The Brain/Jerkicho vs. Triple X/Kevin Michaels
Jerkicho and Brain came out first, and as usual, the crowd started chanting "Nugget". The Brain grabbed the microphone and said "If I'm a nugget, then why did Jerkicho want to fight with me?" "Good question." Steven said. "That's an easy question, because they both suck. I don't see why this tag team was made anyway, if you add two crappy wrestlers, you get an even worse tag team." Derek said. The Heart Break Kevin and Triple X came out next. Triple X threw out home-made porn videos to the audience while Kevin took the microphone. "I know all you women want me, so just come out and say it, but please, no touching the Heart Break Kevin." Kevin said. The women in the crowd cheered. The Brain got jealous and low blowed Kevin. Jerkicho and The Brain double-teamed Kevin until Triple X got into the ring. Both of them went after Triple X. They tried to double clothesline Triple X, but he ducked, bounced off the ropes and clotheslined both of them instead. Kevin went to go get a chair while Triple X beat on them both. "See? I told you, this is just a crappy tag team, Triple X has taken care of both of them by himself so far." Derek said. Kevin came back into the ring, and the ref got in his way and told him to drop the chair. Jerkicho got up and tried to hit Kevin from behind, but Kevin ducked and Jerkicho knocked out the ref. Kevin hit Jerkicho with the chair. Triple X held the Brain and Kevin swung the chair at him. The Brain broke free and Kevin hit Triple X. Triple X was out cold. Jerkicho low blowed Kevin from behind and the Brain crawled over for the cover. The ref slowly moved into position and counted 1...2...3! Jerkicho and the Brain win! "I don't believe this, how the hell can anyone not beat this tag team? I could go in there with you, Steven and we could kick their asses." Derek said. Triple X began blaming Kevin for losing the match and Kevin said that it was Triple X's fault for not holding the Brain. Kef-Pac and the Road Foxx had to come out to separate Kevin and Triple X. "Looks like there could be problems in D-Kef." Steven said. "Wow, you really think so Steven? It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out." Derek said.
RoadFoxx vs. Crispy
Derek licked his lips and said "This should be a slobber-knocker!" The Road Foxx ran out, and Crispy hit him from behind. Crispy body slammed Foxx onto the steel ramp. Crispy tried the Crispy Spear, but Foxx moved out of the way and Crispy went off the ramp and onto the concrete below. "Hey, what the hell is this? Crispy hit Foxx before the Foxx Train could come out, that's gotta be a DQ or something." Derek said. "Actually, the match hasn't even officially started yet, they haven't even been in the ring yet so the ref hasn't rang the bell." Steven said. Foxx drop-kicked Crispy from the steel rampway. Foxx grabbed a camera from a camera man and hit Crispy with it. "What's he doing? This is not a hardcore match!" Steven said. "You said it yourself, the match hasn't officially started yet so he can't be disqualified." Derek said. Foxx brought Crispy into the ring, and the ref finally rang the bell. Foxx punched Crispy once, twice, did a little dance and then Pane came out. Pane knocked down the ref and powerbombed Foxx. Crispy got to his feet and gave 3 Crispy Spears to Foxx. A new ref came out and Crispy covered 1...2...3! Crispy wins. Crispy and Pane beat on Road Foxx some more, then Pane powerbombed him again. Kef-Pac came out with a chair and Pane and Crispy ran out of the ring. "I wonder how bad the Road Foxx is injured." Steven said. "What a slobber-knocker!" Derek yelled.
Sexy Della vs. Cactus Brenna
"THIS IS IT!! THE BEAUTY CONTEST," Derek screamed in delight. Derek got in the ring and waited for the contestants. Sexy Della came down first in a sexy cowgirl outfit. She flirted with Derek and showed him the puppies. Derek screamed,"LET THE PUPPIES BREATH!" Then, Cactus Brenna came out with Chilli Gunn. Chilli grabbed the mike and said,"I'd like to present....DUDETTE LUV!" Steven said,"Wow. Cactus Brenna...i mean.. Dudette Luv really cleaned up thanks to the help of Chilli Gunn." Derek checked both women out and said,"Dudette Luv looks good but not good enough. I'm a puppies man and I say the winner is SEXY DELLA!" Dudette Luv started yelling at Chilli and pushing her. Sexy Della grabbed the mike and said,"I know I look good. I'm calling anyone in the back out and I'll beat them too." Derek looked at the entrance ramp and said,"It's Tygress!" Tygress came down to the ring. Derek looked at Tygress with wide eyes. "TYGRESS IS THE WINNER," said PD Derek. Tygress turned to the crowd. The crowd roared and Sexy Della hit Tygress in the back of the head. Sexy started stomping on her. Chilli Gunn tried to help her but Dudette Luv bulldogged her on the mat. Steven said,"Look it's Rini!" Rini came out and kicked Sexy Della off Tygress then kicked Dudette Luv off Chilli. Sexy Della and Dudette Luv rolled out of the ring leaving Tygress,Chilli, and Rini in the ring. Sexy Della yelled at Tygress,"I want you tonight and I'll take your belt."
