X. We cannot stop their fighting. We have decided..that there will be a match this pay-per-view...Kevin Michaels vs. Triple X. The winner of that match will stay in D-Kef while the loser...will go to the Ugly Women and Men organization or UWM. After the pay-per-view, we will have one less member but we will have the World Championship Belt!" The RoadFoxx grabbed the mike and said,"And if you're not down with that, I got two words for ya!" The crowd yelled,"Kram it," while Derek yelled,"PUPPIES," and fell over again. Derek sat back in his chair and said,"I'll be ok."
Triple X vs. The Brain
The Brain came out first and the crowd chanted "Nugget" as usual. The Brain grabbed the microphone. "I am not a nugget and to prove it I will beat Triple X's brains in, if he even has any!" Triple X came out and threw magazines, videos and pictures into the crowd. "Hey Triple X, throw me some of that stuff!" Derek yelled. Triple X threw him a magazine. "Well, it seems Derek is going to be occupied, so I guess I'll have to call this match by myself." The Brain got out of the ring and clubbed Triple X with the microphone while he was tossing things out to the crowd. The Brain whipped Triple X into the steel ring post, then rolled him inside the ring. The Brain climbed the ropes. "What's the Brain thinking? I've never seen him climb the ropes before! Derek, aren't you going to say anything?" Steven said. "Yah, check out this girl!" Derek said and he pointed to the magazine. "Never mind..." Steven said, and Derek went back to flipping through the pages. The Brain went for a leg drop off the top rope, but Triple X rolled out of the way. Triple X threw the Brain into the corner and suplexed him in the middle of the ring. Triple X made the Kram It sign, signaling for the Sex Degree. "If he hits with this, it's all over. WAIT! There's the Heart Break Kevin!" Steven yelled. Kevin Michaels came running out from the back. Triple X saw him and grabbed a chair. Kevin did the Sweet and Sour Chin Music into the chair, and the chair hit Triple X. The Brain rolled over and covered 1...2...3! The Brain wins! "Looks like there is a heated rivalry between the 2 D-Kef members, it will be settled at the next pay-per-view," Steven said.
Kevin Michaels vs. Jerkicho
Kevin Michaels came out first, and the women cheered and yelled. The Heart Break Kevin grabbed the microphone. "Thank you ladies, but I'd like to get right down to business tonight. Jerkicho, I'm gonna beat your ass tonight seeing as I don't have that screw-up Triple X fighting with me, if you even call that fighting." Jerkicho came out and ran at HBK. Kevin was ready for him and he drop kicked Jerkicho in the face. Kevin went to throw Jerkicho in the corner, but Jerkicho reversed it and whipped Kevin in the corner. Jerkicho low blowed Kevin, and Kevin fell to his knees. Jerkicho celebrated, but the crowd booed him, and when he went over to Kevin, Kevin lowblowed him back. Kevin german suplexed him and starting stomping his foot in the corner, signaling for the Sweet and Sour Chin Music. "WAIT! There's Triple X!" Steven yelled. Triple X came out with a chair, and Jerkicho distracted the ref. Triple X hit Kevin in the back of the head with a chair, then he Sex Degreed him onto the chair. Jerkicho ran over to Kevin and put him in the Lion Two-Timer. It didn't matter because Kevin was knocked out. The ref rang the bell. Jerkicho wins.
DDT vs. Tygress
DDT came out first, and the guys in the crowd yelled at her and whistled. "Oh, I can't wait any longer, PUPPIES!" Derek said. Tygress came out next and the crowd roared. "Well, the fans seem to like both women, but I'd give the edge on the fan support to Tygress." Steven said. Tygress jumped into the ring and attacked DDT right away. Tygress wrestled her to the mat, got on top of her and started punching her in the face. DDT rolled Tygress over and then started punching her too. "Wow, these puppies are fighting like cats!" Derek yelled. DDT pulled Tygress to her feet and whipped her into the corner. DDT tried to follow up with a clothesline, but Tygress moved and DDT ended up running into the turnbuckle. Tygress side-suplexed DDT as she bounced back out of the corner. Tygress climbed the top rope and waited for DDT to get back to her feet. "She's going to go for the Tyger Pounce!" Steven yelled. "Oh baby, she can pounce on me ANYTIME!" Derek said. Tygress jumped off the top rope, but Tracy turned the Tyger Pounce into a DDT. DDT covered 1...2...3! "We have a new women's champion! Diamond Dallas Tracy wins!" Steven yelled. DDT continued to stomp Tygress. "WAIT! There's Mrs. Ass!" Steven yelled. Derek looked on with anticipation. Bad Ass Chilli Gunn came out with Mean Streak Mystica following close behind. Chilli kicked DDT, but then Mystica hit Chilli in the back. "Wait a minute, what's Mystica doing? Chilli was helping out Tygress, Mystica and Tygress are both D-Kef members, what's going on?" Steven said. Mystica went over to Tygress and kicked her a few times. "It's obvious what's happened Steven, Mystica quit D-Kef." Derek said. Eve came out to help out Tygress and Chilli, but Sexy Della hit Eve from behind as she was running towards the ring. Soon security came out to separate the 6 women. "What a match! Lots of PUPPIES!" Derek yelled.