KidMike vs. Blackdust
"Where's your usual slobber-knocker line Derek?" Steven said. "What the hell are you talking about? This match sucks, both of these guys haven't won a match yet." Derek said. Kidmike ran out first, and the crowd cheered. "What the hell are they cheering about? This guy was a loser the day he was born, my grandma could beat him." Derek said. As soon as Kidmike got into the ring, black dust fell from the ceiling again,Blackdust ran out, and kicked Kidmike in the gut. The ref rang the bell. Blackdust continued to beat on Kidmike and then Blackdust threw him outside. Blackdust picked up a chair but Kidmike kicked the chair back into Blackdust. Kidmike threw Blackdust back into the ring, threw him into the ropes and drop-kicked him. Kidmike set up Blackdust in the corner and tried to splash him, but Blackdust kicked Kidmike in the nuts as he jumped at him. "Even I felt that!" Steven said. "I'm sure it hurt him a lot more than it hurt you. Besides, Kidmike deserved it, he always tries the splash in the corner every match, Blackdust knew it was coming." Derek said. Blackdust set up Kidmike in the corner and told the ref that he thought he saw someone sneaking around outside with a chair. The ref went to check and Blackdust gave Kidmike the Shattered Nightmare's Kick. Blackdust dragged Kidmike to the center of the ring, yelled at the ref and covered. The ref got back in the ring and counted 1...2...3! Blackdust wins his first ever UWM match. Blackdust gave Kidmike a lowblow as he walked back to the dressing room.
Kef-Pac vs. ReyMooseJr
"This match is going to be an all out what Derek?" "Slobber knocker!" "That’s right Steven this match has had along time coming, the infamous Moose Pack has sent their superstar Rey-MooseJr out to face Degeneration Kefs very own Kef pac! I cant wait to see this"Derek licks his lips. "Well Derek lets not wait any longer, bring out the wrestlers!" Match Moose noises suddenly filled the stadium. Rey MooseJr came running down the isle! He leaped onto the canvas and grabbed a mike and screamed "Kef-Pac im gonna make this short and sweet! Your ass is a bouncy ball and I’m gonna bounce it!" and threw the mike down. Derek said " Strong words from Rey wonder what Kef-Pac thinks about this?" Just then Kef-Pacs music began to play. Kef wasted no time! He ran straight for the ring at full speed and slid in but he slid right in to Rey’s boot! Rey started things off by stomping on Kef repeatedly. Then turned around and walked up the ropes and faced his fans and then looked at Kef and signaled for the Pimp Driver! The fans went wild! While awing in his fans glow Kef crept behind him and pushed him over the top turnbuckle! Rey hit the ground face first and man it did not look good for him. Kef ran straight backwards, bounced off the turnbuckles then ran back at the turnbuckle Rey had just been shoved off and with a great leap, Derek let out a girlish "AHHH", and cleared the top turnbuckle and landed right on Rey. This in turn hurt Kef as much as it did Rey and both were reluctant to get up. After a few minutes of lying there the medical units came to pick up both wrestlers, but by then they were both struggling to get back up. Kef started to randomly punch out medics in his confusion while Rey simply grunted like…well a moose. Rey climbed back in the ring and signaled for the Pimp Driver and pointed at the ref. He charged at the ref and tehn delivered the Pimp Driver to him, apparently Rey didnt want the ref to be in this match he must have a trick up his sleeve. But then to the crowds dismay he looked at Kef and started shouting "COUNT! COUNT!" it was obvious at this pint that Rey was also dazed and confused. Kef jumped in the ring and began to count. 1…2…3! Kef lifted Reys hands into the air! The crowd at this point was stunned! As Rey was raising his arms in victory Kef tapped his shoulder. Rey turned around to hear Kef-Pac say "SUCK IT!" then get kicked in the stomach and found his face on a one way ticket to the mat! Kef shook the ref vilolently to get up. The ref crawled over and counted. 1………2…….3! The bell sounded as Kef-Pac rose and walked away yelling words we are reluctant to say on the air while Rey got up and simply fell back down again. "Well folks that’s all we have tonight…" Steven began " wait a minute looks like Rey has something to say?" Rey grabbed a mike and started yelling " This isnt over! Dont u worry Kef-Pac ill get you!" "you just wait!"
Tygress vs. Sexy Della
Sexy Della came out first and then, Tygress came out. Sexy Della ran at Tygress and Tygress clothelined her. Tygress started stomping on her. Sexy Della kicked her off. She grabbed a rope from the outside. The ref tried to stop her but Sexy Della punched him. The ref called the match off. Tygress won by DQ. Sexy Della hog tied Tygress and began kicking her in the gut. Chilli Gunn and Rini ran out and chased Sexy D off. Once again, Tygress, Chilli, and Rini are left in the ring.
Josh LeReux vs. EdgE666
"This is a non-title match up. There is a heated rivalry between these 2 wrestlers." Steven said. Josh came out first and the crowd booed. Josh grabbed a microphone and said "Once I beat Stacy tonight, I'll prove I should still be the world champ." Josh said. Stacy came out from the crowd and pulled Josh outside the ring. Stacy threw Josh into the steel railing. Stacy went over to the announcer's table and set Josh up for a piledriver. "Get out of the way you idiot Steven!" Derek yelled. Steven and Derek both ran from their announcer's position and Josh back body dropped Stacy through the table. Josh grabbed a chair and hit Stacy with it. Steven ran back to the announcer's table. "It looks like everything the microphone is still working, but not much else is. I think the ref is doing the right thing here, he's going to let the wrestlers decide this match. Derek, are you coming back or what?" Derek slowly went back to the table. "What's the rush Steven? We're not getting paid by the minute here." Derek said. Josh rolled Stacy into the ring and Stacy low blowed him. Stacy kicked Josh in the ribs repeatedly. Stacy Even Moosed Josh and covered 1...2...and Josh kicked out. Stacy signaled for the Moose Cutter and Kef-Pac ran out with a chair but made sure Stacy didn't notice. Stacy kicked Josh, tried for the Moose Cutter, but Josh pushed Stacy into Kef-Pac. Josh distracted the ref and Kef-Pac hit Stacy with the steel chair. Stacy was knocked out and was cut wide open. Josh DDT'ed him a few times to make it look like he was the one who knocked Stacy out. Josh gave Stacy the Josh LeReux Driver and covered 1...2...3! Josh LeReux wins. "The ref could have counted to 20, Stacy wasn't getting up after that wicked chair shot and all those DDT's." Derek said. The rest of the Rage came out and beat on Stacy. Rey Moose Jr and the Macho Moose came out to help. Crispy and Pane fought with Rey Moose Jr and the Macho Moose while Josh continued to beat on Stacy while he was knocked out. Finally security came out and separated the 6 men. "Wow, first the Road Foxx, and now Stacy, both have got to be hurting and you have to wonder when they'll be back." Steven said. "They're both tough guys, it wouldn't surprise me at all if both of them were back next week." Derek said. "Next week? Isn't that a little optimistic? Well, they are both fighters, I shouldn't doubt them." Steven said.
The Big Moose vs. Pane vs. Joe Hart vs. Adam Blackman
Derek said,"This is gonna be a great match! It's a 4-way dance between The Big Moose, Pane, Joe Hart, and Adam Blackman." All four men were in the ring. The Big Moose and Pane went after each other and Joe and Adam went after each other. Adam grabbed the kendo stick and started beating Joe. The Big Moose clothelined Pane over the toprope. Adam turned around and Adam hit him with the kendo stick. The Big Moose got pissed and drop kicked Adam. Adam got knocked out of the ring. The Big Moose grabbed Joe's neck and got ready to Moose Slam him but Pane gave him the Big Boot in the back of the head. The Big Moose fell to the ground and landed on Joe's...family jewels. Adam pulled Joe out of the ring and the fight continued outside. Pane picked The Big Moose up. He tried to bodyslam him but The Big Moose was too heavy. The Big Moose picked Pane up and did a backbreaker. The Big Moose grabbed Pane's neck and Moose Slammed him. Derek yelled,"THAT WAS A MOOSE SLAM FROM HELL!!" THe Big Moose covered. The ref counted 1..2. and Adam knocked him off with that Kendo stick. Pane got up and Pane and Adam were whomppin' on The Big Moose. Steven said,"What the Hell is going on!? Pane and The Illegal Weapon are teaming up on THe Big Moose. Something is wrong here." Joe got back into the ring. Adam lowblowed him. Pane got him up in the powerbomb position. Adam climbed the turnbuckle and did the leg drop on Joe. Derek said,"SLOBBER-KNOCKER! What a move! A powerbomb, leg drop combintion!" Pane pinned Joe and Adam hit THe Big Moose again with the Kendo stick. THe ref counted 1..2..3. Pane won. Steven said,"That was weird. The ref is so blind. He never saw the Kendo stick. Why are Pane and Adam teaming up?" The lights went out. Josh LeReux's music started. The lights came back on and The Big Moose and Joe where in the air attached to Pentagrams. Josh and Crispy were in the ring too. Josh grabbed the mike and said,"HAHAHA! You'll never stop the Rage! Adam Blackman is the newest member of the Rage. We are growing and soon we will control all."