Big Moose vs. KidMike/Blackdust
"The odds are certainly stacked against the Big Moose in this one. He has to fight 2 men." Steven said. "Are you sure you want to call them men? Neither one of these guys would have a win except they faced each other last week. And besides, if anyone can do it, the Big Moose can." Derek said. Kidmike came out from the back and then Blackdust came out. "This is an interesting tag team, as Derek said, they fought last week. Kidmike lost, extending his losing streak in UWM." Steven said. Then "WEEEEEEEEEEEELL well it's the Big Moose!" The Big Moose came out and the crowd cheered. The Big Moose came into the ring and Kidmike and Blackdust attacked him right away. They punched him down to one knee. "That's not a bad strategy, if you can keep the Big Moose down, then he's not so much of a threat." Derek said. Blackdust threw the Big Moose into the corner, Kidmike splashed him, then Blackdust set up for his Shattered Nightmares Kick. The Big Moose broke free and headbutted Blackdust. Kidmike kicked the Big Moose and waited for Blackdust to get up. Blackdust and Kidmike threw the Big Moose off the ropes and both of them tried to clothesline him, but the Big Moose ducked, bounced off the ropes on the other side, and clotheslined them both. The Big Moose picked up Kidmike, raised him over his head, and threw him down on the outside. "Wow! The Big Moose just threw Kidmike like a rag doll!" Steven said. Blackdust went for a low blow, but the Big Moose kicked him in the face. The Big Moose picked up Blackdust with one hand and Moose Slammed him. The Big Moose covered 1...2...3! Kidmike couldnt get back in the ring in time to make the save. The Big Moose wins the handicap match.
RoadFoxx vs. Adam Blackman
PD Derek licked his lips and said,"Slobber-Knocker! Slobber-Knocker!" "That's right Derek. This will be a slobber-knocker. The first ever Dog Collar Match. The RoadFoxx and Adam Blackman will be taking part in this match and here we go," said Steven as The RoadFoxx's music came on. The RoadFoxx came out and Adam Blackman jumped him from behind. Adam threw Foxx into the steel steps and then, threw him into the ring. The ref told Adam and Foxx to put the Dog Collars on that were attached by a long chain. The RoadFoxx wrapped the chain around his fist. He punched Adam once, twice, three times, did a little dance, and went for the fourth but Adam blocked it and give him a headbutt. Adam pick Foxx up and whipped him to the ropes and as RoadFoxx came back he grabbed the chain and side underneath Blackman. Adam was bent over so The RoadFoxx grabbed one arm below his leg, put his arm around Adam's other arm, and pumphandle slammed him. The RoadFoxx covered and the ref counted 1..2 and Adam kicked out. Foxx whipped Adam into the corner and started getting ready for the Foxx Train. Steven said,"That chain is too short so this Foxx Train will be a short trip." RoadFoxx ran at Adam but Adam jumped out of the way and Foxx hit his head on the turnbuckle. Adam clotheslined The RoadFoxx over the toprope and tried to hang him. The ref counted 1..2..3. and Adam pulled Foxx over the toprope by his neck. Adam climbed the turnbuckle to go for the Legdrop. He jumped off but The RoadFoxx rolled out of the way and pulled the chain with him. Adam flew headfirst into the mat. Foxx dragged him into the middle of the ring and took both dog collars off. He wrapped the collars and chain around his knee. He bounced off the ropes, did a little dance, jumped, turned, Adam moved, and Foxx landed on his knee. Derek laughed and said,"What a Slobber-Knocker! The RoadFoxx missed his RoadKill finisher and hurt himself with that chain." RoadFoxx was on the mat holding his knee with the chain still on it. Adam saw his opening and did elbow drops and all kinds of different things to his knee. Adam put Foxx in the Figure-Four Leglock and Foxx passed out from the pain. The ref called for the bell. Adam Blackman won but he's not letting go. Derek said,"He's gonna break his leg in half!" Joe Hart ran out and broke the hold. Adam and Joe fought into the fought and The RoadFoxx was pulled out on a stretcher.
Macho Moose vs. Pane
Derek licked his lips and said, "This is gonna be a SLOBBER-KNOCKER!" Macho Moose came out first and grabbed the microphone. "OHHHHHH YEAH, I'm gonna beat the crap out of Pane then I'm gonna stick a Slim Jim up his ass! OHHHHH YEAH!" Pane came out and went after Macho Moose right away. "Well, it seems Pane didn't like what the Macho Moose had to say very much at all!" Steven said. "No, really? I think the fans can figure that one out themselves. I think you just like talking." Derek said. Pane punched Macho Moose and then threw him into the corner. Pane kicked him repeatedly and then choked him. "Wow, Pane's on fire!" Steven said. Just then, Macho Moose grabbed Pane and threw him in the corner. Macho Moose punched him a few times, whipped him into the corner, and clotheslined him. Macho EvenMoosed Pane in the center of the ring. Macho covered 1...2..and a kick out by Pane. "Pane just won't stay down, you have to wear him out first." Steven said. Macho body slammed Pane down, and turned to the crowd to celebrate. Pane sat up. "I don't think Macho knows Pane is up!" Steven said. Pane walked over to Macho Moose still on the turnbuckle, but Macho Moose turned around, kicked him, Pane fell down, and Macho Moose did a elbow drop off the toprope before Pane could get up. Macho covered 1...2...3! Macho celebrated into the ring until Pane sat up again.
Kef-Pac vs. Josh LeReux vs. EdgE666
Derek screamed,"This is it! The main event is here and I'm still drunk! It's a Cage Match between EdgE666 vs. Kef-Pac vs. Josh LeReux and I understand it's a title match. So whoever wins this match will fight Kef-Pac at the pay-per-view and if Kef-Pac wins this it will be EdgE666 facing him." Steven said,"Nicely put.....for a drunk." Kef-Pac ran out and the crowed roared. Josh LeReux walked out and the crowd boo'ed. EdgE666's music started playing and the elevator began to raise. Steven said,"Wait. No one is on the elevator. Where is EdgE666?" Suddenly, the spotlight went into the crowd to where EdgE666 was walking out from. Derek asked,"Is that EdgE666?" EdgE66 climbed to the top of the cage and stood there holding his belt in the air. An employee tossed him the mike. EdgE66 grabbed it and said,"I realized that I look more like a Rage member than a Moose Pack member. So, I decided to change my appearance a bit. EdgE666 climbed down and got into the cage with Kef-Pac and Josh. When the bell rang, EdgE666 and Josh went after each other. Kef-Pac ran and dropkicked them both. EdgE666 went down but Josh stayed up and went after Kef-Pac. Josh whipped Kef-Pac into the cold hard steel. Steven said,"Ouch. That hurt me to see that. That cage has no give." Josh was choking Kef-Pac and EdgE666 was climbing the cage. When Josh turned around, EdgE666 speared him from the top of the cage and pinned him. The ref counted 1.. and Kef-Pac kicked him off. Kef-Pac did a spinkick that leveled EdgE666. Josh lowblowed Kef-Pac and did a gutbuster on him. Josh turned his attention back to EdgE666. EdgE666 kicked him in the gut and went for the Moose Cutter but Josh countered with a release german suplex into the steel cage. Josh covers. The ref counts 1..2 and Kef-Pac kicks him off. Josh grabs Kef-Pac by the throat and picks him up for a chokeslam. Kef-Pac kicked Josh in the head. Josh fell backwards and Kef-Pac fell into the ref knocking him down. As Kef-Pac was getting up, Josh rammed his head into the cage. Josh took the keys out of the ref's pocket and opened the cage. He pulled EdgE666 over to the door and tried to slam the door into his head but EdgE666 pulled himself out of the cage. Josh chased EdgE666 around the outside. EdgE666 jumped into the cage and locked the door which still had the keys in it. Derek laughed and said,"This is great! EdgE666 just locked the almighty Lord of Darkness Josh LeReux out of the cage!" Steven said,"It looks like EdgE666 took something with him into the ring with him from the outside" EdgE666 has a cup of blood. He drank from it and when Kef-Pac got up, he spit it in his eyes. Kef-Pac was stumbling around blind while EdgE666 helped the ref up. EdgE666 walked to a camera and said,"I call this the Moose Spiral." He walked over to the helpless Kef-Pac and did the inverted Russian Leg Sweep that he calls the Moose Spiral. He covered and the ref counted 1..2..3. EdgE666 won and is still the World Champion. Josh is still outside throwing things in a mad fit as EdgE666 is mocking him.